Green’s Dictionary of Slang

wank v.

[ety. unknown, but note the many ‘beating’ synons, the alt. sp. whank and late 18C Scot./dial. whank, to beat, to thrash]

1. (also whank) to masturbate.

[UK]Memoirs of a Vuluptuary (1906) I 8: You have never wanked yourself off before, have you?
[UK]Memoirs of a Vuluptuary (1906) I 33: I don’t know whether I shall be able to keep from wanking when I get into bed.
implied in wank-pit
[UK]P. Tempest Lag’s Lex. 229: Whank, to, to masturbate.
[UK]G. Melly Owning Up (1974) 178: When the Chair had finished David Litvinoff rose with a question. Was it, he asked politely, permitted for the audience to wank during the recital?
[UK]‘Derek Raymond’ He Died with His Eyes Open 65: I’ve never had an orgasm in my life, not even when I wank.
[UK]Guardian G2 20 Feb. 6: It’ll be me wanking over my Baftas with a three-legged blind dog.
[Aus]me-stepmums-too-fuckin-hot-mate at [Internet] If you wanted to wank over me knickers, you y’just had to ask.

2. to masturbate another person.

[UK]Memoirs of a Vuluptuary (1906) I 67: Now wank me, and keep as close to my bottom as possible.
[UK]J. Fagan Panopticon (2013) 80: The only person that’ll be wanking Jay is some guy in the jail.

3. in fig. use, to waste time; thus wanking n.

[UK]P. Theroux Family Arsenal 227: Hey Arfa! Let’s go, mate – stop wanking!
[UK]M. Dibdin Tryst 41: Steve was [...] told to stop wanking about.
[UK]N. Cohn Yes We Have No 338: If you’re vanking, do it somewhere else.

4. in fig. use, to abuse someone else.

[UK]P. Theroux Family Arsenal 19: ARSENAL RULE [...] SPURS WANK.
[UK]I. Welsh Filth 322: He was wanking all over me.

5. to be logged on to a computer for a long time.

[US]J. Doyle College Sl. Dict. [Internet] wank [Columbia] 1. (n) a person who is logged on for a huge amount of time 2. (v) to log on, to stay logged on, and to hack your brains out while drinking lots of JOLT or Mountain Dew 3. (adj) having the properties of a wank.

In derivatives

wankerdom (n.)

a state of pretentiousness.

Robins & Sprague (eds) Trouser Press Guide to '90s Rock (5 edn) 754/2: Adam Jones is as tasteful as metal players come, always looking for some sonic alternative to typical axe-hero wankerdom.
[Aus]Sydney Morn. Herald 5 Apr. [Internet] He was reluctant to do this interview because [...] it might be a step down the road to wankerdom.
J. Clune Man of Month Club n.p.: ‘Hello, good evening, and fuck off,’ snarled Greg [...] It wasn't his gayness, it was his wankerdom Greg took against.
[US]D. Martinez My Heart is a Drunken Compass 22: [The] usual moping, fauxartist adolescent agonizing in literature—the Salinger, the Camus, the James Joyce, and the soundtrack to wankerdom in The Cure, Joy Division, and The Smiths.
wankery (n.)

pointless and/or pretentious activity, speech, etc.

[Aus]Arena (Sydney) #2 17: Call it compassion, call it self-indulgent wankery, call it what you won’t change my motives.
[UK]D. O’Donnell Locked Ward (2013) 283: Wishbone Ash and other sundry wankery.

In compounds

wank-bag (n.)

a general term of abuse.

[UK]I. Welsh Filth 30: He’s fucking up my crossword time, the helium-filled wank-bag.
[Ire]F. Mac Anna Cartoon City 12: The sound of REM singing ‘Driver 8’ filled the car. ‘I hate these bleeding wankbags,’ Dez said.
wank mag (n.) [mag n.4 (1)]

a pornographic magazine.

[UK]N. Griffiths Stump 168: Fuckin wankmags for them people, them fuckin bukes are. Wanner read about how the scum live.
[Aus] D. Whish-Wilson ‘In Savage Freedom’ in Crime Factory: Hard Labour [ebook] Wank mags, a blue tarp and two shovels.
wankshaft (n.)

see separate entry.

wank tank (n.)

a large, ostentatious car, purchased for the enhancement of its owner’s ego and the display of his material success.

[UK]C. Brookmyre Be My Enemy 44: There were already four other vehicles parked [...] including the ostentatious urban wank-tank.

In phrases

wanked out (adj.)


[UK]G.F. Newman You Flash Bastard 201: He had an intelligent face and a constant tan, as well he might for he had a small wanked-out vineyard down in Southern Italy, not far from Squillace.
[UK] in G. Tremlett Little Legs 113: By the morning I was right wanked out because I’d had no kip.
wank off (v.) (also whank off)

1. to masturbate.

[UK] ‘Eskimo Nell’ in ‘Count P. Vicarion’ Bawdy Ballads XIV: Back to the land of the mighty stand, where the nights are six months long, / Where the polar bear whanks off in his lair.
[UK]P. Willmott Adolescent Boys of East London (1969) 54: Me and my mates, we tell everybody we wank off.
‘Groupie Gloss.’ on A. Lorber Groupies [album] Whank-off: to masturbate.
[US]L. Kramer Faggots 49: Today its even considered healthy to wank off.
[UK]I. Welsh Trainspotting 198: We used to wank off tae porno mags as wee laddies.
[US]T. Udo Vatican Bloodbath 37: Liberated from the need to conceal his predilection for pre-teen boys, no longer confined to merely fondling choir boys and wanking off in confessionals.

2. to masturbate another person, usu, male; also in fig. use, to behave self-indulgently.

[UK]Indep. Rev. 3 Aug. 2: How long are you people going to sit in an air-pocket wanking each other off?
[UK]N. Griffiths Sheepshagger 142: Gwenno yer might even go to bed with yew. Let yew fuckin do her. Suck yewer knob. Wank yew off.
wank on (v.) (also wang on)

to bore, to talk nonsense for a long time.

[NZ]H. Beaton Outside In Act II: Cowface’ll do her number. Wankin’ on about peace an’ goodwill.
[Aus]Passing Show (Sydney) #7 n.p.: The MUSC election saw a great deal of wanking on.
[Aus]Arena (Sydney) #2 16: I’d like to complain about the article in Arena [...] that wanks on endlessly about theatre at Macquarie.
Twitter 18 Oct. [Internet] Sorry (not that sorry) to wang on about this, but it's genuinely quite thrilling to see [...] Anglo-Saxon manuscripts on a massive Tube campaign.