Green’s Dictionary of Slang

better than... phr.

used in comparative phrs. denoting resigned acceptance, i.e. ‘it could be worse’, it is ‘better than nothing’.

In phrases

better than a dig/poke in the eye(s) with a blunt/burnt/sharp stick, ...a bunch of firewood
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Catholic Teleg. 16 June 5/1: Of Guiness stout, I always observe that its better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick; and of Allsop’s ale, I invariably remark that it’s better than a stab in the leg with an open razor .
[UK]Barrère & Leland Dict. of Sl., Jargon and Cant I 109/2: Better than a dig in the eye with a blunt stick [...] a thing of little value.
[UK]Hants. Advertiser 9 May 7/6: She is a lovely girl — with fifty thousand pounds, remember; better than a poke in the eye with the dirty end of a sharp stick, eh?
[UK]‘Pot’ & ‘Swears’ Scarlet City 175: The beef is better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick.
[US]Eve. Public Ledger (Philadelphia, PA) 14 Apr. 22/6: We do get a hundred or so out of it and that’s better than a poke in the eye with a bunch of firewood.
[US]Dakota Co. Herald (NE) 14 Apr. 7/3: Well, that’s better than gettin’ poked in the eye with a sharp stick.
[Scot]Dundee Eve. Teleg. 6 Feb. 4/2: Ten shillings a night is better than a poke in the eye with a blunt stick.
[UK]F. Norman in Encounter Nov. in Norman’s London (1969) 56: They thought a jacks was better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick (or words to that effect).
[Aus]B. Humphries Barry McKenzie [comic strip] in Complete Barry McKenzie (1988) 22: It’s not Fosters but it’s better’n a poke in the eye with the proverbial burnt stick.
[US]M. Braly False Starts 197: Five-split’s better’n a poke in the eyes with a sharp stick.
[Aus]R. Beckett Dinkum Aussie Dict. 8: Better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick: Things have turned out better than expected but in a backhanded sort of way.
[Aus]R.G. Barrett Real Thing 32: Better than a poke in the eye with a broken coat hanger.
[Aus]Smith & Noble Neddy (1998) 216: [W]e had only got the overtime payroll. We finished with $100,000 for our troubles. I suppose it was better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.
[US]T. Dorsey Atomic Lobster 1: Yeah, I did [have sex]. Twice. And it was better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.
better than a kick in the ass (with a frozen foot/mukluk) [ass n. (2)] (Can./US)
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[US]E. Shepard Doom Pussy 173: Sounds better than a kick in the ass with a frozen mukluk.
[UK]Partridge DSUE (8th edn) 73/1: The Can. version ... than a kick in the ass with a frozen foot elaborates the more prosaic Brit. ... than a kick in (or on) the pants (or up the arse).
[US]W. Ellis Crooked Little Vein 63: Three hundred’s better than a kick in the ass, right?
better than a slap between the eyes/in the belly with a wet fish (orig. US)
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[UK]S. Lister Mistral Hotel (1951) 215: ‘Well! That’s better than a slap in the belly with a wet fish!’ I observed with satisfaction.
[UK]Wodehouse Much Obliged, Jeeves 137: I don’t know how many of my public have ever been slapped between the eyes with a wet fish, but those who have will appreciate my emotions.