Green’s Dictionary of Slang

twat n.

[? dial. twitchel, a narrow passage]

1. (also twat-hole, twatt, twattle, twit-twat, twoit, twot, twotch) the vagina; in pl., the labia [twit-twat is lit. abbr. SE twittle-twattle, idle talk].

[UK]R. Fletcher trans. Martiall his Epigrams XI No. 44 103: Caught with my Boyes, at me my wife the Froe Scolds, and cryes out she hath an ars-hole too [...] Give not male names then to such things as thine, But think thou hast two Twats o wife of mine.
[UK]Wandring Whore II 12: As W— the Butchers son in the Stocks did Honor Brooks the rammish Scotch whore at D— between her Legs, not forgetting that Ursula had half a crown for showing her Twit-twat there, and half a crown for stroaking the marrow out of a mans Gristle.
[UK] ‘Ballad on Sir Robert Peyton’ in Lord Poems on Affairs of State (1965) II 309: ’Twas not Estcourt the sot, / That knew all the plot, / And could only discover his mother’s lewd tw-t.
[UK]School of Venus (2004) 11: Katy. What call you the Wenches Thing? Frank. In plain English, it is called a Cunt, though they out of an affected modesty [...] call it a Twot and Twenty such kind of Names.
[UK] ‘Anniversary’ Cabinet of Love (1739) 231: Each salacious itching Twatt and Arse Pleads Non-Resistance to the Royal Tarse.
[UK] ‘By Cleveland’ in Playford Pills to Purge Melancholy II 324: Teeth yellow as Box, / Half out with the Pox [...] Her Twattle does run / As swift as the Sun.
[UK]N. Ward ‘The Revels of the Gods’ Writings (1704) 99: I know by your Smiles, Leering looks, and your Winks, / And your Items and Jeers, you’d Insinuate it Stinks: / Dispraising the nectar, well knowing you meant, / That a health to my Tw—t gave the Juice an Ill-Scent.
[UK] in D’Urfey Pills to Purge Melancholy III 307: I took her by the lilly white Hand, / And by the Twat I caught her, / I swear and vow, and tell you true, / She piss’d in my Hand with Laughter.
[UK] in Bailey Universal Etym. Eng. Dict. n.p.: twat. Pudendum muliebre.
[UK]Grose Classical Dict. of the Vulgar Tongue ms. additions n.p.: Tuzzy-Muzzy Mater omnium Sanctorum. Twat The same.
[UK] ‘Sam Swipes’ Cuckold’s Nest 20: There was lanky and short, tall, chubby, and fat, / Who were all red hot for a slap at her ---.
[UK] parody in Rakish Rhymer (1917) 131: She’s a pretty twot and big fat bottom.
[UK]E. Sellon Phoebe Kissagen 51: A girl with nice clear skin, pretty plump, and not much hair on her twat.
[UK] ‘The Queen & Louise’ in Bold (1979) 190: With a hand on her twat she said, ‘Just look at that — / It was made for the Marquis of Lorne.’.
[UK]‘Walter’ My Secret Life (1966) IX 1908: Then she squatted and bathed her cunt, in doing which she luckily faced me and I saw her twats fairly well and the hair on her motte.
[UK]Farmer & Henley Sl. and Its Analogues.
[US]E. Field ‘A French Crisis’ Facetiae Americana 21: This prick had mown a swath of twats of every size and age.
[US]‘J.M. Hall’ Anecdota Americana II 75: [He] rubbed some of the fluid on her arms, then some on her breasts and lastly a generous amount on her twotch. [Ibid.] 109: This twotch titillator / Is much in demand.
[US]H. Miller Tropic of Capricorn (1964) 164: He shoved a big long carrot up her twat.
[UK] M. Page ‘Lagos Lagoon’ Kiss Me Goodnight, Sgt.-Major (1973) 55: One night they went out to the native hot spots, / Pinching black udders and feeling black twats.
[Aus]‘Old Mother Murphy’ in Mess Songs & Rhymes of the RAAF 31: She can balance two pennies on the ends of her dairies, / Do a double somersault and catch them in her twot.
[US]H. Miller Sexus (1969) 232: Poking this thing in and out of her twat in absent-minded glee.
[Ire]J.P. Donleavy Ginger Man (1958) 71: Lady Gawk tickling her twat with a Chinese fan.
[US]R. Gover One Hundred Dollar Misunderstanding 23: He jes standin there wiff his fay face all wrinkle up like a gran-mothah twoit.
[Aus](con. WWII) E. Lambert Long White Night 80: ‘Where are you off to?’ ‘Where do you think? Get a bit of twot.’.
[US]N. Heard Howard Street 171: Some dumb, religion-soaked bitch who was saving her dry little twat for Jesus.
[UK]B. Naughton Alfie Darling 195: The worst thing that could happen to me would be that I’d get laid out before I got my bit of twot.
[US]E. Thompson Caldo Largo (1980) 246: I pinched her twat and she squealed.
[US]T. Philbin Under Cover 264: Next time I search your dump I will find the H. You know where? Up your wife’s twat!
[US]‘Bill E. Goodhead’ Nubile Treat [Internet] Ned had let up for a moment on the probing of her twat-hole with his tongue, and instead was slurping away on her labia like a cat licking cream.
[UK]N. Palmer ‘Vegan Reich’ in Home Suspect Device 29: Teri exposed her funky twat to Tina.
M.E. Dassad ‘Chickenhawk’ at www.cultdeadcow.com [Internet] No doubt remembering her uncle’s bone pistoning in and out of her tight young twat while his friend’s meat ravaged her wet, gaping mouth, choking off her air passage.
[US]Simon & Burns ‘A Burning Dog’ Generation Kill ep. 5 [TV script] It’s a picture of a reporter’s girlfriend, not of J-Lo’s cum-dripping twat.
[Aus]L. Redhead Thrill City [ebook] Girls working hot had shoved in and pulled out anything that would fit up their twats.
[US]D. Winslow The Force [ebook] ‘Where’s the wire?’ ‘Up your mother’s twat’.

