toilet, n. — Green’s Dictionary of Slang

toilet n.

1. (US) the buttocks, as in phr. kick one’s toilet around the block, to be angry with oneself.

1934–7

J.T. Farrell ‘Children of the Times’ in Short Stories (1937) 89: ‘Say, I could slap my can all the way around the block,’ Morton said. [Ibid.] 91: I just shouldn’t kick my toilet around the block.

2. (also toilet hound, ...paper) an incompetent, undesirable person or thing.

1908		D.G. Phillips Susan Lenox II 126: She had always avoided looking like Broadway. Now, she would take the opposite tack. Not loud toilets — for they would defeat her purpose. Not loud — just common.
a.1934		‘Bonnie Parker in “Amputated”’ [comic strip] in B. Adelman Tijuana Bibles (1997) 115: What a toilet I’m turning out to be.
1947		R. Goffin Horn of Plenty 242: Just look at that ol’ yellow toilet he’s ridin’ his sweetie in!
1967		M. Frayn Towards the End of Morning (2000) 9: If this was the Express, and not just a load of toilet paper, I’d have fired you.
1968		K. Brasselle Cannibals 85: Chester is a toilet, a real true rat.
1984		S. King Thinner (1986) 242: I call you a whore [...] your father an asshole-licking toilet hound.
2001		D. Looser Boobslang [U. Canterbury D.Phil. thesis] 190/2: toilet paper n. an informer, a nark [from the idea that the inmate is an ‘arsewipe’].

3. (US) of a woman, a good figure.

1950

J.T. Farrell ‘Milly and the Porker’ in Amer. Dream Girl (1950) 195: Fellows, a girl with a toilet like Milly’s could sneeze right down my lungs whenever she damned well wanted to. Say, listen, if you ask me, why, even the sweat off the feet of a girl like that is perfume.

4. (orig. US) anywhere considered disgusting, esp. (show business) a third-rate venue.

1961		H. Ellison Rockabilly (1963) 175: I’ve been workin’ the toilets for about eight months now.
1975		A. Goldman Lenny Bruce 20: If you could follow me around in hotels – even fuckin’ toilets like this – I’m always writing notes.
1981		W. Boyd ‘My Girl in Skin-Tight Jeans’ in On the Yankee Station (1982) 91: The place was a real toilet.
1989		M. Amis London Fields 244: ‘We’ll move out of London.’ ‘Oh yeah? Where to, Guy? The moon? Haven’t you heard? Everywhere’s a toilet.’.
2000		M. Manning Get Your Cock Out 102: They ran onto the small stage of the shitty Charing Cross toilet.
2015		I. Welsh Decent Ride 393: You’ve no been in here for a while, stranger [...] As if ah’m bothered aboot this fuckin mingin toilet.

5. a position of complete failure.

1967		L. Bruce Essential Lenny Bruce 104: Alright, into the toilet. Nothing. Into the shithouse.
1987		N.Y. Times 18 Dec. n.p.: Without Hart in the equation, Simon will do well against Michael Dukakis in New Hampshire. With Hart in the race, Simon is in the toilet [R].
1994		N. McCall Makes Me Wanna Holler (1995) 166: Malcolm X [...] could pull his life out of the toilet.

6. (US gay) the anus.

1972

B. Rodgers Queens’ Vernacular.

7. (US drugs) anywhere used by narcotics addicts for consuming a given drug.

2010

Codella and Bennett Alphaville (2011) 153: An abandoned building lobby being used as a ‘toilet’ or a designated spot to shoot up indoors.

SE in slang uses

In compounds

toilet hound (n.)

see sense 2 above.

toilet-mouth (adj.)

one who notably uses obscene language, thus toilet-mouthed, foul-mouthed.

1970		San Antonio Express (TX) 31 Dec. 18/1: Harry Toilet Mouth [...] he has the foulest mouth in the joint.
1989		Fort Worth Star-Telegram (TX) 31 Dec. section 7 9/4: In thisa fictional memoir, he becomes the first toilet-mouth president.
1991		Sacramento Bee (CA) 5 July 109/4: Mel Brooks [...] takes the idea of having a ‘toilet mouth’ to extremes.
2000		T. Udo Vatican Bloodbath 37: ‘Hey, there, boy,’ the toilet-mouthed Yank leered at the blonde 10 year old.

toilet paper (n.)

see sense 2 above.

toilet talk (n.) (also toilet humour)

obscenities, coarse language.

1960		L. Mortimer Women Confidential 136: The talking women, who have more range, but stay down on a level with their audiences, which seem to want four-letter words and blunt toilet-talk.
1963–74		B. Humphries Barry McKenzie [comic strip] in Complete Barry McKenzie (1988) 57: What’s all this toilet talk in front of Cheryl and Mitz?
[1987		R. Campbell Alice in La-La Land (1999) 32: Millie knew that Twelvetrees would talk toilets to Queen Elizabeth [...] if he thought it would get a laugh].
1999		T. Parker South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut [film script] Parents, our children are out of control! This is what happens when toilet humour is allowed to run rampant!

toilet tongue (n.)

someone who uses obscene language.

1975		L. Dills CB Slanguage 112: Toilet Tongue: one who uses profane or obscene language.
2004		E. Owen This Is Your Captain Speaking [ebook] The more of the two then launched into a stream of particularly foul invectives. For my personal account, the barrage from Mr. Toilet Tongue could have been easily ignored even though I was embarrassed knowing he was a fellow American in a foreign country.
2010		B.G. Yung Half Fast Hunter 95: He apparently cannot control his toilet tongue regardless of the immediate environment. I was greeted with a rousing four-letter welcome.

toilet wine (n.)

(US prison) illicit alcohol; the containers are often hidden in a cell toilet while the ingredients ferment.

2021

S.A. Crosby Razorblade Tears 168: ‘When you was drinking Cristal I was drinking toilet wine’.

In phrases

go down the toilet (v.) (also go down the sewer, …the toilet bowl)

to collapse, to end in failure.

1967		P. Thomas Down These Mean Streets (1970) 259: Every day brought a painful awareness of the sweetness of being free and the horror of prison’s years going down the toilet bowl.
1978		L. Kramer Faggots 281: This stinker, loser, bomb, meant twenty-three million dollars of P-P’s money down the toilet.
1981		H. Gould Fort Apache, The Bronx 101: You goin’ right down the sewer, ain’t you.
1987		‘Joe Bob Briggs’ Joe Bob Goes to the Drive-In 123: When it [i.e. a film] went down the toilet, he took it back, put a different title on it, and sent it back out.
1993		A. Rodriguez Spidertown (1994) 117: An’ then they [i.e. the police] be hangin’ all over the halls an’ shit, an’ damn, there went my rush, down the fucken toilet.
2005		J. Stahl I, Fatty 266: As the economy tanked, he saw his deals go down the toilet.
2023		A. Nette Orphan Road 42: ‘If I don’t get it, everything I’ve worked for is going down the toilet’.

go into the toilet (v.) (also go into the sewer)

(US) to fail, usu. in show business context.

1967		L. Bruce Essential Lenny Bruce 223: I went to the Strand in New York [...] I went right into the toilet.
1973		L. Bangs in Psychotic Reactions (1988) 138: The poor fellow believed his own publicity [...] and he went into the sewer.
2002		(con. 1998–2000) J. Lerner You Got Nothing Coming 349: Things are just going straight into the toilet — financially I don’t know what the fuck is —.