Green’s Dictionary of Slang

easy as... adj.

1. used in a variety of combs. as follows, to mean very simple indeed, sometimes almost criminally so; see also separate entries.

In phrases

[Aus]Sydney Gaz. 3 Feb. 2/6: [from Blackwood’s mag.] To hear the present generation talk, one would imagine that all the arcana of human nature had been just discovered, and made as easy as ABC.
[UK]Egan Bk of Sports 189: What are you waiting for [...] it is as easy as A B C.
[UK]Leeds Times 7 May 6/4: The plan is this —was as ABC — they [etc.].
[US]Scranton Trib. (PA) 6 Dec. 3/6: [headline] As Easy as ABC.
Intermountain Catholic (UT) 9 Nov. n.p.: I wouldn’t say ‘easy as ABC,’ if I were in your place.
[US]S.F. Call 11 Aug. 34/1: Recovery is Made as Easy as ABC with New ‘Lost and Found Column.
[UK]J. Curtis You’re in the Racket, Too 60: It’s as easy as A B C, if you’ll only let me have me say.
[Aus]D. Stivens Scholarly Mouse and other Tales 22: Your breath is poisonous. Find the antidote. Simple as A.B.C. tart
[Aus]Teleg. (Brisbane) 16 Aug. 8/3: ‘Internal borrowing is as easy as eating apple tart. We. simply accept each other's signatures as representing intrinsic value’.
[UK]J. Sullivan ‘To Hull and Back’ Only Fools and Horses [TV script] And there will be no problems, it will all be as easy as apple tart.
‘Cooler Master ATC210 Case’ Rev. 3 Apr. on NextGenElectronics 🌐 With the thumbscrew system, applied to everything in the case, installing and uninstalling your components is easy as cake.
...drinking beer (Aus.)
[Aus]Northern Star (Lismore, NSW) 28 Feb. 3/3: [R]ules are made, and promises of entire obedience to them are given with lightning swiftness, and the whole matter seems easy as drinking beer.
[Aus]Bulletin (Sydney) 8 Dec. 7/2: I could er cussed ’er ten mile as easy as drinkin’ beer.
[Aus]Sun. Times (Sydney) 9 Jan. 23/7: The Cologne ‘Volkszeitung’ makes an in genuous attempt to please both parties by declaring [...] that want is not knocking at Germany's door, and [...] that it ought to be as ‘easy as drinking beer’ for the poor to face privations.
...go and be blowed
[UK] ‘’Arry on the Road’ in Punch 9 Aug. 83/1: I tumbles to every fresh fakement as easy as go and be blowed.
...kiss my hand (also ...kiss my arm, ...arse, ...your hand)
[UK]C. Cotton Virgil Travestie (1765) Bk IV 72: But you may make ’em, at Command, As eas’ly stay as kiss your Hand.
[UK]C. Cotton Scoffer Scoff’d (1765) 206: And can bring this to my Command, / As easily as kiss my Hand.
[US]J.K. Paulding Bucktails (1847) V ii: jon.: How d’ye make out? pad.: Why, as asy as kiss your hand, governor.
[Ire]S. Lover Legends and Stories 6: They could show you a crock o’ money, as aisy as kiss hand.
[US]T. Haliburton Clockmaker II 243: You could do one at a sittin’, or six a week, as easy as kiss my hand.
[US]Spirit of the Age (Woodstock, VT) 12 Feb. 4/1: You can put a clock into their heads when you are a-puttin’ other fine things in too, as easy as kiss my hand.
[US]T. Haliburton Nature and Human Nature II 22: ‘Easy as kiss my hand to you,’ sais I.
