Green’s Dictionary of Slang

1. a handkerchief which is attached to the pocket from which it is protruding, so that a pickpocket, however careful, alerts the handkerchief’s owner when an attempt is made to remove it.

1839		H. Brandon Dict. of the Flash or Cant Lang. 163/2: Kidment – a pocket handkerchief, pinned to the pocket with a corner hanging out to entrap thieves.
1857		Snowden Mag. Assistant (3rd edn) 445: A pocket handkerchief pinned to the pocket for a trap – kidment.
1864, 1867, 1870		Hotten Sl. Dict.

2. any inducement to dishonesty or crime.

1854		Bell’s Life in Sydney 5 Aug. 3/1: The majority of these had been led into the committal of the offence by tho artful ‘kidment’ of disguised policemen.
1857		‘Leary Man’ in ‘Ducange Anglicus’ Vulgar Tongue (1857) 43: And always try to be right in, / And every kidment scan.
1865		Leaves from Diary of Celebrated Burglar 38/1: I was anxious to hear how Joe had got [a]long with his ‘kidment’ with Mrs. Rann.
1869		Australiasian (Melbourne) 17 July 8/5: A kidment is a device to entrap .
1884		Daily Tel. 8 Aug. 3/2: Employing them for kidment, of course, [...] That’s what talents is give a man for, hain’t it? [F&H].

3. a fictitious story or any form of statement written with the intent of deception.

1864, 1867, 1870		Hotten Sl. Dict.
1866		Sportsman 23 Oct. 2/1: Notes on News [...] A snarling cynic may say that the children chewing the sheep’s head was a bit what policemen [...] might call ‘kidment’.
1881		Newcastle Courant 25 Nov. 6/5: Stash yer kidment, Bill, my bloke.

4. a begging letter.

1864, 1867, 1870

Hotten Sl. Dict.

5. ‘coarse chaff or jocularity’ (Hotten, 1873).

1873

Sl. Dict.

(Aus.) teasing, mocking.

1914

Sport (Adelaide) 29 May 3/5: Jean R. should not be so kiddish when reading about others in ‘Sport’. It’s others’ turn to laugh now.

the art of teasing or fooling a victim, esp. with the intent of obtaining something from them.

1976

Times 22 Nov. 17: In Britain where the indiscriminate use of the word Château is a popular piece of kidology.

(UK und.) to kidnap.

1686

Proc. Old Bailey 8 Dec. 4/1: [He] said, that he was desired by the said Matthews, to shew him the City, and that he had no hand in his being kidded away.

you can’t be serious, surely you’re joking.

1959		J. Osborne World of Paul Slickey Act I: Are you kidding?
1961		Mersey Beat 5–19 Oct. n.p.: Are you kidding? I’m not all that crazy!
1983		R. Price Breaks 315: His voice was clean and rich [...] eyebrows arched in expressive sincerity, but you have to be kidding.
2000		Indep. Rev. 13 Jan. 1: Are you kidding? Here ...

(orig. US) a phr. implying that the speaker is being absolutely serious.

1956		E. Hunter Second Ending 267: ‘Oh, come on, man, you’re dusting me’ ‘I kid you not.’.
1961		F. Kohner Gidget Goes Hawaiian 25: I kid you not.
1985		B. Humphries Traveller’s Tool 58: You puke purple. I kid you not.
1993		I. Welsh Trainspotting 123: A dead peachy scene that would be, ah kid you not catboy!
1999		Indep. Rev. 16 Aug. 9: I kid you not.
2004		posting at www.phrases.org.uk 28 Jan. 🌐 I KID YOU NOT – Catchphrase used by Jack Paar. Paar, host of the Tonight Show from 1957 to 1962 [...] Even youngsters sent to bed before Mr. Paar came on parroted his jaunty catchphrase, ’I kid you not.’.

1. to tease, esp. with a long and apparently feasible story.

1917		R. Lardner ‘Carmen’ in Gullible’s Travels 29: I thought I’d kid them along.
1941		G. Casey ‘Short Shift Saturday’ in Mann Coast to Coast 207: Lofty was only kidding them along.
1976		J. Heller Good As Gold (1979) 114: I sure get a kick [...] out of the way you guys kid each other along.

2. (also kid up) to deceive, to hoax.

1919		Aussie (France) XIII Apr. 4/1: She used to always leave me about dark, but this night she stopped half an hour longer, and kidded me up a treat. She loved me because I was an homme honnête.
1920		R.J. Fry Salvation of Jemmy Sl. I ii: Why don’t ya try and make up to ’em. Kid ’em along an’ get the coin.
1932		E.S. Gardner ‘Bird in the Hand’ in Goulart (1967) 272: He’s just got that canary to kid us along. He wants to sidetrack us.
1940		W.R. Burnett High Sierra in Four Novels (1984) 332: You couldn’t get a pound off of them with sandpaper, but we kid ’em along.
1956		‘Charles Raven’ Und. Nights 97: Rex kidded Silver along.
1960		Wodehouse Jeeves in the Offing 102: Girls of high and haughty spirits need kidding along.

1. to encourage someone else to do something.

1839		H. Brandon Dict. of the Flash or Cant Lang. 163/2: Kidding on – to entice one on.
1857		‘Ducange Anglicus’ Vulgar Tongue.
1861		(con. 1840s–50s) H. Mayhew London Labour and London Poor I 416/2: There they met with beggars who kiddied them on to the lurk.
1870		Hotten Sl. Dict.
1881		Newcastle Courant 25 Nov. 6/5: I’ve knowed those as were good-uns need a little kidding on at times .
1882		Sydney Sl. Dict. 9/2: Kino, the macing cove, kidded on a dollymop where the bloak’s got a swag of sheen. Kino’s cocum, and he’s stagging to crack the crib. Kino, the housebreaker, enticed a servant-girl (to keep his company) where the master has a quantity of plate. Kino’s wary, and he is watching to break into the house.

