Glasgow, adj. — Green’s Dictionary of Slang

Glasgow adj.

In compounds

Glasgow kiss (n.)

a head butt.

1986		L. Clancy Crack 31: Goff said, ‘There was never a better man than Jacko with the Glasgow Kiss.’ ‘The what?’ Goff made a butting motion with his head.
1989		in G. Tremlett Little Legs 92: I gave him the Glasgow Kiss or the Dandruff.
1989		J. Morton Lowspeak 65: Glasgow hello / Glasgow kiss – a headbutt.
1996		D. Campbell Underworld 121: Razor slashings gave birth to the phrase the ‘Glasgow smile’ - a head butt was a ‘Glasgow kiss’ .
2005		C.C. Parker et al. Teddy Bear Cannibal Massacre 96: Closest thing a hermit crab can manage to a Glasgow kiss I guess. There was a loud crack, and Douglas’ head rebounded.
2018		Guardian 13 July 🌐 The abundance of Scots offering to give Trump a ‘Glasgow kiss’ was only too inviting for the groping-obsessed American.
2022		Twitter 18 June 🌐 Give him [i.e. Johnson] a lovely big Glasgow kiss.

Glasgow magistrate (n.) (also Glasgow baillie) [‘When George IV visited Scotland, a wag placed some salt herrings on the iron guard of the carriage belonging to a well-known Glasgow magistrate, who made one of a deputation to receive his Majesty’ (Hotten, 1867). The Scots Magazine (December 1950) attributes the term to Walter Gibson, ‘a merchant of Glasgow and Provost of that city in 1688’]

a salt herring.

1856		J. Strang Glasgow and Its Clubs 285: This Club [...] better known by the title of the Tinkler’s Club, particularly when the brotherhood changed the hour of meeting [...] and when the steak was exchanged for a ‘Welsh Rabbit’ or ‘Glasgow magistrate’.
1864, 1867, 1870		Hotten Sl. Dict.
1890		London Dly News 1 Feb. 4/7: An ‘Atlantic ranger’ is the herring’s finer name. The same end may be served by ‘Glasgow magistrate’ or ‘two-eyed steak’.
1897		N. Platte Semi-wkly Trib. (NE) 14 May 3/3: ‘Digby chickens,’ ‘Glasgow magistrates,’ ‘Gourock hams,’ ‘Dunbar wethers,’ ‘Norfolk capons’ all meaning red herrings.
1900		Reno (Nev.) Eve. Gazette 28 Apr. 2/2: Red herrings are ‘Glasgow magistrates’ or ‘Norfolk capons’.
1919		Free-Trader Jrnl (Ottowa, IL) 8 Dec. 7/3: Gastronomic Animals [...] Glasgow magistrates or Norfolk capons are red herrings.
1935		A.J. Pollock Und. Speaks.

Glasgow oyster (n.)

a lump of phlegm.

2010

Urban Dict. 🌐 Ah’m gonna floz a Glasgow oyster in yer face.

Glasgow smile (n.)

two knife slashes that extend from each corner of the mouth to the ears.

1996		D. Campbell Underworld 121: Razor slashings gave birth to the phrase the ‘Glasgow smile’ - a head butt was a ‘Glasgow kiss’ .
2006		C. Unsworth Not Knowing 9: The one with a Glasgow Smile, a livid, red scar, clean across his face.
2012		Express On Line 21 Sept. 🌐 We’re seeing at least one ‘Glasgow smile’ a week - that’s where the mouth is slashed right round to the ear.