2. (also twot, twotface) a derog. term for a woman.

[US](con. 1900s) C. McKay Banana Bottom 143: Jes’ a twat like any udder in de fox grass wid all har preening and primping an’ fanning har ’long de road like a high lady.
[US](con. 1944) N. Mailer Naked and Dead 290: Models, actresses, good-lookin’ twots.
[US]T.I. Rubin Sweet Daddy 83: That lousy bitched up broad, that finking god-damned twat. [...] My mother.
[UK]B. Naughton Alfie Darling 199: Good old Twotface.
[UK]D. Gram Foxes (1980) 129: I mean, at least she wasn’t some stuck up twat.
[US](con. 1966) P. Conroy Lords of Discipline 218: I’m farting like a motherfucking bastard, Theresa, you flapping twat.
[US]R. Campbell In La-La Land We Trust (1999) 28: Plenty of twat around.
[US]C. Hiaasen Lucky You 185: Greedy freeloading twat.
[US]J. Stahl Plainclothes Naked (2002) 168: We oughta call that Tina twat.
[US]C. Hiaasen Star Island (2011) 11: I will get a picture of that crazy twat in all her dysfunctional glory.
[UK]Eve. Standard (London) 31 July 8/5: She called [her] a ‘slutbag’, a ‘tw*t’ and ‘c**t’.

3. (also twatt, twot) a term of abuse, irrespective of gender.

[UK]‘J.H. Ross’ Mint (1955) 121: The silly twat didn’t know if his arse-hole was bored, punched, drilled, or countersunk.
[UK](con. 1916) F. Manning Her Privates We (1986) 208: They let a bloody twat like ’im off.
[UK]M. Page ‘The Twats In The Ops Room’ Kiss Me Goodnight, Sgt.-Major (1973) 114: What we do object to are those fucking Ops Room twats.
[UK]J. Maclaren-Ross Of Love and Hunger 114: Watch out for him, he’ll do the dirty on you if he can, the slimy twatt.
[Ire](con. 1940s) B. Behan Borstal Boy 168: No, you silly twot.
[UK]C. MacInnes Absolute Beginners 206: I love you, Hoplite [...] but I really must tell you some day that you’re a t—t.
[UK]C. Wood ‘Prisoner & Escort’ Cockade (1965) I i: Queen’s Rules and Regulations do not protect you. Not twats like you.
[UK]K. Williams Diaries 3 Jan. 205: Said the dialogue was so fast he felt he was ‘missing some pearls.’ [...] This certainly isn’t true, but even if it were they’d have been cast before swine with this twot present.
[UK]D. Gram Foxes (1980) 38: ‘Asshole Fuckdog Honky Cunt!’ shrieked the dude at her back. ‘Twat!’.
[UK]A. Sayle Train to Hell 20: They are such twats that nobody will go with them.
[US]S. Morgan Homeboy 253: A hightone twat from Tucson who was weekends at the Ritz.
[Aus]P. Temple Bad Debts (2012) [ebook] He’d dob anyone, every little twat he heard big-noting himself in a pub.
[Ire]J. O’Connor Salesman 251: A fat stupid gormless twat. A fuckin’ loser. Look at yerself, man.
[UK]Guardian 25 Aug. [Internet] The bizzies are twats. I’ve slashed their tyres twice. It’s funny.
[Aus]P. Temple Truth 82: The twat says we fitted the little Quirk bastard.
[UK]Internat. Independent 19 July 46/3: I have to admit I was a horrible twat.
[Aus] G. Johnstone ‘No Through Road’ in Crime Factory: Hard Labour [ebook] Your ex-wife is knocking boots with a gawky finance twat.