[US]H.L. Williams Joaquin 48: He might [...] slash half a dozen to death as easily as kiss your hand.
[UK]C. Hindley Life and Adventures of a Cheap Jack 34: You will take a score of pounds just as easy as you can kiss your hand.
[Aus]Bulletin (Sydney) 4 Apr. 6/1: Now, here are all these people making plans for years and years to come, yet I, with my little buck-handled knife, could cut them and their plans off in ten minutes as easy as kiss your hand!
[UK]P.H. Emerson Signor Lippo 100: Why, easy as kiss your hand.
[UK]B. Pain De Omnibus 19: She cud ’ave gort in as easy as kissin’ the beck o’ yer ’and.
[US]Eve. World (NY) 12 June 13/6: He could read and write as easy as kiss my hand.
[UK]‘Sapper’ Black Gang 355: I’ll get this open as easy as kiss yer ’and.
[UK]J. Curtis You’re in the Racket, Too 57: It’s as easy as kiss me arm and we’d be made then for life.
[UK]L. Ortzen Down Donkey Row 107: There’s other bookies arahnd ’ere never use their loaf o’ bread and get pinched easy as kiss yer ’and.
[UK]J. Maclaren-Ross Of Love And Hunger 210: I win the cup. Bob’s yoor uncle. Easy as kiss me arse.
[UK]C. Logue Prince Charming 29: Rope-climbing was my speciality [...] easy as kiss your hand.
P.B. St John Paul Peabody 107: ‘It’s as easy as ninepence.’ ‘Well, it does look so. But suppose we get shot?’.
Salisbury & Wilts Jrnl 24 Feb. 7/2: They might force a horse, but if they said, ‘Come along,’ he would go easy as ninepence.
[UK]P. Barker Blow Your House Down 109: She talked about herself as easy as ninepence.
... old tilley
[US]Eve. Star (Wash, DC) 10 May 6/2: His easy, aimless life, and his eccentricities of costume and manner [...] crystallized into the familiar proverb of ‘Easy as old Tilley’.
[UK]Farmer & Henley Sl. and Its Analogues.
[US]Carr & Chase in ‘Word-List From Aroostook’ in DN III:v 411: easy as old Tilley, adj. phr. Very easy-going.
...pie (orig. US)
[US]Cincinnati Enquirer (OH) 23 Sept. 2/3: I can beat that Ella Chadwick as easy as pie.
West Kansas World 3 Sept. 8/5: ‘But where do you get the monish?’ ‘The monish? [...] venever I goes I takes vit me a silver spoon or a knife [...] and I get two or three dollars for them. It’s easy easy as pie.
[US]J.F. Lillard Poker Stories 54: They’d [...] get the aces, kings, queens, jacks and tens all together as easy as pie.
[UK]Marvel 27 Oct. 390: You’ll find it as easy as pie.
[US]Dos Passos Three Soldiers 404: ‘I’ve got travels orders in my pocket now.’ ‘How did you get ’em?’ ‘Easy as pie,’ said Slippery.
[UK]Wodehouse Carry on, Jeeves 213: Something that’ll come as easy as pie to you.
[US]H. Roth Call It Sleep (1977) 335: Go on, I tell ye, it’s easy as pie.
Hal Ellson Duke 42: Easy as pie it would have been.
[Aus]D. Stivens Scholarly Mouse and other Tales 62: Got it all figured out, bud. [...] Easy as pie. All you’ve got to do is to get yourself murdered by your boss.
[US]E. De Roo Big Rumble 47: Then it’s easy as pie.
[UK]Beano 14 May 8: Easy as pie, pinching this.
[US]C. Hiaasen Lucky You 165: Easy as pie.
[UK]J. Hawes Dead Long Enough 125: No, no, no boys, it’s easy as pie, said Harry.

