Green’s Dictionary of Slang

1. (also John Thomson, Master John Thomas, Saint John Thomas, Sir Thomas) the penis.

1653		Urquhart (trans.) Gargantua and Pantagruel (1927) Bk I Ch. xvii: Then, with a smile, he undid his magnificent codpiece and, bringing out his john-thomas, pissed on them.
1678		J. Ray Proverbs (2nd edn) 377: Of effeminate persons. He is John Thomsones man, coutching carle. He wears short hose.
1837		song title in Flash Olio in Spedding & Watt (eds) Bawdy Songbooks (2011) III 185: John Thomas and Peggy Perkins.
1879		Pearl I:1 (1968) 5: Her eyes seemed to start with terror at the sudden apparition of Mr. John Thomas.
1883		‘Three Chums’ in Boudoir I 4: How she threw her legs over my buttocks, and heaved up to meet every push of John Thomas.
1888–94		‘Walter’ My Secret Life (1966) VIII 1690: ‘John Thomas,’ the procreator, poker, pego, penis, of the male.
1898		Forbidden Fruit n.p.: Mr. John Thomas was excited.
1898		‘Suzan Aked’ The Simple Tale of Suzan Aked 182: ‘I am sure Susan would like to make his acquaintance, and that of holy Saint John Thomas too!’.
c.1900		‘Ramrod’ Family Connections 8: She tickled the thread of the penis with her tongue. Master John Thomas began to jump and swell.
1907		C. Prendergast Sadopaideia 2: I felt what seemed a deliberate pressure of her thigh against my left trouser. John Thomas responded at once.
1922		Joyce Ulysses 405: Of John Thomas, her spouse. No fake, old man Leo.
1929		D.H. Lawrence ‘The Little Wowser’ in Pansies in Complete Poems 493: There is a little wowser / John Thomas by name [...] I think of all the little brutes / as ever was invented / that little cod’s the holy worst.
1947		D. Davin For the Rest of Our Lives 300: Pleased as punch he was too because the kid had such a fine John Thomas on him.
1956		‘The Ball of Kerrimuir’ in ‘Count P. Vicarion’ Bawdy Ballads XXI: The village cripple he was there, / But he didn’t shag too much, / His old John Thomas had fallen off / So he fucked ’em with his crutch.
1965		L. Dunne Goodbye to the Hill (1986) 80: The way some of them used to gape you’d think I was giving them a flash of the john thomas or something.
1973		B.S. Johnson All Bull 65: As between her white legs my position I took / And Sir Thomas I silently buried.
1976		(con. 1940s–50s) J. Braine Waiting for Sheila (1977) 64: ‘The man gets out his John Thomas –’ he giggled. [Ibid.] 119: You’d no sooner got out of the car than she whipped out my John Thomas.
1980		J. McClure Spike Island (1981) 140: There’s his John Thomas, standin’ to attention.
1985		‘Jennifer Blowdryer’ Modern English 72: genitalia: male (n): John Thomas.
1994		Penguin Bk of Aus. Jokes 448: The VD removed my John Thomas – nothing left to dangle.
2001		B. Thacker Confessions of a Tour Leader 282: He then delicately pulled out his John Thomas, dipped it in his beer, swirled it around, took it out, shook it, and plopped it back in his pants.
2012		Metro 22 May 37/2: I’ve already discovered how to accurately gauge the length of a man’s John Thomas.
2024		J. Meades Empty Wigs (t/s) 155: ‘Let me see your john thomas Halfhead’.

2. a liveried servant [generic name or ? like the former, the latter ‘stands’ in the presence of a lady].

1857		Jersey Indep. 9 Dec. 4: Here was John Thomas, once the cynosure of housmeaids’ eyes — once honoured, perchance, by countesses with commands to bring up coal scuttles.
1860		R. Surtees Plain or Ringlets (1926) 4: John Thomas his calves revised and hair powdered after the toils of unpacking.
1877		Five Years’ Penal Servitude 266: A very short residence in the house will tell John Thomas if the ‘thing is to be done or not’.
1883		Echo 18 Apr. 1/5: Pity the sorrows of a poor flunkey! [...] Who would have thought, to see john thomas [...] sunning himself on the forms provided for his use outside the shops in Regent Street, that he was a sufferer from many hours of confinement indoors [F&H].