Green’s Dictionary of Slang

crump n.1

[seemingly a character (mentioned but unseen) in Shadwell's Squire of Alsatia (1688); Grose (1785) attributes sense 1 to phr. I wish you had, Mrs Crump: ‘a Gloucestershire saying, in answer to a wish for any thing; implying you must not expect any assistance from the speaker. It is said to have originated from the following incident: One Mrs. Crump, the wife of a substantial farmer, dining with the old Lady Coventry, who was extremely deaf, said to one of the footmen, waiting at table, “I wish I had a draught of small beer,” her modesty not permitting her to desire so fine a gentleman to bring it: the fellow, conscious that his mistress could not hear either the request or answer, replied, without moving, “I wish you had, Mrs. Crump.” These wishes being again repeated by both parties, Mrs. Crump got up from the table to fetch it herself; and being asked by my lady where she was going, related what had passed. The story being told abroad, the expression became proverbial’ (Grose, 1785); a version of the anecdote is used in C. Sedley A Winter in Dublin (1808) p. 79]

1. a solicitor’s assistant, who arranges for false witnesses to perjure themselves as required by a given case.

Show quotations
[UK]Shadwell Squire of Alsatia I i: I am going to the man you call Crump, who helpeth Sollicitors to Affidavit-men, and Swearers, and Bail.
[UK]B.E. Dict. Canting Crew n.p.: Crump, one that helps Sollicitors to Affidavit men, and Swearers, and Bail, who for a small Sum will be Bound or Swear for any Body.
[UK]New Canting Dict. n.p.: crump one that helps Sollicitors to Affidavit-men, Swearers, and Bail, who for a small Sum, will be Bound or Swear for any Body; on that occasion, putting on good Cloaths to make an Appearance, that his Bail may be accepted.
, , , [UK]Bailey Universal Etym. Eng. Dict. n.p.: crump one that helps Sollicitors to Affidavit-men.
, , [UK]Grose Classical Dict. of the Vulgar Tongue.
[UK]Lex. Balatronicum.
[UK]Egan Grose’s Classical Dict. of the Vulgar Tongue.
[US]Matsell Vocabulum 23: crump. One who procures false witnesses.
[Aus]Crowe Aus. Sl. Dict. 21: Crump, one ready to swear without reservation.

2. by ext. corrupt.

Show quotations
[NZ]‘A Cronk Camp’ Truth (Wellington) 19 Jan. 5: So this cronk Kimbolton camp was, indeed, a good place to be out of [...] and the black cook and the pair of crump contractors were left lamenting.