Green’s Dictionary of Slang

as much use as... phr.

used in a variety of phrs. meaning no use whatsoever, see also below.

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[US]Dalles Dly Chron. (OR) 1 Aug. 2/2: The people of this country have about as m,uch use for Cleveland as a mule has for an Indian.
[UK]A. Binstead More Gal’s Gossip 101: To the girl who cannot ‘put it across’ a jostling opponent, the sales are about as much use as a penny palm fan in Perdition.
[US]City Times (Clay City, KY) 16 Aug. 1/5: Some people seem to be as much use on earth as a gnat in the eye.
[US]Monroe City Democrat (MO) 15 Dec. 8/4: The people who borrow their newspaper [...] are about as much use to a town as a tin can in an alley with the bottom knocked out.
[US]Day Book (Chicago) 9 Dec. 30/1: He’s got about as mch use for the poor man as St Patrick had for snakes.
[US]Day Book (Chicago) 22 Apr. 30/1: They’ve got about as much use for him as they would have for a poisoned cheese.
[US]Nonpartisan Leader (Fargo, ND) 12 July 8/2: Your class is about as much use to us as a diseased appendix.
[Scot]Dundee Eve. Teleg. 27 Nov. 4/3: You’re about as much use as a glass eye at a keyhole.

In phrases

as much use as a (sick) headache
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W.G.L. Benyon With Kelly to Chitral 5: Luard had a beast of a pulling pony, and as his double bridle hadn’t got a curb chain, it was about as much use as a headache.
: .
[Scot]Blackwood’s Mag. 304/2: What’s the good of game preservation laws? The most thumping fine is about as much use as a sick headache.
‘Neville Shute’ Ordeal 134: The barrage is about as much use as a sick headache.
[US]Commonweal XLIV 370: All redistributive schemes are about as much use as a sick headache.
L.P. Hartley Boat 80: They’re a dull, up-stage lot, aren’t they? [...] About as much use as a sick-headache.
M. Laurence Jest of God 198: And I suppose you don’t think it was a strain for me, bringing you and Stacey up, with your father about as much use as a sick headache.
Parliamentary Debates (Hansard) 759: Some of the training boards perform a useful service, others are as much use as a sick headache.
M.M. Kaye Death in the Andamans 170: That young ass of an assistant is as much use as a sick headache.
S.J. Housley Sailing Made Easy 68: It was about as much use as a headache.
as much use as a chocolate teapot
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[UK]Cheshire Obs. 3 Nov. 4/2: The third XI these days are about as much use as a chocolate teapot.
[UK]A. Garner Red Shift 20: ‘You great wet Nelly [...] You're as much use as a chocolate teapot’.
R. Muir Old Yorkshire 244: Where else could an errant fielder be told that he is as much use as a chocolate teapot?
J. Bannister No Birds Sing 150: Cathy Flynn’s about as much use as a chocolate teapot. She ought never to be allowed out of the office.
H. Gee Futures from Nature 309: Sammy-the-Locksmith’s considered opinion proved as much use as a chocolate teapot.