Green’s Dictionary of Slang

fuck me! excl.

1. (also feather me!) an excl. of surprise, astonishment, resignation; often in combs., e.g. fuck me rigid! fuck me insensible! and see also below.

[UK](con. WW1) P. MacDonald Patrol 82: ‘You says, Sawgint, as ’ow you want suggestions . . . But — me ’f there’ anythin’ to suggest’.
[UK]W. Talsman Gaudy Image (1966) 197: ‘Well, fuck me double,’ Denis screamed, ‘if it isn’t Aphrodite Schultz in person.’.
[Aus]‘Nino Culotta’ Cop This Lot 68: Joe looked astonished. ‘Feather me!’.
[UK]G. Melly Owning Up (1974) 69: Fuck me [ ...] just my luck. Hit over the head because a girl who doesn’t even fancy me kisses me when she’s pissed.
[UK] ‘In The Melting Pot’ in P. Ashton et al. Our Lives (1982) 166: I went down to open the door and F--- me, glory be, where on earth does such good-looking black boys come from?
[UK] in G. Tremlett Little Legs 93: I gave it a whack [...] and, fuck me, it comes back.
[UK]Observer Mag. 1 Aug. 31: ‘Fuck me,’ I thought ‘that’s Ginsberg!!!’.
[UK]N. Griffiths Grits 134: We get up te goan find im an fuck me ut’s difficult te stand.
P. Kiver 192 Days in Iraq 76: Fuck me running!
[UK]Eve. Standard 18 May 17/2: ‘**** me,’ he declared ‘She looks amazing.’.
[Aus](con. 1943) G.S. Manson Coorparoo Blues [ebook] ‘Fuck me backwards, old chap. How are you?’.
[Aus]C. Hammer Silver [ebook] ‘Jasper?’ exclaims Nick Poulos. ‘Fuck me’ [ibid.] ‘Fuck me rudderless’.
[US]D. Swierczynski California Bear 143: One more flip [through a file], however, and the Bear muttered, ‘Fuck me’.

2. (US campus) an excl. of annoyance, of contempt; shut up! go away! you make me sick!

[UK]A. Higgins ‘Sodden Fields’ in Helsingør Station and Other Departures 61: ‘Ah no,’ groaned Paddy, ‘fuck me, no.’.
[US]P. Munro Sl. U. 85: Fuck me! Damn! Shut up!
[UK]J. Cameron It Was An Accident 9: Fuck me George.
[US]S. King Dreamcatcher 8: Oh fuck, fuck me Freddy, someone make him stop crying.
[US]S. King Finders Keepers (2016) 282: Fuck me, I blew it.

In exclamations

fuck me backwards!

a general excl.

[UK]Viz Oct./Nov. 3: Well fuck me backwards! You live and learn.
fuck me dead!

(Aus./N.Z./US) used in a variety of exuberant excls.

[US]E. Shepard Doom Pussy 14: Fuck Me Dead. We zapped ’em.
[Aus]Bulletin (Sydney) 26 Apr. 46: Fuck me dead if Punchy didn’t balk with a molly and came in under with a rip to the comics that fucking near tore him in half.
[Aus]R.G. Barrett Mud Crab Boogie (2013) [ebook] ‘Fuck me dead,’ gasped Les. That’s all I bloody need.
[UK]B. Robinson Peculiar Memories of Thomas Penman 65: ‘Fuck me dead,’ said Maurice.
[NZ]McGill Reed Dict. of N.Z. Sl. 82: fuck me dead said Foreskin Fred as he waved his wooden leg! Exuberant exclamation with no literal connotations. fuck me dead with a bargepole! Another exclamation of surprise and positively no intention of being taken literally.
[Aus]P. Carey Theft 228: You can get in trouble [...] fuck me dead.
fuck me gently!

a general excl. of surprise, alarm etc.

[UK]G. Kersh Fowlers End (2001) 100: Well, Gawd stuff me gently!
[UK]Partridge DSUE (8th edn) 432/2: since ca. 1910.
[Ire]J. Healy Grass Arena (1990) 100: ‘Hope you’re not scared of heights [...] Because you’ve got to climb on the roof.’ ‘Fuck me gently.’.
[UK]J. Cameron It Was An Accident 146: I went what passed for ballistic round then for me, I made a little smile and went ‘fuck me gently’.
R. Harrison Wanted and the Unwanted 113: ‘Fuck me gently,’ said Grant. Maxine had been shopping all right.
fuck me gently with a chainsaw!

a general expression of surprise or annoyance.

[US]D. Waters Heathers [film script] Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Theresa?
[US]Eble Campus Sl. Apr. 4: fuck me gently with a chainsaw – exclamation of surprise or delight.
fuck me hard! (also fuck me harder!)

(US) an expression used in response to an unwelcome attack on the speaker (whether verbal or physical).

[US]P. Munro Sl. U.
[US]Alt. Eng. Dict. 🌐 fuck me harder (sentence, idiom) Expression in response to an unwanted and undesirable action done to the speaker.
fuck me ragged!

a general excl.

[UK]Viz June/July 42: £8.95! Fuck me ragged!
fuck me sideways!

a general excl., also used non-reflexively.

[US](con. 1949) J.G. Dunne True Confessions (1979) 79: ‘Egg rolls,’ Woodrow Wong said. ‘Go fuck somebody sideways,’ Crotty said.
[NZ]McGill Reed Dict. of N.Z. Sl. 82: fuck me sideways! Exclamation, often attracting the response, not while there’s cats.
[Ire]P. Howard PS, I Scored the Bridesmaids 68: FOCK ME SIDEWAYS – everyones there.
[Aus]me-stepmums-too-fuckin-hot-mate at 🌐 Fuck me sideways! I’m blowin’ a load in Kasumi’s cakehole!
[Can]S. Hubbard in capable [ebook] Fuyck him. Fuck him sideways with a bent spoon.
[US]C. Kyle Claimed by the Bear [ebook] Please don’t ask me who. Please don’t ask me—‘Who?’ Fuck him sideways.
[UK]M. Herron Secret Hours 235: ‘Fuck me sideways,’ Miles put in, his tone more than usually disgruntled.
[US](con. 1962) J. Ellroy Enchanters 75: Peter Lawford owns [a car] just like it. Fuck him sideways.
fuck me without a kiss!

(Aus.) a general excl.

[Aus]P. Papathanasiou Stoning 33: ‘Well fuck me without a kiss [...] “You must be the city mouse’.