turnip, n. — Green’s Dictionary of Slang

turnip n.

1. (mid-17C; mid-19C) the penis.

1659		Mercurius Democritus 3-10 Aug. 92: She came to her mans bed-side, where he entertain’d her so well, that ever since she loves Turnips so wonderfully above all things, that her delight is in nothing else.
1837		‘The Vicked Costermonger’ in Flash Olio in Spedding & Watt (eds) Bawdy Songbooks (2011) III 189: I’ll sarve you vith carrots and turnips gratis!

2. (also turnip watch, turnup) an old-fashioned watch; thus cut turnip-tops, to steal a watch, chain and seals [its rotundity and thickness].

1823		‘Jon Bee’ Dict. of the Turf, the Ring, the Chase, etc. 182: Turnip — a watch; [...] Turnip-tops — watch-chain and seals.
1837		Morning Herald (N.Y.) 16 Aug. 2/5: Edward Mahony was charged with taking a turnip and trimmings — a watch and its appendages.
1840		Flash Mirror 7: [A] light-coloured neck scrag, gold chin prop, turnip and bunch of onions, pinched-in pin covers and Wellington mud-rakers .
1841		‘Bryan O’Lynn’ Dublin Comic Songster 18: Bryan O’Lynn had no watch to put on, / He scooped out a turnip to make him a one.
1846		Bell’s Life in Sydney 8 Aug. 3/3: He immediately shouted that he had lost his turnip.
1853		‘Cuthbert Bede’ Adventures of Mr Verdant Green (1982) I 18: There was a watch-pocket from Fanny, to [...] serve as a depository for the golden mechanical turnip that had been handed down in the family, as a watch, for the last three generations.
1859		Bell’s Life in Sydney 5 Nov. 3/2: It was found that a ticker valued at £2 [...] together with a patent lever and gold chain valued at £12 [...] had also disappeared [...] Williams might not be so respectable as he looked; in other words, it was premised as a certainty that he could best account for the loss of the two turnips.
1860		R.S. Surtees Plain or Ringlets? (1926) 302: The Jug then hauled a great turnip of a watch out of his nankin-trousered fob.
1873		in Sl. Dict. 330: Turnip an old-fashioned watch, so called from its general appearance, if of silver. Also called ‘a frying-pan.’ Old-fashioned gold watches are called ‘warming-pans.’.
1891		T.B. Reed Cock House Fellsgarth 83: ‘I never did believe in those Waterbury turnips, they always stop’.
1897		‘Price Warung’ Tales of the Old Regime 53: The turnip stealers, the pocket-handkerchief ‘nippers’.
1903		A. Adams Log Of A Cowboy 234: My turnip says it’s eight o’clock now.
1910		B.L. Bowen ‘Word-List From Western New York’ in DN III:vi 451: turnup, n. (1) Turnip. (2) A watch, more particularly a cheap one which keeps poor time. ‘What is the time by your turnup?’.
1915		H.E. Rollins ‘A West Texas Word List’ in DN IV:iii 224: biscuit turnip, n. A watch.
1924		S. Scott Human Side of Crook and Convict Life 27: In [the bag] the most valuable article was a prodigious gunmetal turnip watch.
1934		J. Archibald ‘Time Will Tell’ in Phantom Detective Sept. 🌐 I paid plenty for that turnip.
1948		J.F. Bardin Devil Take the Blue-Tail Fly in Bardin Omnibus (1976) 563: He looked down at his hand [...] as it plucked a gold turnip from his pocket.
1955		R. Bissell High Water 122: He hauled out a big turnip of a watch.
1968		H. Sackler Great White Hope I vii: (Rudy looks at his watch.) Uh-oh, he checkin his turnip again!
1970		E. Thompson Garden of Sand (1981) 263: He put down the watch and became busy in the back of a big gold railroader’s turnip.

3. attrib. use of sense 1.

1927		(con. 1835–40) P. Herring Bold Bendigo 285: The guard synchronised his silver watch which was a dependable old verge of the turnip pattern.
1993		M. Verdon Shawlies, Echo Boys, the Marsh and the Lanes 58: He’d pull it out, an old turnip job, nearly black with the tarnish.

4. a simpleton, a fool, a naive country fellow.

1836–7		Dickens Pickwick Papers (1999) 436: ‘But now’, continued Sam, ‘now I find what a reg’lar soft-headed, inkred’lous turnip I must ha been.’.
1872		‘Mark Twain’ Roughing It 182: Why, you turnip, if you had laid low and kept dark...
1888		‘’Arry on St. Swithin’ Punch 4 Aug. 49/1: For a fellow must be a fair turmut to stand such a Season of Slop.
1901		W. Irwin Love Sonnets of a Hoodlum XIV n.p.: Am I a turnip?
1916		G. Squiers Aerbut Paerks, of Baernegum 3: D’yo tek us for a couple of fleekin’ taernips?
1928		R. Lardner ‘The Maysville Minstrel’ Coll. Short Stories (1941) 3: Stephen had to take a severe bawling out for failing to squeeze blood from Maysville’s turnips.
1934		F. Nebel ‘Take It & Like It’ in Ruhm Hard-Boiled Detective (1977) 107: Precious nerts to you, you big turnip.
1944		J. Archibald ‘Meat Bawl’ in Popular Detective Aug. 🌐 What I’ll do to that turnip, Penryhn, no chiropractor or plastic surgeon will ever fix up.
1977		(con. 1954) J. Rosenthal Spend, Spend, Spend Scene 42: Not so loud, you turnip.
1984		‘Derek Raymond’ He Died with His Eyes Open 12: I sent the two turnips back to the gate.
1999		Guardian Rev. 11 June 15: My football team are all turnips.

