Green’s Dictionary of Slang

kiss my arse! excl.

also kiss mine! ass! assorted peanuts! Aunt Annie’s preserves! axle! backside! bender! blackass! breech! butt! cuff! royal hindparts! Royal Irish! ...the seat of my pants! ...where I did sit on Sunday!
[arse n./ass n. note Chaucer, Miller’sTale (1386): ‘But with his mouth he kiste hir naked ers’]

1. a general statement of contempt or dismissal; often ext. as kiss my ass in Macey’s window!

[UK]Dunbar ‘Flyting of Dunbar & Kennedy’ in Laing Poems (1834) II 70: Thy Commissar Quintyne biddis thee cum kiss his erse.
[UK]A. Montgomerie Invectiues Capitane Allexander Montgomeree and Pollvart in Parkinson (Poems) (2000) 99a line 11: Leaue off thy flytting, come kisse my Erse.
[UK] poem in Wardroper (1969) 100: O sweetheart, come and kiss me / Where I did sit on Sunday.
[UK]Chapman & Shirley Ball V iii: win: I kiss your hand. bos: Kiss my hand! Kiss my ----, noble ladies.
[UK]J. Ray Proverbs 183: You ’ld kiss my a--- before my breeches be down.
[UK]Pagan Prince 69: Let all the Bullets in the Belgian Fleet, kiss where I sate on Sunday.
[UK] ‘Once, Twice, Thrice, I Julia Try’d’ in Farmer (1897) II 83: So kiss my arse disdainful Sow.
[UK]Vanbrugh Confederacy I i: He sets his Arms a kimbo, cocks his saucy Hat in my Face, turns about upon his ungracious Heel, as much as to say Kiss --------.
[UK]J. Arbuthnot Hist. of John Bull 86: Then Nic. lolled out his tongue, and turned up his bum to him; which was as much as to say, kiss -----.
[UK]Vanbrugh & Cibber Provoked Husband II i: Very well, says Roger, you shall see what our Meyster will say to ye! Your Meyster? says he; your Meyster may kiss my ----.
[UK]R. Bull Grobianus 13: [footnote] On his happening to sneeze a second Time, she said, Kiss my A....
[UK]Fielding Life of Jonathan Wild (1784) II 190: The captain with great scorn replied, Kiss ------ &c.
[UK]Bridges Burlesque Homer 14: My resolution still is, To bid you kiss my --, Achilles.
[UK]Grose Classical Dict. of the Vulgar Tongue (2nd edn) n.p.: Kiss Mine A-se. An offer, as Fielding observes, very frequently made, but never, as he could learn, literally accepted.
[Ire]Both Sides of the Gutter part II 10: I’m de boy [...] dat bid de English Parliament kiss our a—ses.
[UK]Sporting Mag. Jan. III 216/1: A third [man] called himself ‘Kiss my Backside.’.
[UK]Sporting Mag. Nov. V 95/1: He bid his lordship ‘kiss his a—e through a hoop.’.
[UK]Lex. Balatronicum [as cit. 1788].
[UK]W. Scott Search after Happiness in The Sale-Room V 1 Feb. xvi: Kiss my breech, and go to hell!
[UK]J. Winston Drury Lane Jrnl 16 Oct. 69: Elliston said to De Lancey he and his Mrs. ‘might kiss his arse’.
[UK]Egan Grose’s Classical Dict. of the Vulgar Tongue [as cit. 1788].
[UK]Crim.-Con. Gaz. 14 June 199/1: Dey gib him great offence and him bid dem all kiss my a—e.
[Aus]Satirist & Sporting Chron. (Sydney) 1 Apr. 3/2: What part of his beautified person does he wish them to kiss, sure not his A—.
[UK]W.H. Bell Diary 21 Mar. Alderman calling him a damn liar & go to hell God damn you & the fat man told him to kiss his aass.
[Aus]Bell’s Life in Sydney 3 July 3/4: ‘Let me kiss those rosy lips,’' exclaimed 22 B ; ‘You may kiss my rosy —,’ replied Kitty.
[UK]Karl Marx letter to F. Engels 29 Feb. in Wheen Karl Marx (1999) 269: I should tell them that i was a foreigner and that they should kiss me on the arse.
[UK] ‘Is It Anybody’s Business?’ Rakish Rhymer (1917) 143: Is it anybody’s business if you should—kiss my a—e? [Ibid.] 156: And if you do not like it, / Why just kiss my backside.
[US]letter q. in Wiley Life of Johnny Reb (1943) 212: The people [that] speakes slack about me may kiss my —.
Special Instructions to Players prob. hoax doc. ‘issued‘ by US baseball authorities single sheet: Such brutal language as ‘You cock-sucking son of a bitch!’ ‘You prick-eating bastard’ ‘You cunt-lapping dog!’ ‘Kiss my ass, you son of a bitch!’ [...] and many other revolting terms.