in attrib. use of sense 1.

[US](con. 1973) C. Stella Johnny Porno 184: Not to mention the easy-as-pie overtime.
...pissing the bed (also ...pissing backwards)
[UK]Wandring Whore I 8: Here’s none but are old beaten old Soldiers at that sport, and as easy with them as pissing backwards.
[UK]Grose Classical Dict. of the Vulgar Tongue ms. additions n.p.: As Easy as pissing the Bed.
[UK]Grose Classical Dict. of the Vulgar Tongue (2nd, 3rd edn).
[UK]Lex. Balatronicum [as cit. 1788].
[UK]Egan Grose’s Classical Dict. of the Vulgar Tongue.
[Aus]R.G. Barrett Boys from Binjiwunyawunya 53: This is all falling into place as easy as pissin’ the bed when you’re drunk.
[US]J. Harper Pak Fan 11: ‘Don’t be such a wimp,’ Joey jeered. ‘It’ll be as easy as pissing the bed, and a lot less uncomfortable’.
...pulling a cork (Aus.)
[Aus]Kia Ora Coo-ee 15 Apr. 20/3: ‘It was as easy as pulling a cork,’ says he.
[Aus]Age (Melbourne) 26 Apr. 17/3: Dick with his 6 will get the ball out as easy as pulling a cork and lay it in the middle of the green.
...shelling peas
C. Reade Eighth Commandment 303: To invent good pieces is very hard and to adapt them is quite as easy as shelling peas.
Mt Alexander Mail (Vic.) 24 Mar. 2/6: It therefore followed, as a matter of course, that to lick this country lot would be as easy as shelling peas.
Record (Emerald Hill, Vic.) 22 Dec. 6/2: [T]hey will pooh pooh the idea of there being anything in them, and tell you that, they can be played as easy as shelling peas (a favorite phrase with cricketers).
[UK]London Standard 16 Sept. 7/2: Previous running had made picking winners as easy as shelling peas.
Notts. Garden 25 Mar. 11/7: Any smart young fellow can get round [servants] as easy as shelling peas.
[Aus]Riverina Recorder (Moulamein, NSW) 9 Feb. 3/4: ‘I’m blessed if I see how we’n a-goin’ to cut through no floorin’ board without waking of ’em up.’ ‘Easy as shellin’ peas. Jemmy tho Nut ’ull manage that. He’s got saws as ’ud cut through steel, and doesn’t make no more noise when their greased than a cat walkin’ on a carpet’.
[Aus]Sth Aus. Register (Adelaide) 9 Nov. 5/1: [T]he insidious underhand lobs of Humphreys will be as easy as ‘shelling peas’ to every one but the batsmen.
[US]Sun (NY) 19 May 1/3: If you [...] have a substantial bank balance at your back, making money is as easy as shelling peas.
[UK]Marvel 1 Dec. 532: Sure, an’ ’tis as aisy as shelling peas.
[Scot]Edinburgh Eve. News 25 Sept. 8/5: It is [an] easy thing to furnish a man at the front with a melodeon, and getting footballs is as easy as shelling peas.
[Aus]Aussie (France) 10 Jan. 10/2: And when you get ’em away on leave in thirties instead of threes, / You’ll get the hommes right up to the mark, as easy as shellin’ peas.
[Scot]Eve. Teleg. (Dundee) 13 Mar. 10/2: Easy as Shelling Peas!
[UK]G. Greene Brighton Rock (1943) 104: It was as easy as shelling peas.
[Scot]Dundee Courier 6 May 2/2: It seems to me as easy as shelling peas.
[UK]Birmingham Dly Gaz. 6 Dec. 6/5: Portsmouth made goal scoring look as easy as shelling peas.
[UK]Coventry Eve. Teleg. 4 Apr. 14/1: [advert] [M]ulti-colour and fair isle patterns are as easy as shelling peas.
[UK]P. Theroux London Embassy 129: It’d be easy as shit for some crack-head in the IRA to turn Horton Junior into hand-luggage.
[Aus]R.G. Barrett You Wouldn’t Be Dead for Quids (1989) 16: I’m tellin’ you, Les, it’s as easy as shit.
[US]J. Stahl Permanent Midnight 152: Bet we could take off those dinks as easy as shit.
[US]L. Kaye et al. Love Thing [ebook] ‘This is the contract,’ he said. ‘It’s easy as shit. A moron could understand it’.
...shitting in bed (Aus.)
[Aus]D. Ireland Glass Canoe (1982) 81: ‘How do you get rid of ’em [...] The bodies, I mean.’ ‘Easy as shitting in bed.’.
[Aus]D.J. McTaggart Cold Gold 152: ‘Yes, mate it’s as easy as shitting in bed.’ They both laughed at the old joke.


