Green’s Dictionary of Slang

muffin n.1

1. (also muffincap) a fool [? play on flat n.2 (1), i.e. the muffin is a small flat cake or link to muff n.2 /muff v.1 (1)].

[UK]J.B. Hart [title] The Amours of Geoffrey Muffincap & Molly Popps.
[UK]W.T. Moncrieff Heart of London II i: A visitor? hurrah! some muffin, I daresay.
[UK]T. Hood ‘University Feud’ in Works (1862) V 419: The members meet for that and other tuneful frolics – / And not to say, like Muffincaps, their Catichiz and Collec’s.

2. (also muffin-cap) a ‘pill-box’ hat or cap, as worn by charity-school boys; also attrib. [resemblance].

[UK]Dickens Oliver Twist (1966) 86: His jealousy was roused by seeing the new boy promoted to the black stick and hat-band, while he [...] remained stationary in the muffin-cap and leathers.
[UK]T. Hood ‘Tale of a Trumpet’ Poetical Works (1906) 608/2: The charity chap, / With his muffin-cap.
[UK]Essex Standard 8 Nov. 2/4: Another young gentleman, an éleve of the muffin-cap school.
[UK]Bucks Herald 9 Aug. 6/5: Their hats would have dwindled down to the size of a charity boy’s muffin-cap .
[UK]Bucks Herald 13 Nov. 3/1: The dress of a Northampton charity boy is[...] Blue swallow-tail [...] and muffin-cap and stockings of the same hue.
[UK]Sl. Dict.
[UK]Derby Mercury 31 Mar. 3/7: A head-dress [...] surmounted with an embroidered muffin-cap and tassel.
[UK]Portsmouth Eve. News 24 Aug. 3/1: [The] muffin-cap [...] makes an excellent quoit.
[UK]Dundee Courier 3 Mar. 8/1: The Hat in Slang [...] A by no means exhaustive list would include ‘tile,’ ‘golgotha,’ ‘canister,’ ‘castor,’ ‘chimney,’ ‘colleger,’ ‘cock and pinch,’ ‘cowshooters,’ ‘david,’ ‘digger’s delight,’ ‘fantail,’ ‘gomer,’ ‘goss,’ ‘moab,’ ‘molocher,’ ‘muffin cap,’ ‘mushroom,’ ‘pill box,’ ‘stove pipe,’ ‘thatch,’ ‘truck,’ and ‘wee jee’.

3. (Can./US) a female companion who accompanies a bachelor on his round of social amusements.

J. White Sketches from America in Farmer & Henley IV 378/1: When a man [...] has secured a young lady for the season, to share with him sleigh-driving and other of the national amusements, in Canadian phrase she is called his muffin., Her status is a sort of temporary wifehood [...] though [...] it has nothing in it which shocks.

4. (US) a male chaperone.

[UK]G.A. Sala My Diary in America II 159: Throughout the voyage that male person is the lady’s ‘muffin’ [...] and generally fetches and carries after the manner of a Newfoundland dog.

5. an incompetent, one who is awkward.

[US]Ball Players’ Chronicle 11 July 6/3: The muffins (poorest players) of the Trimountain Club played a match game of base ball on Friday afternoon on the South boston common [DA].
[US]L.H. Bagg Four Years at Yale 45: Muffin, an unskilfull player at base-ball.
[US]S. Lewis Arrowsmith 361: Joust [...] was straightaway discharged and replaced by a muffin.
[US]R. Chandler Big Sleep 145: You’re no English muffin yourself.
[UK]C. Gaines Stay Hungry 184: Crayag, you were such a muffin.

6. (US gay) in pl., the buttocks.

[US]B. Rodgers Queens’ Vernacular.

7. in pl., small female breasts.

[US]R.A. Wilson Playboy’s Book of Forbidden Words.

8. (US campus) an admirable person; usu. in combs, such as stud-muffin under stud n.

[US]P. Conroy Great Santini (1977) 30: Gee, thanks a lot, muffin.

SE in slang uses

In compounds

muffin-cap (n.)

1. see sense 1 above .

2. see sense 2 above .

muffin-face (n.)

see separate entry.

muffin-head (n.) [SE muffin + -head sfx (1)]

a fool.

A. Cherry Travellers, Or, Music’s Fascination 27: I’ll tell ould muffin-head [i.e. the Vizier] the whole truth.
[UK]Falkirk Herald 23 Mar. 3/6: But how come the sandwiches there, Mr Sam? / Ah, ha! telll me that, muffin-head.
Mrs H. Ward Hist. of David Grieve (2005) 56: Yo good-for-nowt, yo muffin-yed, yo donkey!
R.W. Chambers Streets of Ascalon (2005) 1: You old muffin-head.
Miller & Rooney Rants 149: George Bush, a President who looked all the more like a king for the fool he kept with him — the freckle-faced muffin head from the great state of Indiana.
[US]Cleveland Plain Dealer (OH) 4 Dec. E1: Zelda, you muffinhead, don’t tell me you’ve been suckered into the trendy toy trap again [OED].
L.E. Fodi Kendra Kandlestar and the Box of Whispers 15: ‘You masked muffin-head!’ the nearest pumpkin snickered. ‘You wouldn’t know magic if it nipped you on the tail!’.
muffin-top (n.)

a roll of midriff flesh bulging over tight clothing.

[UK]Daily Mail 30 Aug. 28: ‘Muffin top’ is one of 500 new words [...] in the latest edition of the Chambers Dictionary.
[Aus]T. Spicer Good Girl Stripped Bare 72: I’ve stacked on some weight. My muffin has a well-formed top.
muffin-worry (n.)

see separate entry.