porridge n.
1. imprisonment [the staple morning diet of such establishments in the UK + pun on stir n.1 (1)/SE stir].
| [ | ![[UK]](/static/img/flags/uk.png "United Kingdom") | Leaves from Diary of Celebrated Burglar 79/2: The ‘molls’ had brought our bags [...] and placed them in charge of the old woman, with whom they lived while we were ‘doing’ our porritch and kail business in ‘stur’]. |
| Night Scenes in London 90: ‘I ain’t as straight as some of yer, mebbe,’ he went on, ‘but I’ve ’ad me porridge an’ p’r’aps it’ll do me good.’. | |
![[NZ]](/static/img/flags/nz.png "New Zealand") | Truth (Wellington) 6 Apr. 6/1: List will avoid porridge till the end of his days. | |
| (con. 1920s) Inside the C.I.D. 47: When the thieves were sentenced at the Old Bailey to long terms of imprisonment the case was neatly summarised by a tall City policeman [...] ‘Jam today, but porridge (prison) tomorrow’. | |
| [ | | (con. 1920s) Burglar to the Nobility 72: Teddy [...] had blagged a relatively slight matter of five grand, but even so the Law felt he ought to go and eat some porridge for this]. |
| Skyvers III v: I could still do what you expect me to be doin’, haulin’ Whitbread’s when I ain’t actually doin’ porridge. | |
| ‘Live Now, P.A.Y.E. Later’ Steptoe and Son [TV script] Harold, I can’t do porridge at my time of life. | |
| ‘It Never Rains’ Only Fools and Horses [TV script] ’Alf hour later you’re doing porridge. | |
| Big Huey 252: Porridge (n) Imprisonment. From the staple diet of early prisons. | |
![[Aus]](/static/img/flags/aus.png "Australia") | Doing Time 194: porridge: prison. | |
| About Time 71: Something for the chaplain also - a new language. Jail, stir, can, boob, jug, porridge - it's all the same place. | |
| It Was An Accident 35: ‘I heard you were keepin’ company of police officers,’ he goes. ‘And you just out of the porridge. Got to be a connection there eh?’. | |
| ‘Boob Jargon’ in NZEJ 13 34: porridge n. Imprisonment. | |
| Boobslang [U. Canterbury D.Phil. thesis] 143/2: porridge n. prison; imprisonment. | |
| Raiders 65: Maybe Ronnie could have gone through his whole life as a working robber and never got a tug from Old Bill or a long stretch of porridge. | |
| Life 228: Robert Fraser [...] had pleaded guilty to heroin possession. He had to do his porridge. | |
| What They Was 248: You’re clearly an intelligent chap but you might just have to do your porridge. |
2. (Irish) based on SE porridge, a hotch potch.
(a) a confusion, e.g. a traffic jam.
![[Ire]](/static/img/flags/ire.png "Ireland") | Dear Ducks 272: The two front mudguards an’ the other lamp were in porridge. | |
| RTÉ Radio news 12 Sept. In Wicklow something of a porridge took place yesterday in Fianna Fáil [BS]. |
(b) nonsense; usu. as you have your porridge, you are talking nonsense.
| At Swim-Two-Birds 167: It’s only a rabbit or a black tyke, said the Pooka. You have your porridge, said Shorty as he peered with his shading hand, there’s trousers on it. |
In phrases
SE in slang uses
In compounds
1. a flaccid penis.
![[SA]](/static/img/flags/sa.png "South Africa") | Gayle 89/1: porridge bird n. 1. flaccid penis. |
2. an impotent man.
| Gayle 89/1: porridge bird n. [...] 2. someone who cannot get or maintain an erection. |
the penis.
![[US]](/static/img/flags/us.png "United States") | Hip-Hop Connection Dec. 6: Give me your porridge gun you ugly twat. |
(Scot.) the mouth.
| Passing Eng. of the Victorian Era. |
(Aus.) scolding, reproof.
| Truth (Brisbane) 25 July 3/4: ‘You don't need to come the porridge mouth with me and apologisin’. |
(Aus. / N.Z.) a Scotsman.
| Bulletin (Sydney) 6 Jun. 12/2: The imaginative young porridge stuffer thought the donkeys were rabbits of a gigantic breed. | |
| N.Z. Truth 29 Apr. 1/8: [He] was informed by a porridge-biting friend that Scotsmen play the bagpipes as a hobby. |
a derog. term for a Scottish person.
![[Scot]](/static/img/flags/sco.png "Scotland") | Trainspotting 190: Nicksy’s brar [...] described the Scots as ‘porridge wogs’. |
In phrases
(Aus.) to act in a submissive, apologetic manner.
| Truth (Brisbane) 25 July 3/4: ‘You don’t have to come the porridge mouth with me and apologisin’’. |
(orig. Aus.) to have sexual intercourse with a woman immediately after she has had sex with another man, esp. used of the final man in a gang rape.
| G’DAY 32: The bogs also have gang bangs in the backs of the bog wagons and the last one in stirs the porridge. | |
| Dict. of Kiwi Sl. 108/1: stir the porridge one of the last turns in a gang rape. | |
| Roger’s Profanisaurus in Viz 87 Dec. n.p.: stirring the porridge euph. To have sloppy seconds; to dip into a box of assorted creams (qv). | |
| Reed Dict. of N.Z. Sl. [as cit. 1988]. |
(N.Z.) to profess complete ignorance of someone.
| Reed Dict. of N.Z. Sl. |