4. attrib. use of sense 3.

[US]W.T. Vollmann Royal Family 320: Stupid twat name she tells me.
[UK]Guardian G2 30 Sept. 5/3: Oh, my God, that is a twat thing to say .

5. (US) the buttocks.

[US]L. Uris Battle Cry (1964) 388: We sat on our twats on Bairiki.
[US]J. Lansdale Rumble Tumble 68: The rest of her had on a red G-string that was mostly up her twat.

6. (US gay) the anus.

[US]B. Rodgers Queens’ Vernacular.

7. something unpleasant, second-rate.

[US]S. King Christine 143: The sound of men working on cars and hollering profanity at the rolling iron [...] always female in gender: come offa there, you bitch, come loose, you cunt, come on over here, Rick, and help me get this twat off.
[UK]K. Sampson Outlaws (ms.) 134: She is fucking fine at that particular twat of a job.

8. (US black) used as a deliberately coarse substitute for SE what?

[US]Ebonics Primer at www.dolemite.com ) twat Definition: [...] 2. by pronunciation you can exagerate the ‘wat’ and shorten the ‘t’ and give it the sound of ‘what’ Example: Teacher: Rob, were you listening to what I was saying? Rob: Twat did you say to me????

9. a neutral term for a person.

[UK]Indep. Rev. 4 Mar. 8: He’s just described the character as ‘a kind of surly twat.’.
[UK]N. Griffiths Grits 60: Every twat chips in like, no fucker goes hungry.

In derivatives

twattishness (n.)

stupidity.

[UK]Guardian G2 19 Oct. 5: The question of beardy twattishness is being played down.
A. Redman Odd Shoes 68: She even had an announcement made over the train’s PA system, detailing my shortcomings, describing my utter twattishness, and announcing that the train would not be calling at Leicester.

In compounds

twat-fuck (n.)

a general derog. term.

[UK]A. Warner Sopranos 269: Never got in. Past that twat-fuck.
twathead (n.) [-head sfx (1)]

1. a general term of abuse.

[Ire]M. Davies Drumbeat of Jimmy Sands 204: A twathead, tossing crap-hat asking him about a fucking medical pack while Liam was lying unconscious somewhere.
[UK]N. Griffiths Grits 127: Ick, Malcolm goes. — Only twatheads eat Penguins.
[UK]D. Stubbs Send Them Victorious 130: Playing with a bit of fucking intelligence and not like some bloodbrained, remedially haircutted twathead.

2. in attrib. use of sense 1.

G. Same From Brain to Toe 97: Typical twathead professor, can't see past the glasses in front of his face.
twathole (n.)

see sense 1 above.

twat-mag (n.)

a pornographic magazine.

[UK]Roger’s Profanisaurus in Viz 87 Dec. n.p.: twat mag. Bongo literature.
[UK]P. Wojnicki Never Mind the Redcoats 14: He was saving his weekly wages[...] to buy himself a Filipino woman from a mail order bride catalogue that he had obtained from what he eloquently described as a ‘twat mag’ .
twatmaster (n.)

a term of abuse or hostility.

Byfuckinright ‘We will never lose again this season’ at CarolinaProwler.com [Internet] Twatmaster LaVar Arrington and his fuck up coach Steve Spurrier might as well start worrying about their NEXT game because the panthers are going to breeze through them just like they did the bucs.
twat-scourer/-scouring

see separate entries.

In phrases