clayton’s, n. — Green’s Dictionary of Slang

clayton’s n.

[the advertising line for Clayton’s non-alcoholic drink (made from African kola nuts and citrus essences): ‘It’s the drink I have when I’m not having a drink’, written by Noel Delbridge, creative director of ad agency D’Arcy, McManus & Masius]

(Aus./N.Z.) a myth, an illusion, a fantasy; an imitation.

1982		Sun. Tel. (Sydney) 28 Mar. 176: Who’s the press secretary working out of the NSW parliament whose press-gallery nickname is Clayton [...] because he’s the press secretary you’re having when you’re not having a press secretary? [GAW4].
1990		Australian 25 Jan. 2: Hawke hits Claytons campaign trail [i.e. before an election has been announced] [GAW4].
1999		D. Looser ‘Boob Jargon’ in NZEJ 13 28: clayton’s visit n. No visit.
2001		D. Looser Boobslang [U. Canterbury D.Phil. thesis] 43/1: Clayton’s adj. indicating a pretence to or a largely unsuccessful imitation of the ‘real thing’.
2003		McGill Reed Dict. of N.Z. Sl. 48: Clayton’s Anything phoney or imitation [...] Hence Clayton’s choice, ie, no choice at all.
2006		B. Matthews Intractable [ebook] [I]n some circles it was regarded as a ‘Clayton’s escape’. It was claimed that authorities had allowed the pair to escape in the hope that Denning would lead them to Australia’s most wanted fugitive, Russell Cox.
2008		S. Krasnoff [kl title] A Claytons Defense [blurb] This is a story about profligate waste, unscrupulous politicking and bureaucratic empire building which involves both America and Australia.

in N.Z. prison uses

In compounds

Clayton’s drugs (n.)

second-rate drugs.

2001

D. Looser Boobslang [U. Canterbury D.Phil. thesis] 43/1: Clayton’s drugs drugs of poor quality.

Clayton’s food (n.)

prison food.

2001

D. Looser Boobslang [U. Canterbury D.Phil. thesis] 43/1: Clayton’s food prison food.

Clayton’s friend (n.)

a false friend who cannot be depended on.

2001

D. Looser Boobslang [U. Canterbury D.Phil. thesis] 43/1: Clayton’s friend a false friend, one who does not have the inmate's interest truly at heart, esp. applied to someone who promises to regularly visit an inmate, but does not .

Clayton’s lawyer (n.)

a second-rate lawyer.

2001

D. Looser Boobslang [U. Canterbury D.Phil. thesis] 43/1: Clayton’s lawyer an incompetent lawyer, esp. one who fails to successfully defend an inmate in court .

Clayton’s screw (n.)

an incompetent prison officer .

2001

D. Looser Boobslang [U. Canterbury D.Phil. thesis] 43/1: Clayton’s screw an incompetent prison officer, one who does not do his or her job properly .

Clayton’s visit (n.)

a visit that for whatever reason does not happen .

2001

D. Looser Boobslang [U. Canterbury D.Phil. thesis] 43/1: Clayton’s visit a situation in which an expected visit from an inmate's friends or family does not eventuate.