Green’s Dictionary of Slang

phr. to describe an unatractive (usu. female) face.

1912

Sport (Adelaide) 21 Sept. 15/2: They Say [...] That Little Siddy P. got very pugilistic when one of the mob said his tart had a face like a bucket of dead worms.

(N.Z.) a phr. used to describe a very ugly and or depressed face.

2003

McGill Reed Dict. of N.Z. Sl. 75: face like a bull’s/chook’s bum Ugly, dreary, drenched in misery.

a sour, irritated expression.

2012

R. Milward Kimberly’s Capital Punishment (2023) 88: Plodding about [...] with a face like a clenched fist.

(Aus.) phr. to describe an unatractive (usu. female) face.

2017

T. Spicer Good Girl Stripped Bare 213: It’s the old TV trope. ‘Jeez, she’s got a face like a smashed crab. A dropped pie. a good head for radio’.

(N.Z.) a phr. describing a face that is covered in severe acne.

2003

McGill Reed Dict. of N.Z. Sl.

(Aus.) an unattractive face.

1952

S.J. Baker in Sydney Morn. Herald 18 Oct. Sun. Mag. 9/2: Another approach to the invention of metaphor is the humorous gambit [...] thus [...] ‘a face like a gumnut’.

(N.Z.) a phr. used to describe a very ugly face.

2003

McGill Reed Dict. of N.Z. Sl.

a face covered in streaks of dirt.

2012

(con. 1980s) I. Welsh Skagboys 255: She gits a big fuckin wad shot right in hur pus! [...] face like a painter’s radio, ya cunt!

see have a head like a robber’s dog under head n.

a phr. used to describe someone who looks very depressed.

1986		J. Murphy Cedar (1987) 108: Big red nose, big red face, just like a smacked arse.
2000		P. Howard Miseducation of Ross O’Carroll-Kelly (2004) 41: She’s wearing the Allure by Chanel that I bought her [...] and a face like a well-slapped orse.
2005		N. Griffiths Wreckage 4: We’re four fuckin grand to the better [...] an you’ve gorrer face liker smacked friggin arse.
2013		T. Robinson Hard Bounce [ebook] [T]he two of them wearing faces like a pair of slapped asses.
2014		Twitter 5 Oct. 🌐 Woman in Tufnell Park with a face like a smacked whatsit muttering, ‘Disgusting’ as I clear up after Bridie.
2015		L. McInerney Glorious Heresies 31: She’d a face on her like a slapped arse and an arse on her like a bag of Doritos.
2018		Guardian CiF 31 Jan. 🌐 [T]here’s definitely more regular trouble in London but I assume that’s because it’s London and everyone’s got a face like a smacked arse.
2021		P. Howard Braywatch 24: ‘The fock are you looking at? [...] Focking face like a well-slapped orse!’.
2022		A. Parks May God Forgive 311: ‘[S]he’s a face like a skelped arse’.

(Aus.) a phr. used to describe a very unattractive (usu. female) face.

2017

T. Spicer Good Girl Stripped Bare 213: It’s the old TV trope. ‘Jeez, she’s got a face like a smashed crab. A dropped pie. a good head for radio’.

(UK/Aus.) a phr. used to describe a very unattractive (usu. female) face; also of one who is momentarily stunned.

1986

R. Beckett Dinkum Aussie Dict. 24: Face like a stopped clock: The person being referred to is either ugly, or stunned, or both.

a derog. description of the face of an unattractive woman.

2000–02

Amatory Ink 🌐.

(N.Z.) a phr. used to describe someone who is exhibiting great disgust.

2003

McGill Reed Dict. of N.Z. Sl.

(N.Z.) a phr. used to describe someone looking very depressed.

2003

McGill Reed Dict. of N.Z. Sl.

a phr. used to describe someone with a miserable look; usu. constr. with have a/wear a.

1895		W. Pett Ridge Minor Dialogues 38: One of them pleecemen with a fice like – well, you know, like ’alf-past six.
1898		W. Pett Ridge Mord Em’ly 150: Got a face on him like ’alf-past six.
1908		Bulletin (Sydney) 17 Sept. 34/2: She wore a face like nine o’clock and a pair of out-size feet, / And she stood up at the butcher’s block and bought five pound o’ meat.

phr. used to denote an unatractive face, esp. when very spotty or otherwise blemished.

1994		Google Groups: rec.humour 15 July 🌐 This girl is so ugly [she has] a face like a welder’s bench.
2000		Google Groups: uk.rec.motorcycles 7 June 🌐 ‘Like a welder’s bench (if it’s at all spotty).
2009		R. Fowler Fowler: My Autobiog. 79: ‘I had a face like a welder’s bench with a broken nose and plenty of cuts and bruises’ .
2014		W. Fahey Aus. Folklore Unit 🌐 Face like a bee stung welders bench.
2016		M. Valentine Holland Springs Complete Box Set [ebook] ‘I’m sure as hell not marrying a woman twenty years older with a face like a welder’s bench’.

(Aus.) menacing.

2023

A. Nette Orphan Road 47: [A] man with a face like five miles of unpaved road.

a phr. decribing a very miserable-looking face.

1914

W.L. George Making of an Englishman I 93: Why don’t you wait till you’re asked? ’Stead of sitting there with a face like yesterday.