Green’s Dictionary of Slang

1. a masturbator.

1973		B.S. Johnson All Bull 150: Rise and shine! Let’s have you! I said, get up, you fucking wankers!
1985		‘Thommo’ Dict. Aus. Swearing & Sex Sayings 138: WANKER — One who wanks.
1986		F. Pitt-Kethley Sky Ray Lolly 24: Wankers [...] The slob was on next, pulling at himself.
1999		K. Sampson Powder 367: It was Billie, the wanker, who was holding his hand.
2000		Sun. Times Mag. 6 Feb. 34: I was a donor. Yes, I’m a w***er.

2. (also wank) a general derog. description of a lazy, incompetent, unpleasant person.

1971		J. Mandelkau Buttons 143: I asked them directly, waving an iron bar up and down, if they still thought my prospects were wankers.
1976		P. Theroux Family Arsenal 195: They don’t know nothing, the wankers.
1980		T. McClenaghan Submariners I i: He sounds like a right wanker.
1993		G. Disher Deathdeal [ebook] [The] real estate wankers must have dusted off the dented brass nameplate.
1994		Eble Campus Sl. Apr. 8: wanker – loser, uncool person.
1998		A. Warner Sopranos 268: Fuckin wanker, goes Manda.
1999		N. Cohn Yes We have No 201: A bunch of licensed wankers swapping porky-pies over lunch.
2005		H. Mantel Beyond Black 322: Dionnie and Keith aren’t real and Evan is a wanker.
2005		P. Temple Broken Shore (2007) [ebook] You wankers [...] Looking after the rich, that’s your fucking job, isn’t it?
2009		L. McIlvanney All the Colours 94: A hand [...] making the ‘wanker’ gesture.
2010		K. Richards Life 56: Mr Edgington, the wanker. Religious instruction.
2012		M. McBride Frank Sinatra in a Blender [ebook] If you had the money we wouldn’t be here, ya wanker.
2014		T. Black Artefacts of the Dead [ebook] He’s a banker wanker!
2015		I. Welsh Decent Ride 21: Back then, only ‘wanker’ rivalled it [i.e ‘poof’] as the most common term of abuse.
2016		N. Cummins Adventures of the Honey Badger [ebook] ‘You blokes are wankers’.
2019		S.M. Jones Lives Laid Away [ebook] ‘[Y]ou pathetic wankers are about three seconds away from a bloody fucking lawsuit!’.
2018		I. Welsh Dead Man’s Trousers 20: Been messed around by a couple of wankers, broken a few saps’ hearts.
2020		A. Parks Bobby March Will Live Forever 92: Murray [...] looking like he’s had a bucket of cold water thrown over him. Served the wanker right.
2023		C. Reithauser Mysteries of the Great City 15: ‘Watch where you’re going, wanker!’.

3. (Aus., also wank) a pretentious individual or object.

1973		(con. 1900s) K. Denton Breaker 205: Mark you, he’s fair! Got to be truthful – he’s a wank and an arsehole, but not an unfair man!
1978		J. Barnett Head of the Force (1982) 37: If that collection of intellectual wankers cannot masturbate their egos within the privacy of their own offices when I need space for an operational enquiry, then surely they can use the briefing-rooms.
1978		P. Corris Baltic Business 72: Haven't seen you since that wank at the Institute.
1987		K. Lette Girls’ Night Out 56: You look like a suburban wanker getting round in that clobber.
1990		J. Blackman Aussie Sl. Dict. 107: wanker - A bloke whose stupidity is only exceeded by his over-inflated opinion of himself.
1992		Tracks Oct. 66: Trev has more guts than a Waimea regular, more heart than a dozen politicians, and a love of surfing that makes ASP glory look like a self-indulgent wank.
2010		L. Redhead Thrill City [ebook] She swirled the name around her mouth like a wine-wanker savouring an expensive vintage.
2021		C. Hammer Opal Country 21: [H]e’s brought sunglasses, expensive-looking wrap-arounds. Make him look like a wanker.
2026		A. O’Hagan in LRB 19 Mar. 🌐 Prince Andrew came across like the more relatable sort of wanker, high on royal privilege but in touch with the inner life of the standard British male.

4. (US campus) an undesirable situation or thing.

1973		Eble Campus Sl. Nov. 4: wank, wanker – an undesirable person, situation, or thing.
1986		R. Hewitt White Talk Black Talk 183: Give it a bit of a chance. Let the little wanker go away.

5. the penis.

2003

CyberAge.com 🌐 The Big Guy may not speak to him, but he was blessed with another gift: a big fat bottlesize wanker.

6. in attrib. use of sense 2.

2021

P Howard Braywatch 91: ‘If it’s a choice between me and your wanker teammates, I always come off second best’.

7. see wank-pit under wank v.