Green’s Dictionary of Slang

crutch n.1

1. a crutch-handled walking-stick, the badge of the late 19C man-about-town.

[UK] ‘’Arry on Crutches’ in Punch 3 May 201/1: It wasn’t no or’nary mind as developed the toothpick and crutch.
‘The Flippity-Flop Young Man’ in W. Hamilton (ed.) Parodies IV (1887) 127/2: I’m a worship the lily young man, / Crutch and tooth pick-a-dilly young man.
Good Company (N.Y.) VII 441/2: But what they know about such things I wonder very much, It’s a glorious institution is the toothpick and the crutch.
N. Power in Booth Pink Parade (1933) 145: How d’you like the La di Da, the toothpick and the crutch? / How did you get those trousers on, and did they hurt you much?
[UK]T. Norman Penny Showman 2: A white hard felt hat with a black band, patent button boots, field glasses, crutch and toothpick stick.

2. one who carries such a walking-stick, thus a man-about-town.

[UK]Sporting Times 8 Mar. 1/1: A young ‘crutch’ went into the Raleigh the other day and [...] this conversation took place. ‘Crutch’: ‘Aw, Hobson, do you know of any horses for saled. Aw’.
[UK]Sporting Times 3 Jan. 4/4: Crutch is about to be married, and boldy says so. ‘Is she pretty?’ asks Toothpick.

3. (bingo) the number seven; usu. as one little crutch; thus all the crutches, 77.

www.ildado.com 🌐 Bingo Nicknames [...] 7... One little crutch.

4. (drugs) a device (a thin piece of cardboard, usu. a matchbook cover, rolled into a cylindrical shape) used to hold the last portion of a marijuana cigarette that has become too hot to hold in the fingers.

[US]R.P. Walton Marihuana 48: Such a holder in the New Orleans vernacular is known as a ‘crutch’.
[US]Maurer & Vogel Narcotics and Narcotic Addiction.
[US]R.R. Lingeman Drugs from A to Z (1970) 72: crutch Rolled matchbook cover, hairpin, tweezers, etc., used for holding a marijuana butt (roach) that has been smoked down too far to be held between the fingers.
[US]B. Rodgers Queens’ Vernacular 210: device such as an alligator clip to hold a marijuana butt [...] crutch.
[US]E. Folb Runnin’ Down Some Lines 171: Fire up, pass around, git d’ crutch out fo’ d’ roach.

5. (US) any form of (commercially produced) cheating aid used in a test or examination.

[US]Baker et al. CUSS.

In phrases

crutch-and-toothpick brigade (n.) (also crutchstick and toothpick brigade, ...school) [SE toothpick]

a broad group of ‘stage door johnnies’ and men-about-town whose sartorial badges were a crutch-handled walking-stick and a toothpick (of the dental variety), also used without ‘brigade’ etc. as an identifier of the type.

[UK]Convict Life 120: The Hon. Arthur Numskull, of the Crutch and Toothpick brigade.
[Scot]Falkirk Herald 1 May 6/2: [Y]ou will see the Crutchstick and Toothpick Brigade in all their glory, it is pitiful sight. [...] All that the tailor and haberdasher can do lor them has been done; but fine feathers not make fine birds. These specimens of the gilded youth of the period are for the most part microcephalous [...] their eyes have that fishy look which comes from premature plunging into the mud-bath of dissipation.
[UK]Sporting Times 8 Mar. 1/2: ‘Do you know anything about this race, Mr Yonder?’ said a crutch-and-toothpick youth.
[UK]London Life 14 June 4/2: [T]he degenerate and empty-headed bearers of the Crutch and Toothpick School.
[UK]London Life 23 Aug. 3/1: [H]e [i.e. a money-lender] is ever on the look out for fresh prey, and amid the Crutches and Toothpicks he finds many a rich fool suited to his purpose.
[UK]London Dly News 11 Jan. 2/1: The genus ‘swell’ is almost absent [...] the crowed appears to be made up of dissipated clerks [...] Some are made up in strict imitation of the orthodox crutch-and-toothpick type.
E. Sullivan Stray Shots 155: What a deal of good it would do the crutch and toothpick brigade to have to serve a year with the colours in the territorial army .
J. Coleman Rival Queens 239: The poor child was wending her way homeward, when she was waylaid by a prowler of the Crutch and Toothpick Brigade.
Nevill & Jerningham Piccadilly to Pall Mall 118: Quite a feature of London life in the ’seventies and early ’eighties was the ‘Crutch and Toothpick Brigade’.
(ref. to 1880s) E.F. Spence Our Stage and Its Critics (2007) 253: The ‘mashers’ and ‘crutch and toothpick brigade’ of the stage were rather the progenitors than imitators of the type.
(ref. to 1880s) H.A. Vachell Blinds Down 18: He despised what was known in those days as ‘the crutch and toothpick brigade,’ speaking of them scathingly to Rosetta as the ‘la-di-da lot!’.
crutch-and-toothpick parade (n.) [punning on prev. ]

a generic term for old and decrepit males.

[UK]Partridge DSUE (8th edn) 275/2: C.20.
funny as a crutch (adj.)

1. (US) wholly devoid of humour; but note positive use (poss. misinterpretation) in cite 1899.

Dly Item (Sunbury, PA) 11 Nov. 1/2: The piece abounds in bright speeches and strong situations and is generally as funny as a crutch.
[US]S.F. Call 6 Nov. 2/6: The push began to mourn [...] and situation became as funny as a crutch.
[US]B. Fisher Mutt & Jeff 6 Jan. [synd. cartoon] You’re as funny as a crutch.
[US]T. Dreiser Amer. Diaries 1902-1926 (1983) 28 Jan. 125: Say Andy. Your as funny as a crutch.
[US]Flying Mag. Sept. 171: This would be funny as a crutch coming from any one but you.
C. Drew ‘Wazoff’ in Bulletin (Sydney) 29 July 28/4: ‘Cripes, that’s funny,’ says Brusher, lookin’ at me serious. ‘It’s about as funny as a crutch,’ I says.
[US]Dos Passos Adventures of a Young Man [ebook] Irving Silverstone had gone to Harlem with them and acted funny as a crutch.
[US]letter in Life 30 June 28: Your article on muni golf is as funny as a crutch. The disappearance of recreational opportunities for urban Americans is no joke.

2. (US) very funny.

[US]Michigan Alumnus 31 174/2: I’m supposed to be serious , and if I’m just silly instead it ought to be funny as a crutch.
on crutches (adj.)

(US short order) of tea or coffee, served without milk.

[US]Sun (N.Y.) 28 Mar. 2/6: ‘Hong Kong on crutches’ is tea without milk.
[US]Salt Lake Herald (UT) 13 Jan. 8/3: Gimme a cup o’ coffee on crutches.