Green’s Dictionary of Slang

the penis.

1598		Florio Worlde of Wordes n.p.: Priapismo, [...] pertaining to a mans priuties, or the standing of a mans yard.
1603		Florio Montaigne III iv: That good Emperour, who caused malefactors yards to bee fast-tide, that so hee might make them dye for want of pissing.
c.1611		Dekker Match me in London V ii: ‘Whether is a womans life measured by the Ell or the Yard.’ ‘All women by the Yard sure, it’s no life else.’.
1622		J. Taylor Whore in Works (1630) II 107 : [of a whore] A Yard’s her onely measure.
1639		J. Taylor Crabtree Lectures 48: A Tayler [...] talks of nothing but his yard, his yard, and is not able to afoord his wife London measure.
1640		T. Heywood Love’s Mistress IV i: If any of our Nimphs ... buy any commodity by the yard, doe they not wish it long.
1654		Mercurius Fumigosus 22 25 Oct.–1 Nov. 190: A Tailor being listning on the other side of the Wall, finding some moovings in his Yeard, manfully armed himself in his Thimble, and advancing his Spannish-Pike, put in between them to decide the business.
c.1670		Purgatorium Hibernicum 6: A frugall weare where they did Guard / To cut their Clath to their own yard.
1662		‘Some Luck, Some Wit’ in Ebsworth Roxburghe Ballads (1884) III 35: But when all was prepar’d To measure the Princess about with his yard, She bob’d off the Taylor, and made him a Goose.
1672–75		‘Merry Discourse Between a Country Lass & a Young Taylor’ in Farmer Merry Songs and Ballads (1897) II 72: Nay, hold good Sir, said she, / go not before you stand. / Except you take your Yard, / the depth of it to measure, / You’l find the Purse so deep, / You’l hardly come to th’treasure.
1684		Rochester (attrib.) Sodom V i: Produce, sweet sir, your lovely yard, I’ll vow, I would pawn honour to make trial now.
1699		N. Ward London-Spy III 58: [Inspectors of] Weights and Measures, taking care that every Shop-keepers Yard be of the Standard length, whilst the Wife (sitting behind the Counter) Laughs in her Sleeve all the time they’re Measuring.
1699		A great & famous scoldling-match 6: Sure you have forgot since the Taylor of Spittle-fields made you a Loose boddied Gown, and when he brought it home, put in a Yard more than your Husband allow‘d of.
1707		Fifteen Plagues of a Maiden-Head 8: To Labours, Christnings, where the Jollitry / Of Women lies in telling [...] When ’twas they did at Hoity-Toity play; / Who’s Husband’s Yard is longest.
1719		in D’Urfey Pills to Purge Melancholy II 112: [A] Draper ... Whose Yard ... Is us’d her Cloth to measure.
1732		Proceedings at Sessions (City of London) July 171/1: The Prisoner had been my Chum in the Fleet-Prison [...] He caught me in his Arms and kis’d me. I desir’d him to desist [...] I turn’d about, and went to sleep, and by-and-by he thrust his Y--d so hard against my Fun-----t, that it waked me.
1740		Dialogue between a Married Lady and a Maid II: He [...] softly opened the outward Lips of my Slit, and introduced the Head of his Yard into it.
1748		Spy on Mother Midnight I 22: mot. mid.: I’ll pawn my Life, she would soon learn to know how many Inches goes to a Yard, as well as the best of us [...] mrs. not.: As far as my Experience can reach, six or seven Inches will do as well.
1761		Nancy Dawson’s Jests 24: Yes, madam, says he, and my yard’s a foot long.
1770		D. Gunston (ed.) Jemmy Twitcher’s Jests 86: How could you swear it was a yard, / When it is scarce a span?
1786		Nunnery Amusements 21: The happy pleasures of a yard of steel; / Such as my Monk, my charming Monk, can boast.
1790		Banquet of Wit 14: Gentlemen [...] our yards dont seem to stand well this morning; we must have them braced up, and not keep them hanging in this manner.
1810		G. Cruikshank ‘The Archduchess Maria Louisa going to take her nap’ [cartoon] My dear Nap your bed accomodations are very indifferent! Too short by a Yard! I wonder how Josephino put up with such things even as long as she did.
1835		‘The First Tailor’ Knowing Chaunter 12: So, ever since then, all the women’s regard, / Is how to get hold of the men’s straggling yard.
1838		Crim.-Con. Gaz. 22 Sept. 35/3: Her attention was attracted by the sight of the iron vessel [...] building at Wigram’s. ‘What’s that?’ says she [...] ‘That ’ere ma’am [...] is Sir Robert Wigram’s yard.’ ‘Gracious heavens,’ cries Honey, ‘what a man he must be’.
1837–8		‘They’re All Shooting’ Cuckold’s Nest 37: She says she likes the draper, and she quite adores his yard.
1840		‘My Thing Is My Own’ in Fake Away Songster in Spedding & Watt (eds) Bawdy Songbooks (2011) III 284: A fine dapper tailor with yard in his hand / [...] / He talked of a slit I had above knee, / But I’ll have no tailor to stitch it for me .
1842		Flash (NY) 23 June n.p.: That young lady [...] who said she could take a yard — of soda water.
1850		Man of Pleasure’s Illus. Pocket-book n.p.: [S]o expert are these she-tailors in the handling and manœuvring of the yard, that they can give and take at pleasure; so that if they give a few inches extra at one time, they are always prepared and willing to take a few inches extra at another.
1867		Rosa Fielding 81: Perhaps [...] her mossy sanctum had been less worshipped, and she felt the want of a few inches, or yards — as the case may be — of wholesome cock.
1870		Cythera’s Hymnal 73: My father’s yard measure / I view with great pleasure, / Such a bloody great battering ram!
1879		‘The Reverie’ in Pearl 4 Oct. 30: Or else grasped firmly in her hand, / To make my yard more stiffly stand.
1881		J.C. Reddie Amatory Experiences of a Surgeon 28: As the huge yard moved in and out of its moist sheath, it literally glistened in the sunlight.
1890		‘Neaniskos’ Priapeia Ep. xxxvii 36: By accident my yard was hurt.
1896		Farmer Vocabula Amatoria (1966) 48: Brélingot, m. I. The female pudendum; ‘the yard measure.’.
1897		Flossie: A Venus of Fifteen 17: She [...] grasped my yard tightly between her lips, passing them rapidly up and down its whole length, curling her tongue round the nut, and maintaining all the time an ineffable sucking action.
1904		Lustful Memoirs of a Young and Passionated Girl 27: Julia enjoyed the delightful sensations his yard gave her while buried in her pussy.
1944–52		in G. Legman Limerick (1953) 335: In the speech of his time, did the Bard / Refer to his prick as his ‘yard,’ / But sigh no more, madams : / ’Twas no longer than Adam’s / Or mine, and not one half so hard.
1980		Maledicta IV:2 (Winter) 188: The ingenuity of the common man [...] applied the name of practicallly every outstanding feature to the male organ — e.g. obelisk, column, monument, rod, pole, yard .