Green’s Dictionary of Slang

1. the penis.

1865		in T.P. Lowry Stories the Soldiers Wouldn’t Tell (1994) ) 39: [His comrades found ‘an old wench’ behind a pile of tobacco]. ‘So they all began to pitch in keen. Tom Michael held the light and she received about 60 big schlorgers one after another.’.
1967–8		Baker et al. CUSS 189: Schlong Male sex organ.
1969		P. Roth Portnoy’s Complaint 50: His shlong brings to mind the fire hoses coiled along the corridors at school.
1970		(con. 1950s) H. Junker ‘The Fifties’ in Eisen Age of Rock 2 (1970) 103: Back with the guys, who had probably been [...] pounding or pulling their collective pud, wang, schlong, dong.
1978		L. Kramer Faggots 212: He did get such wonderful sensations in his schlang. [Ibid.] 320: Think prick and balls and dong and schlong.
1989		C. Hiaasen Skin Tight 138: You think he’d let one of us grab his schlong if he was wide awake?
1998		Guardian 23 Oct. 16: This list of the biggest schlongs in sport.
2006		T. Dorsey Big Bamboo 136: John Holmes [...] Had a shlong the size of a Wiffle bat.
2010		J. Ellroy Hilliker Curse 5: He had a sixteen-inch schlong. It dangled out of his shorts.
2021		J. Ellroy Widespread Panic 39: ‘Johnny Weismuller?’ ‘King Schlong’.
2024		J. Meades Empty Wigs (t/s) 295: Homophobia wasn’t a crime in those days. It was cool to shout from the stage [...] that I didn’t want some guy’s schlong up my arse.

2. an idiot.

1978

J. Krantz Scruples 6: ‘You,’ she said, enunciating clearly, ‘are a putz, a schmekel, a schmuck, a schlong, and a shvantz. And a WASP putz at that.’.

3. an important, worthwhile person.

1997

E. Little Another Day in Paradise 36: All your life ya been a schmeckel. Now it’s time to be a schlong, put on fine clothes, go nice place.