[Ire]Joyce Ulysses 140: Will you tell him he can kiss my arse? Myles Crawford said, throwing out his arm for emphasis.
[Aus]Gippsland Times (Vic.) 2 Nov. 5/2: Aw-cripes, dont pull my leg, / Yer boilin’, are yer? Kiss my cuff!
[US]W. Edge Main Stem 114: ‘What the hell’s the matter with you, Blondey?’ ‘Aw—kiss the seat of my pants.’.
[US]R. Fisher Walls Of Jericho 55: ‘Well, kiss my assorted peanuts!’ ejaculated Bubber. [Ibid.] 148: Well, kiss my Aunt Annie’s preserves!
[US]J.T. Farrell Gas-House McGinty 50: Kiss mine, Gas-House, Lapp said.
[US]H. Roth Call It Sleep (1977) 146: ‘Kiss my arse,’ she flung over her shoulder in Yiddish. [Ibid.] 312: ‘Aaa, kiss my axle,’ Polly glowered.
[Ire](con. 1880–90s) S. O’Casey I Knock at the Door 37: So one fine day, without as much as a goodbye or a kiss me arse to the rest of them, he set his face towards Dublin.
[Ire](con. 1890s) S. O’Casey Pictures in the Hallway 267: Mailmurra left [...] without as much as an I’m off, or So long, or even a kiss me arse.
[US]Z.N. Hurston Dust Tracks On a Road (1995) 693: You kiss my black, independent, money-making ass!
[US] in Randolph & Legman Ozark Folksongs and Folklore (1992) I 140: Will you marry me, my honey? – / Kiss my butt, you son-of-a-bitch, / ’Cause you ain’t got no money!
[US] in Randolph & Legman Ozark Folksongs and Folklore (1992) I 99: She was big around the waist, / And her apron wouldn’t fasten, / [...] / But if this girl should pass / They can kiss my dirty ass.
[Ire]L.O’Flaherty Insurrection 77: ‘Kiss my arse,’ the woman said to him contemptuously.
[US](con. 1948) G. Mandel Flee the Angry Strangers 67: Well, kiss my royal ...
[Aus]T.A.G. Hungerford Riverslake 174: Me? They can kiss my Royal Irish!
[US]L. Uris Battle Cry (1964) 129: Well, kiss my moneymaking ass.
[US](con. 1920s–30s) J.O. Killens Youngblood (1956) 128: Tell Crossroads, Georgia, kiss my royal hindparts.
[US]R. Gover One Hundred Dollar Misunderstanding 22: I say t’myself, Well kiss my blackass!
[US](con. WWII) J.O. Killens And Then We Heard The Thunder (1964) 36: Well, kiss my ass in Macey’s window – I’ll be a rotten mama-jabber!
[UK]P. Barnes Ruling Class I xv: We don’t want love, we want a fat slice o’ revenge. Kiss my arse!
[US]‘Iceberg Slim’ Pimp 59: Well, kiss my dead mammy’s ass, if it ain’t ‘Macking Youngblood’.
[Ire]J.B. Keane Letters of Irish Parish Priest 35: ‘Kiss me arse,’ she said and no more.
[UK]B.S. Johnson All Bull 64: Sign on! They can kiss my Royal Norfolk rectum!
[US]L. Heinemann Close Quarters (1987) 28: ‘Wall, kiss ma ass!’ said Haskins. ‘Cross, ya mutha, what’s yo pleasure?’.
[US]M. Braun Judas Tree (1983) 98: Kiss my dusky butt!
[UK]M. Read Scouting for Boys in Best Radio Plays (1984) 175: The working class can kiss my arse / I’ve got the foreman’s job at last.
[US](con. 1968) C. White Life and Times of Little Richard 142: If you don’t like what I’m doing you can kiss my ass! The door swings both ways!
[US]S.L. Hills Tragic Magic 148: I wanted to tell them to kiss my black ass.
[UK]J. Cameron It Was An Accident 7: Kiss my arse George you love him like I love him.
[UK]Indep. on Sun. Mag. 9 Apr. 16: Kiss my ass, Jack, how do I know you wrote that?
[Aus]Penguin Bk of All-New Aus. Jokes 50: Why don’t you kiss my arse!
[US]S. King Dreamcatcher 7: Kiss my bender and how ya doin.
[NZ]A. Duff Jake’s Long Shadow 38: You’ an arsehole, Mr Bill. Kiss mine.
[US]E. Weiner Drop Dead, My Lovely (2005) 227: Just kiss my ass.
[UK]Observer New Review 9/2: We’re in a position where we can say we did it without your help so kiss my ass.

2. (US) an excl. of surprise.

[US]S. Ace Stand On It (1979) 132: ‘Hey, Stroke,’ he said. ‘Well, kiss my ass. How you, Dock?’.

In exclamations

I’ll be a kiss my ass!

a general excl. of surprise, amazement, delight, etc.

[US](con. early 1950s) J. Peacock Valhalla 42: Well I’ll be a kiss my ass, [...] I thought sure as hell you be buried in a poncho by now.