2. to tease, to deceive.

1860		Hotten Dict. of Modern Sl. etc. (2nd edn).
1861		(con. 1840s–50s) H. Mayhew London Labour and London Poor I 425/1: He kids them on by promising three times more than the things are worth. This is a grand racket.
1888		J.Runciman Chequers 186: I was kiddin’ him on [F&H].
1956		J. Curtis Look Long Upon a Monkey 172: What a cracker and didn’t she like it and all? Wasn’t one of them to kid on she didn’t.
1999		Scotland on Sunday Mag. 7 Nov. 19: I kid on this doesn’t bother me but it kills me.
2005		B. Hare Urban Grimshaw 68: The government tried to kid on that we lived in a harmonious multi-cultural society.

3. (Aus. und.) to imprison.

1881

Sydney Punch 1 Oct. 7/2: ‘[H]e’d just come out of the Jug - been kidded on for snatching sawney for grub, and got three stretch’.

4. see sense 1 above.

to delude oneself.

1890		Sporting Times 3 May 1/3: He utilised his winnings as groundbait for flats who were fly enough to kid themselves that they could clean him out and leave him granite-rocked at banker, shove-halfpenny, and penny nap.
1915		C.J. Dennis ‘The Intro’ in Songs of a Sentimental Bloke 19: Yes, me, that kids meself I know their ways, / An’ ’as a name for smoogin’ in our click!
1920		F. Packard White Moll 19: Don’t kid yerself dat youse’re kiddin’ me into givin’ it to youse because youse have got a pretty smile an’ a sweet voice!
1931		D. Runyon ‘Breach of Promise’ in Runyon on Broadway (1954) 24: She either is not as smart as she looks or is kidding herself.
1942		R. Chandler High Window 90: ‘Must take a good man to run them fast babies.’ ‘Don’t kid yourself, dad.’.
1963		H.S. Thompson letter 14 Oct. in Proud Highway (1997) 405: We no longer even kid ourselves about being the bearers of a great and decent dream.
1973		(con. 1930s) F. Huelin ‘Keep Moving’ 2: My self-appointed mentor brushed this aside derisively. ‘Don’t kid yourself about that, mate.’.

to tease mercilessly.

1937		D. Fuchs Low Company 9: B’gee, if a dame said that to me, I’d kid the pants off her.
1940		E. O’Neill Iceman Cometh Act I: We’ll kid the pants off him.
1947		S. Lewis Kingsblood Royal (2001) 236: I meant to kid the pants off you, Cap, but you’re all right.
1951		J.D. Salinger Catcher in the Rye (1958) 82–3: I really like it best when you can kid the pants off a girl when the opportunity arises.

1. (US) used interrog. or emphatically, i.e. ‘Are you serious?’ or ‘I’m absolutely serious’.

1864		Derby Day 48: Something’s upset you, Littl’un [...] what’s the fakement. Let’s have it straightforward, and no kid.
1878		J. Hatton Cruel London III 167: Honour bright, no kid, as we say in London.
1886		Sporting Times 30 Jan. 6/1: ‘Your ’Umble is cheap to-day, and no kid, all owing to a little party which I gave last night’.
1894		A. Morrison Tales of Mean Streets (1983) 34: ‘Straight,’ said Billy, ‘I’ll sport ye one. . . . No kid, I will.’.
1900		Marvel XIV:343 June 15: No kid, the kick-up at Blinkers was tall.
1912		E. Pugh City Of The World 269: I’ve known fair topping daddies at the plant – no kid!
1913		Sport (Adelaide) 5 July 9/1: B.C., the famous racing tipster [...] will have some red hotties for [the] next meeting. Watch him noys, and no kid.
1921		Sun. Times (Perth) 21 Jan. 13/3: he was a fair dinkum John and no kid.
1921		N. Putnam West Broadway 98: It come to me how well we was eating, and — no kidding — we could seldom eat over half a dollar’s worth.
1922		Joyce Ulysses 404: Fine! Got a prime pair of mincepies, no kid.
1922		S. Lewis Babbitt (1974) 34: Honest! No kidding!
1934		H. Roth Call It Sleep (1977) 430: ‘He’s awright! He’s awright!’ ‘Yeah?’ ‘Yeah! No kiddin! No kiddin!’.
1935		S. Kingsley Dead End Act III: No kid!
1941		G. Kersh They Die with Their Boots Clean 122: No kiddin’, Sarnt? Don’t yer know?
1946		Mezzrow & Wolfe Really the Blues 25: No kidding, Milton, do you like this music?
1951		J.D. Salinger Catcher in the Rye (1958) 34: Give her to me, boy. No kidding. She’s my type.
1963		in T.I. Rubin Sweet Daddy 130: But what the hell, forty isn’t old. No kid.
1968		N. Heard Howard Street 64: ‘No goddam kiddin!’ Jimmy snapped at him.
1972		P. Fordham Inside the Und. 29: I could have done ’er and no kidding.
1982		P. Theroux London Embassy 84: Hey, I had a good time [...] No kidding.
1997		C. Hiaasen Lucky You 120: ‘No kidding?’ ‘Don’t look so shocked.’.
1998		M. Newall ‘Sir Gawayne and the Grene Knight’ in Indep. Weekend Rev. 26 Dec. 1: No kyddinge, this was a honey-monstre.
2000		C. Cook Robbers (2001) 11: Yeah? Brake fluid? No kidding. Beth says ice.

2. used as adj. genuine, unarguable.

2020

D. Winslow ‘Sunset’ in Broken 183: A maid, in an honest-to-God, no-kidding maid’s uniform.

see are you kidding?