Green’s Dictionary of Slang

absolutely confused, totally incompetent.

1953		J. Thompson Alcoholics (1993) 83: Getting everyone so mixed up they couldn’t find their ass with both hands.
1958		(con. 1945) F. Davis Spearhead 19: That kid platoon leader? He can’t find his ass with both hands.
1964		J. Thompson Pop. 1280 in Four Novels (1983) 478: So mixed up that he couldn’t have found his butt if it had a bell on it.
1977		Maledicta 1 (Summer) 12: The simplest kind of verbal attack is to accuse another person of low intelligence or lack of culture [...] He is so dumb he couldn’t find his ass with both hands at high noon, or is too dumb to haul out his jock to piss without a button-hook, or don’t know how to scratch his ass.
1996		(con. 1964-65) B. Thorpe Sex and Thugs and Rock ’n’ Roll 50: The morphine had kicked well in and I couldn’t find my arse [ibid.] 195: ‘Some of the lazy bludgers [...] couldn’t find their dicks in the dark’.
1999		N. Stephenson Cryptonomicon 681: No matter how much you plan [...] when the big day actually arrives, you still can’t find your ass with both hands.
2004		D. Weber Wind Rider’s Oath n.p.: They’re pretty damned determined to make Lord Festian look like he can’t find his arse with both hands.
2021		S.A. Crosby Razorblade Tears 58: ‘The cops [...] couldn’t find their ass with a flashlight and two hands’.

very drunk.

1890–1904

Farmer & Henley Sl. and Its Analogues II 31/2: Can’t say National Intelligencer, phr. (American). – A euphemistic expression equivalent to ‘drunk.’ [The National Intelligencer is an old Washington newspaper.].

1. very drunk.

1831		Navy at Home II 128: Hiccuping out, ‘that old Smallnouse, he was sure, ‘couldn’t see a hole through a ladder’.
1836		Satirist (London) 2/1: The Duke can now see his way to the bottoms of six bottles of wine without getting blind drunk. [...] At a recent dinner given by his Highness, he was able to see a hole through a ladder, when all his guests had become stone blind.
1838		Crim.-Con. Gaz. 15 Dec. 131/3: ‘You are drunk now.’ ‘No, your honour, only half seas over. I can see a hole through a grating’.
1840		West Kent Guardian 26 Dec. 7/3: Men are said to be drunk when [...] they can’t see a hole in a ladder.
1846		D. Corcoran Pickings from N.O. Picayune 201: He was so drunk the night before he could not see a hole through a ladder.
1851		Bell’s Life in Sydney 7 June 3/4: They [...] entered so many hostelries on their travels, that they were utterly unable to see a hole through a ladder.
1853		Dickens ‘Slang’ in Household Words 24 Sept. 75/2: For the one word drunk [...] far-gone, tight, not able to see a hole through a ladder, three sheets in the wind [etc.].
1859, 1860		Hotten Dict. of Modern Sl. etc.
1859		Bell’s Life in Sydney 3 Dec. 3/4: Disguised in liquor; a bit in the sunshine; sprung; can see a hole through a ladder; muzzy.
1866		Vermont Transcript (St Albans, VT) 9 Nov. n.p.: [She] couldn’t see a hole through a 40 foot ladder, for Mary Ann drinks like a fish.
1873		Sl. Dict. 211: Ladder ‘cant see a hole in a LADDER,’ said of any one who is intoxicated. It was once said that a man was never properly drunk until he could not lie down without holding, could not see a hole through a LADDER, or went to the pump to light his pipe.
1882		comic song in Ware (1909) 63/1: Every night does my husband come home blue, blind, stiff, stark, staring drunk, till he can’t see a hole in a forty foot ladder, sure.
1885		Bulletin (Sydney) 3 Jan. 10/2: But the whiskey-soaked joker inside couldn’t see a hole in a ladder at the time, and so he peacefully slumbered until the effects of the snake-juice wore off.
1890–1904		Farmer & Henley Sl. and Its Analogues.
1906		Salt Lake Herald (UT) 30 Mar. 4/5: He can’t see a hole in a ladder.
1909		J. Ware Passing Eng. of the Victorian Era.
1914		Sport (Adelaide) 13 Nov. 5/5: You don’t know, because you could not see through a ladder.
2000		(con. 1940s–60s) Décharné Straight from the Fridge Dad.

2. in fig. use, to be confused; occas. can see a hole in a ladder, to know what is going on.

1890		Iola Register (KS) 8 Aug. 4/2: They can’t see a hole through a political ladder when a man they have been constantly abusing [...] gets every delgate in the convention.
1894		Truth (Sydney) 25 Nov. 4/5: Anyone who can see a hole in a ladder can see through the Premiers Land proposals.
1901		Sydney Sportsman (Surry Hills, NSW) 25 Sept. 1/5: The public are not all fools, and the majority can see a hole through a ladder.
1914		Sport (Adelaide) 10 Apr. 4/1: They Say [...] That if he could see a hole through a ladder he would pull out, and let a more popular person take the position.

3. to see very badly.

1922

Eve, Public ledger (Philadelphia, PA) 19 Sept. 35/2: Yes — and who’s your detective? Old blind-as-a-bat Morton [...] who can’t see a hole through a ladder.

1. extremely drunk.

1857		‘Ducange Anglicus’ Vulgar Tongue.
1937–84		Partridge DSUE (1984) 179/2: from ca. 1855.

2. very stupid.

1838

T. Haliburton Clockmaker II 147: If I can’t see thro’ a ladder, I reckon I’m not fit for that mission.