Green’s Dictionary of Slang

1. to become involved with, to use, to fool around with.

1880		in N.E. Eliason Tarheel Talk (1956) 91: In this coast country [i.e. of N.C.] the peculiar word is ‘Mess.’ [...] A politician says ‘That fellow is “messing” (associating) with the Radicals.’ A hunter says ‘You better not “mess” with a wounded buck.’ [...] A lawyer says ‘What did you “mess” (interfere) with the matter for?’.
1890		Kipling ‘The God from the Machine’ in Soldiers Three (1907) 5: Twas just my way, messin’ wid what was no business of mine.
1913		G.D. Chase ‘Lists From Maine’ in DN IV i 5: mess with, v. To associate with. ‘We don’t mess with those people.’.
1927		K. Nicholson Barker II i: The crummiest broad on the outfit, an’ you have to get messed up with her!
1930		Wesley Wilson ‘You Rascal You’ 🎵 You done messed with my wife, you rascal, you!
1947		B. Stiles Serenade to the Big Bird 139: There were courses in home-making and sewing [...] but the P.E.G. didn’t mess with them much.
1953		W. Eyster Far from the Customary Skies 325: Yuh think I’d be stupid enough to mess with jail bait? Huh?
1962		(con. 1930s) H. Simmons Man Walking On Eggshells 21: They ruled their part of the yard and nobody messed with them.
1972		Milner & Milner Black Players 215: He’s got three Black women. But I don’t mess with them ’cause Black women will cause you more of a hassle.
1980		E. Folb Runnin’ Down Some Lines 35: Cain’t be messin’ wid no ol’ pootbutt, some rookie.
1997		Simon & Burns Corner (1998) 41: The two head for a row of tables where they can mess with a handful of battered board games.
2000		Hip-Hop Connection Jan.–Feb. 17: I saw this girl I once messed with.
2012		‘Dutch’ ? (Pronounced Que) [ebook] ‘I’m only messin’ wit’ one cat. Cat named Rivera.’ [...] ‘He might be the only one you messin’ wit’, but who he messin’ wit’?
2020		S.A. Crosby Blacktop Wasteland 50: ‘I got this little piece I mess with’.

2. to harass, to annoy, to interfere with.

1880		see sense 1.
1928		C. McKay Home to Harlem 198: There are no cops in Philly going to mess with this girl.
1935		Z.N. Hurston Mules and Men (1995) 144: dealer: Well Ah got de cards. I can cheat if I want to and beat you anyway. big sweet: You mess wid dem cards and see if Ah don’t fill you full of looky-deres.
1946		Mezzrow & Wolfe Really the Blues 4: Mitter Foley [...] messed with the law some kind of way and got twenty years in Joliet.
1959		W. Brown Teen-Age Mafia 5: Nobody messes with you. Nobody pushes you around.
1966		T. Keyes All Night Stand 41: Have you been messing with my daughter?
1972		(con. 1960s) D. Goines Whoreson 276: The only ones I wouldn’t mess with were the Jews.
1985		Beano Comic Library No. 79 37: How dare he mess with one of my pupils!
1992		V. Headley Yardie 10: Very few boys were foolish enough to mess with him.
2000		M. Amis Experience 5: Because it messes with the head.
2001		(con. 1990s) in J. Miller One of the Guys 61: ‘They got confrontations with the Slobs. They just be all, they always with them, messin’ with them’.
2008		G. Pelecanos Way Home (2009) 83: He [...] held no Muslim beliefs. He wore the skull cap just to mess with the guards.
2013		T.F. Dunham ‘Soul Collection’ in ThugLit July-Aug. [ebook] [I]t served a purpose, warning this asshole not to mess with us.
2016		V. McDermid Out of Bounds (2017) 329: That must have really messed with Gabriel's head.
2022		G.M. Graff Watergate 123: Magruder had sought [...] ways to mess with Muskie and his fellow Democratic candidates.

3. to laugh at, to ridicule, to tease.

1984		Eble Campus Sl. Sept. 5: mess with – tease, joke with.
1994		W.D. Myers Darnell Rock Reporting 3: ‘How was school?’ [...] ‘Okay except for the mass murders and the kangaroo in the lunchroom,’ Tamika said. ‘That’s good,’ Mr. Rock said. ‘Yo, Daddy, she’s messing with you again,’ Danell said.
1998		(con. 1986) G. Pelecanos Sweet Forever 23: I’m just messin’ with you, man.
2000		N. Barlay Crumple Zone 164: — I talked to your mum earlier. Now that’s a statement not to mess with.
2006		G. Malkani Londonstani (2007) 22: Ain’t nobody mess with us [...] Take some advice from me, don’t mess wid us.