Green’s Dictionary of Slang

fuck me! excl.

1. (also feather me!) an excl. of surprise, astonishment, resignation; often in combs., e.g. fuck me rigid! fuck me insensible! and see also below.

1927
1930194019501960197019801990200020102020
2024
[UK](con. WW1) P. MacDonald Patrol 82: ‘You says, Sawgint, as ’ow you want suggestions . . . But — me ’f there’ anythin’ to suggest’.
[UK]W. Talsman Gaudy Image (1966) 197: ‘Well, fuck me double,’ Denis screamed, ‘if it isn’t Aphrodite Schultz in person.’.
[Aus]‘Nino Culotta’ Cop This Lot 68: Joe looked astonished. ‘Feather me!’.
[UK]G. Melly Owning Up (1974) 69: Fuck me [ ...] just my luck. Hit over the head because a girl who doesn’t even fancy me kisses me when she’s pissed.
[UK] ‘In The Melting Pot’ in P. Ashton et al. Our Lives (1982) 166: I went down to open the door and F--- me, glory be, where on earth does such good-looking black boys come from?
[UK] in G. Tremlett Little Legs 93: I gave it a whack [...] and, fuck me, it comes back.
[UK]Observer Mag. 1 Aug. 31: ‘Fuck me,’ I thought ‘that’s Ginsberg!!!’.
[UK]N. Griffiths Grits 134: We get up te goan find im an fuck me ut’s difficult te stand.
A. Swofford Jarhead 28: ‘Fuck me standing! My mother lives in Olympia. She don’t piss her pants’.
P. Kiver 192 Days in Iraq 76: Fuck me running!
[UK]Eve. Standard 18 May 17/2: ‘**** me,’ he declared ‘She looks amazing.’.
[Aus](con. 1943) G.S. Manson Coorparoo Blues [ebook] ‘Fuck me backwards, old chap. How are you?’.
[Aus]C. Hammer Silver [ebook] ‘Jasper?’ exclaims Nick Poulos. ‘Fuck me’ [ibid.] ‘Fuck me rudderless’.
[US]D. Swierczynski California Bear 143: One more flip [through a file], however, and the Bear muttered, ‘Fuck me’.

2. (US campus) an excl. of annoyance, of contempt; shut up! go away! you make me sick!

1989
199020002010
2015
[UK]A. Higgins ‘Sodden Fields’ in Helsingør Station and Other Departures 61: ‘Ah no,’ groaned Paddy, ‘fuck me, no.’.
[US]P. Munro Sl. U. 85: Fuck me! Damn! Shut up!
[UK]J. Cameron It Was An Accident 9: Fuck me George.
[US]S. King Dreamcatcher 8: Oh fuck, fuck me Freddy, someone make him stop crying.
[US]S. King Finders Keepers (2016) 282: Fuck me, I blew it.

In exclamations

fuck me backwards!

a general excl.

[UK]Viz Oct./Nov. 3: Well fuck me backwards! You live and learn.
fuck me dead!

(Aus./N.Z./US) used in a variety of exuberant excls.

1967
1970198019902000
2006
[US]E. Shepard Doom Pussy 14: Fuck Me Dead. We zapped ’em.
[Aus]Bulletin (Sydney) 26 Apr. 46: Fuck me dead if Punchy didn’t balk with a molly and came in under with a rip to the comics that fucking near tore him in half.
[Aus]P. Radley My Blue-Checker Corker 29: ‘Fuck me dead! Wonder we can’t hear the racket from here’.
[Aus]R.G. Barrett Mud Crab Boogie (2013) [ebook] ‘Fuck me dead,’ gasped Les. That’s all I bloody need.
[UK]B. Robinson Peculiar Memories of Thomas Penman 65: ‘Fuck me dead,’ said Maurice.
[NZ]McGill Reed Dict. of N.Z. Sl. 82: fuck me dead said Foreskin Fred as he waved his wooden leg! Exuberant exclamation with no literal connotations. fuck me dead with a bargepole! Another exclamation of surprise and positively no intention of being taken literally.
[Aus]P. Carey Theft 228: You can get in trouble [...] fuck me dead.
fuck me gently!

a general excl. of surprise, alarm etc.

1957
19601970198019902000
2005
[UK]G. Kersh Fowlers End (2001) 100: Well, Gawd stuff me gently!
[UK]Partridge DSUE (8th edn) 432/2: since ca. 1910.
[Ire]J. Healy Grass Arena (1990) 100: ‘Hope you’re not scared of heights [...] Because you’ve got to climb on the roof.’ ‘Fuck me gently.’.
[UK]J. Cameron It Was An Accident 146: I went what passed for ballistic round then for me, I made a little smile and went ‘fuck me gently’.
R. Harrison Wanted and the Unwanted 113: ‘Fuck me gently,’ said Grant. Maxine had been shopping all right.
fuck me gently with a chainsaw!

a general expression of surprise or annoyance.

1989
198919901991
1992
[US]D. Waters Heathers [film script] Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Theresa?
[US]Eble Campus Sl. Apr. 4: fuck me gently with a chainsaw – exclamation of surprise or delight.
fuck me hard! (also fuck me harder!)

(US) an expression used in response to an unwelcome attack on the speaker (whether verbal or physical).

1989
199019952000
a.2002
[US]P. Munro Sl. U.
[US]Alt. Eng. Dict. 🌐 fuck me harder (sentence, idiom) Expression in response to an unwanted and undesirable action done to the speaker.
fuck me ragged!

a general excl.

[UK]Viz June/July 42: £8.95! Fuck me ragged!
fuck me sideways!

a general excl., also used non-reflexively.

1977
19801990200020102020
2023
[US](con. 1949) J.G. Dunne True Confessions (1979) 79: ‘Egg rolls,’ Woodrow Wong said. ‘Go fuck somebody sideways,’ Crotty said.
[NZ]McGill Reed Dict. of N.Z. Sl. 82: fuck me sideways! Exclamation, often attracting the response, not while there’s cats.
[Ire]P. Howard PS, I Scored the Bridesmaids 68: FOCK ME SIDEWAYS – everyones there.
[Aus]me-stepmums-too-fuckin-hot-mate at www.fakku.net 🌐 Fuck me sideways! I’m blowin’ a load in Kasumi’s cakehole!
[Can]S. Hubbard in capable [ebook] Fuyck him. Fuck him sideways with a bent spoon.
[US]C. Kyle Claimed by the Bear [ebook] Please don’t ask me who. Please don’t ask me—‘Who?’ Fuck him sideways.
[UK]M. Herron Secret Hours 235: ‘Fuck me sideways,’ Miles put in, his tone more than usually disgruntled.
[US](con. 1962) J. Ellroy Enchanters 75: Peter Lawford owns [a car] just like it. Fuck him sideways.
fuck me without a kiss!

(Aus.) a general excl.

[Aus]P. Papathanasiou Stoning 33: ‘Well fuck me without a kiss [...] “You must be the city mouse’.