Green’s Dictionary of Slang

an’t please the pigs phr.

also please the pigs, praise the pigs
[? SE pixies; Ware prefers pyx, the vessel in which the host or consecrated bread of the sacrament is reserved, thus making it a synon. for ‘God willing’, or ‘please God’; also note Gentleman’s Mag. 1790: the suggestion is that the ‘pigs’ were the scholars of St Anthony’s School in Threadneedle St, so named by their rivals at St Paul’s School, with ref. to the story of St Anthony preaching to pigs and always having a pig at his side; the phr. thus emerged as a derisive ref. to the rival establishment]

(? orig. Irish) if circumstances permit.

a.1682
17001750180018501900
1913
[UK]T. Brown Works (1760) II 198: I’ll have one of the wigs to carry into the country with me, and please the pigs .
[UK]C. Morris ‘The Great Plenipotentiary’ Collection of Songs (1788) 42: I’ll make up, please the pigs, for dry bobs and frigs, / With the great Plenipotentiary.
[UK]Gentleman’s Mag. Oct. 876/2: Your correspondent [...] asks the derivation of ‘an it please the pigs’ — It is with a small change the old Roman Catholic ejaculation, ‘an it please the pix’ [the box in which the Host was carried].
[UK]Sporting Mag. Oct. XXI 45/1: And Molly, says I, please the pigs, / We’ll see Mounseer and Ma’am Garnerin.
[UK]Morn. Post (London) 2 Jan. 2/4: Pity the saorrows of the poor old Whigs [...] Give us loaves, tho’ it dis-‘please the pigs’.
[UK]Marryat Snarleyyow II 191: Ladies, Mr. Vanslyperken stands treat, and, please the pigs, we’ll make a night of it.
[US]T. Haliburton Letter-bag of the Great Western (1873) 32: Land a head, my boy, and to-morrow we come down with the dust, not coal dust, please the pigs, nor gold dust [...] but real right down genuioine Yankee dust.
[Ind]Bellew Memoirs of a Griffin II 61: I’m off to-morrow — please the pigs.
[Aus]Bell’s Life in Sydney 20 Oct. Sept. 2/6: I am a polish constable, ami mano to remain so, plazo tho pigs.
[UK]Lytton My Novel (1884–5) I Bk V 392: Please the pigs, then [...] I shall pop the question!
[UK]C. Blondel ‘We Won’t Go Home Till Morning’ in Prince of Wales’ Own Song Book 49: So here we are as merry as grigs, / And here we’ll stay, an’ it please the pigs.
Funny He-She Ladies [broadside] At my opinion I pray don’t gig, / I’ll speak my mind, so please the pigs.
[UK]Luton Times 14 Aug. 5/4: ‘Please the Pigs’ — A good house to let, with accomodation for pigs.
[UK]W.B. Churchward Blackbirding In The South Pacific 205: I am one of those judges he speaks about so handsomely, and, please the pigs! I’ll have the pleasure of hanging him yet.
[Ind]Kipling ‘His Brother’s Keeper’ in Civil & Military Gaz. 7 Apr. (1909) 112: ‘Who’s going to die?’ ‘I am, please the pigs, if it gets much hotter’.
[UK]J.D. Brayshaw Slum Silhouettes 20: Plase the pigs, I’ll draw his club-money to-morry, and the poor bhoy shall be buried like a gintleman.
[UK]J. Ware Passing Eng. of the Victorian Era 196/2: Pigs, An’t please the (Pre-Reformation, Eng.). Corruption of ‘Please the Pyx’. Still common in West England, where ‘x’ becomes ‘gs’.
[US]D. Runyon ‘The Big League Scout’ 27 Apr. [synd. col.] Some were failures, but, praise the pigs, the most of ’em were bears!