Green’s Dictionary of Slang

1. (mainly juv.) defecation; thus as v. to defecate.

1890–1904		Farmer & Henley Sl. and Its Analogues.
1936		J.T. Farrell World I Never Made 202: She doesn’t like me in here with you when you’re doing number two. [Ibid.] 348: He had done number two in his pants. Nasty!
1948		H. McCoy Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye in Four Novels (1983) 84: If it was Number Two you had to do you had to rush because come hell or high water, you had only five minutes.
1953		S. Beckett Watt (1988) 118: He might have got up, without the bell’s sounding, to do his number one, or number two, in his great big chamber pot.
1962		K. Williams Diaries 6 June 191: Of course she’d been doing her number twos in ’em and I told her she was a dirty bitch & ought to have her face smacked.
1976		P. Conroy Great Santini (1977) 344: ‘He’s going number two,’ Mary Anne said with delicacy.
1988		M. Atwood Cat’s Eye (1989) 230: They’ve rationed the toilet paper [...] Four squares a time, even for Number Two.
1989		M. Walker How to Kiss a Crocodile 57: I was told that it would be about four days before I looked like getting to attempt number twos. When I did try number ones, I strained, grunted and groaned as I hovered over the porcelain bowl.
1992		K. Lette Llama Parlour 92: Well, Jesus, ya know, takin’ the first cra . . . doing number two’s with a lover a round. I mean. That’s a big step.
1999		L. Gould Shagadelically Speaking 31: [He] asks Austin for a courtesy flush after hearing what he presumed to be Austin’s struggle with an altogether different type of Number 2.
2000		W.T. Vollmann Royal Family 448: Oh, my darned dog won’t poop. He’s done number one, but he just won’t do number two.
2001		Guardian G2 29 Mar. 17: Your number twos are also likely to be ‘more loose’.
2011		S. Kelman Pigeon English 97: Number two is another name for a shit.
2015		J. Stahl OG Dad 73: Just pretend you’re on an airplane and you need to Number Two, but all the restrooms are occupied.
2016		A. Wheatle Crongton Knights 8: ‘Tell them to ram their interest where the number two hides’.
2017		T. Spicer Good Girl Stripped Bare 154: ‘Look, Mummy, I did a nice “number two” next to the lounge’.
2024		J. Meades Empty Wigs (t/s) 828: He verbally abused visitors coming back from the toilet. He would be asking them if they’d done a number one or a number two.

2. (W.I.) a large round dumpling [it is indented around its circumference to facilitate splitting it in half, but note sense 1].

1958

cited in Cassidy & LePage Dict. Jam. Eng. (1980).

3. (N.Z. prison) restricted diet number 2, abolished 1981.

1953		I. Hamilton Till Human Voices Wake Us 196: [T]hey began to think they were defending the rights of man when they put recalcitrants on No. 2 ration instead of bread and water.
1992		A. Duff One Night Out Stealing 43: Seven days in the Digger on number two diet [...] dripping to spread on the bread, and porridge for breakfast, soup and bread and dripping spread for lunch, spuds, bread and milk for tea.
2001		D. Looser Boobslang [U. Canterbury D.Phil. thesis] 126/2: number two n. 1 (also number two diet or number two ration) Restricted Diet Number Two (abolished 1 April 1981) .

4. (orig. milit.) second-in-command, second in rank; any subsidiary individual.

1970		Manchester Guardian Weekly 25 Apr. 17: The US as number one super-Power. It just does not pay to be number two.
1999		L. Gould Shagadelically Speaking 34: His eye-patch-wearing second-in-command, Number 2.
2001		N. Barlay Hooky Gear 14: His number 2, Arno, wheezy old dickhead twice his age, play solitaire on a packin crate.
2001		D. Looser Boobslang [U. Canterbury D.Phil. thesis] 126/2: number two n. 2 the sidekick or bum boy of an inmate who controls a prison wing (cf. number one sense 2). 3 the officer second in command to the IC. 4 one’s regular mistress.