[Aus]Eve. News (Sydney) 27 Apr. 7/4: I could see how it was to be done as easily as ‘snuff’.
...stirring a foot
[UK]Ranters Last Sermon 2 Aug. 5: Dear Sisters, you may freely doo’t / As easy as to stirr a foot, / But if you cannot, tell me now, / And I myself will teach you how.
...taking candy from a baby
Conneautville Courier (PA) 31 July 8/3: ‘Oh, it’s easy! Easy as taking candy from a baby.’ ‘Easy, eh? Ever try to fake candy from a baby?’.
[US](con. 1920s) J.T. Farrell Young Manhood in Studs Lonigan (1936) 249: They’ll win as easy as taking candy from a baby.
[US]G. Metalious Peyton Place (1959) 119: That a gal [...] oughta be big enough to take what she wants from her pa, easy as takin’ candy from a baby.
Fremont Weekly Jrnl (OH) 14 Nov. 3/1: Many of you, most all in fact, could pay ‘as easy as wink’.
[US]Eve. Star (Wash., DC) 12 June 2/2: He can tell you ‘as easy as wink’ how many seconds there are in a billion years.
[US]Red Cloud Chief (Webster Co., NE) 6 July 2/3: O’course he cotch us easy as wink.
[US]Eve. Star (Wash., DC) 29 Sept. 4/4: That’s our task — Easy as wink.
[US]Sun (N.Y.) 10 Sept. 5/1: I suppose they can crack ’em off easy as wink.
[UK]Breton & Bevir Adventures of Mrs. May 89: It’s as easy as wink.
[UK]J. Maclaren-Ross Of Love And Hunger 103: Got me three sales off the reel, easy as wink.
[UK]P. Barker Union Street 210: I’ve known married women get them as easy as wink.
[US]Morn. Star (N.O.) 12 July 3/3: Building a fire [...] used to be easy as winking.
[US]Donaldsville Chief (LA) 13 Apr. 4/1: If we should live until we get the money, we should be worse than the Wandering Jew for age, and could discount Methusalah as easy as winking.
[US]Eve. Bull. (Maysville, KY) 2 Oct. 4/1: The gun is a howler and can throw a large projectile nine miles as easy as winking.
[Aus]H. Lawson ‘Two Men’ in Roderick (1972) 103: You could ’a’ done him easy as winkin’.
[US]Indian Advocate (Sacred Heart, OK) 1 July 69/2: To turn these poisons into [...] liquors or ‘cordials’ is ‘as easy as winking’.
[Aus]E.S. Sorenson Quinton’s Rouseabout and other Stories 103: ‘I’m hanged if I can see what we’re going to do to get clear of it.’ ‘Easy as winking,’ said Craig.
[UK]Dagger [London] Dec. I 4/2: I tell you it’s easy as winking!
[UK]P. MacGill Moleskin Joe 22: When there’s a scrap on, it’s easy pluggin’ a bloke unbeknowin’! [...] Simple as winkin!
[UK]F. Tuohy Inside Dope 163: Perhaps I have mobilised enough tricks of the trade to justify that ‘easy as winking’.
[Ire]J. Phelan Letters from the Big House 109: ‘Easy as winkin’,’ he said confidently.
Luton & Beds. Times 29 Oct. 5/8: Four men can get a car and move it over on its side easy as winking.
[Aus]W. Dick Bunch of Ratbags 63: The plan worked as easy as winking.

2. used of an individual in a variety of combs. as follows, to mean complaisant, uncomplaining. old glove
[UK]G. Colman Yngr John Bull II ii: Give me good words, and I’m as asey [sic] as an ould glove.
[UK]London Mag. Sept. 321/1: All the points, aud imperfections, and incoherences of the character are now worn away, and Liston is as easy as an old glove in his hobby-de-hoyish sentimentality.
[US]T.C. Haliburton Clockmaker vi: I’m as easy as an old glove, but a glove aint an old shoe to be trod on, and I think a certain person will find that out afore he is six months older.
[US]Argosy 1 Sept. 202: The captain was easy as an old glove at all times and over all crosses, unless he was a little ‘put up’ by artificial help.
[Aus]Sydney Mail 13 Dec. 773/2: Tears and laughter ; nobleness and ignominy ; truth and falsehood ; the rake's progress and the hero’s triumph, women wno wore their faitfullness as easy as an old glove.
[Aus]Mudgee Guardian (NSW) 2 Nov. 5/5: ‘Well, he's a devilish goodlooking fellow and of a temper as easy as an old glove’.
[Aus]Age (Melbourne) 6 Dec. 23/3: The manner most of us admire is as easy as an old glove without being free and easy. old shoe
[UK]Reading Mercury 7 Oct. 4/5: A good fellow is quiet as a mouse, and as easy as an old shoe.
[UK]Leeds Times 12 Sept. 8/3: What appropriateness is in saying ‘as easy as my old shoe’.
[UK]Norfolk News 9 May 7/6: He had heard of persons who were as easy as old shoes and such people were generally worth about as much.
[Scot]Fife Herald 6 July 2/2: I feel as easy as an old shoe [...] Just pull my legs straight, and place me as a dead man, it will save you trouble shortly.
[UK]Northampton Mercury 21 Nov. 11/3: My conscience is as easy as an old shoe.
[US]Princeton Union (MN) 13 June 1/4: He has repeated the latter [statement] so often that to him it has become as easy as an old shoe.
Northants. Eve. Teleg. 7 Nov. 4/5: As easy as an Old Show. Well, that’s easy enough.
[US]Bemidji Daily Pioneer (MN) 26 July 3/4: He was as plain and easy as an old shoe.
[Scot]Aberdeen Jrnl 14 Aug. 10/6: The ball became wet and greasy and the wicket as easy as an old shoe.