5. the head.

1908		Vanguard Library 31 Mar. 5: Stick a handkerchief round your turnip.
1935		Thieves Slang ms list from District Police Training Centre, Ryton-on-Dunsmore, Warwicks 11: Turnip: Head.

6. a term of affectionate address; usu. as old turnip.

1922

M. Bodenheim ‘Poetry’ Introducing Irony 69: Maybe you’re spoofing me, you funny old turnip!

In derivatives

turnipy (adj.)

foolish.

1856		H.B. Stowe Dred I 322: Abijah [...] was recreating himself by carrying on a discussion with a fat, little turnipy brother of the Methodist persuasion.
1873		R. Broughton Nancy I 70: My acquaintance is confined to half-a-dozen turnipy squires and their wives.
1909		Manchester Courier 30 Dec. 6/7: He thinks that each Baron is base / And that each has a turnipy face.

In compounds

turnip watch (n.)

see sense 1 above.

SE in slang uses

In compounds

turnip-eater (n.)

a stupid person, by stereotype, a rustic; thus turnip-eating adj., foolish.

1656		Mennis & Smith et al. ‘Long Vacation’ Wit and Drollery 82: These all on hoof now trudge from town, / To cheat poor turnip-eating Clown.
1667		J. Lacey Sauny the Scot I i: And you there, Goodman Turnip-eater, with your Neats-Leather Phisonomy.
1942		W. Winchell On Broadway 13 Sept. [synd. col.] Tobacco Road [...] is back [...] John Barton plays Jeeter Lester, the king of the white trash. He is the sixth turnip-eater and oath-spouter who has occupied the show’s shack.
1967		C. Cooper Jr Farm (1968) 20: Lookit the President today – you ever see such a perfect example of a turnipeater?

turnip-faced (adj.)

stupid-looking.

1855

J. Brougham Basket of Chips 361: The self-satisfied, pompous, hignorance of them turnip-faced pumps in spectacles.

turnip greens (n.) (also collard greens) [play on the popular soul food]

(US black) marijuana.

1980

E. Folb Runnin’ Down Some Lines 171: Marijuana is [...] humorously linked to soul food (collard greens, turnip greens, greens).

turnip-head (n.)

a fool, a peasant, also as nickname; thus turnip-headed adj., unsophisticated, stupid.

1862		Glasgow Herald 29 Sept. 6/5: No sage, I’m sure, could know / This turnip head, that I have on / From those that there do grow.
1867		R. Whiteing Mr Sprouts, His Opinions 106: All for that turnip-headed country lout, a sort of a speck or dot among countless other turnip heads.
1904		‘G.B. Lancaster’ Sons O’ Men 21: Lavel had found occasion to call Franklin a turnip-headed liar.
1932		D.L. Sayers Have His Carcase 266: ‘Don’t like the hick she’s got with her, though,’ pursued Henry. ‘One of the local turnip-heads, I suppose.’.
1950		Exeter & Plymouth Gaz. 21 Apr. 5/7: It ws Turnip head who ran into trouble.
1986		Sun. Tribune 9 Mar. 45/2: A ‘turniphead’ guide to British cinema [...] begins with Alan Parker.

turnip-pate (n.)

a very fair head of hair; thus turnip-pated adj., having white hair or very light blond hair.

c.1698		B.E. Dict. Canting Crew n.p.: Turnep-pate White or Fair-hair’d.
1725		New Canting Dict. n.p.: turnip-pate White or Fair-hair’d.
1737, 1759, 1760, 1776		Bailey Universal Etym. Eng. Dict. [as cit. 1725].
1785, 1788, 1796		Grose Classical Dict. of the Vulgar Tongue n.p.: Turnip pated, white or fair haired.
1811		Lex. Balatronicum [as cit. 1785].
1823		Egan Grose’s Classical Dict. of the Vulgar Tongue.

turnip-snagger (n.) (also turnip-sucker) [SE turnip + snag, to snatch]

(Irish) a peasant, a country person.

1940s–50s		‘Flann O’Brien’ ‘Public Money’ in Hair of the Dogma (1989) 79: The fruits of this exorbitant fare structure are channelled off to subsidise the trips of the turnip-snaggers to the fields.
1942		Berrey & Van den Bark Amer. Thes. Sl. § 391.3: rustic, bumpkin, turnip sucker.
1989		H. Rawson Dict. of Invective (1991) 193: Those who live close to the land can be demeaned in terms of what they grow upon it. For example: [...] turnip sucker.
1991		Tony Gray Mr Smyllie, Sir 159: It is not you that we object to. It is the nocturnal activities of that gang of turnip-snaggers and potato pickers employed [...] to run the service in your absence .

In phrases

give someone turnips (v.) [pun on turn up v.² (3)/SE turnip; note Suffolk dial. give someone cold turnips, to turn down a proposal of marriage/love]

to abandon or jilt, esp. heartlessly, ruthlessly.

1812		Vaux Vocab. of the Flash Lang. in McLachlan (1964) 276: turnips to give any body turnips signifies to turn him or her up, and the party so turned up, is said to have knap’d turnips.
1823		Egan Grose’s Classical Dict. of the Vulgar Tongue [as cit. 1812].
1838		‘Jack Sheppard The Rover’ in Sparkling Songster 40: Jack lov’d his master’s darter, / But she gave him turnips.
1848		Flash Dict. in Sinks of London Laid Open 108/2: Giving turnips to cut acquaintance, to shun any body.
1850		Fast Man 2:1 n.p.: About this time, Elizabeth became acquainted with Davidge, and she accordingly gave the cow keeper what she elegantly termed, ‘turn ups’.