Green’s Dictionary of Slang

(drugs) four lines of cocaine, two inhaled in each nostril.

1971		R. Woodley Dealer 1: He snorted two spoonfuls in each nostril—a two-and-two.
1972		N.C. Heard To Reach a Dream 74: ‘[T]he cocaine is here—gimme a little two and two’.

see double-bagger under double adj.

see separate entries.

see under blink n.¹

see separate entries.

(Aus. teen) cheap wine, ostensibly priced at two Aus. dollars (i.e. buck n.³ (6)) and as such likely to make one vomit, i.e. chuck v.² (13)

2004

(con. 1960s-70s) T. Taylor Top Fellas 9/2: Passing around a cask of two-buck chuck.

(Irish) a police car.

2001

G. Coughlan Everyday Eng. and Sl. 🌐 Two-bulb (n): squad car.

(US black) ten minutes.

1944

‘Jiver’s Bible’ in D. Burley Orig. Hbk of Harlem Jive.

second-rate, despicable.

1929

‘Max Brand’ ‘The Ghost’ in Goodstone Pulps (1970) 63/1: Those two-card Johnnies over to town know something of what you’ve done.

see separate entries.

(UK juv.) a general term of abuse.

2001

OnLine Dict. of Playground Sl. 🌐 two-dicks adj. derog. an idiot, a very stupid person, used to describe a person who is such a wanker he must have two dicks as one wouldn’t be enough to make him that bad.

(Aus./US) a very cold night.

1984		Partridge DSUE (8th edn).
2002		E. Christelow ‘Classroom Connections’ 🌐 Make a large thermometer. After reading the book, decide how cold a one-dog night would be, a two-dog night, etc. Plot the temperatures on the thermometer. (You could do the same with cats!).
2002		Worldwise 🌐 The Natural Dog [...] The Aborigines respected and tamed wild dingos. The dogs would snuggle up to Aborigines and sleep with them as bed-warmers – this the origin of the term ‘two-dog night.’.

(Aus.) (esp. Tas.) Cascade brand beer.

1993		Google Groups:soc.motss 1 Mar. 🌐 He liked Cascade, a lot. ‘Gimme summa that thar Two Dogs,’ he’d say when he was thirsty.
2011		Udonmap 2 July 🌐 They didnt sell any Jimmies, so asked them for a 2 dogs (Cascade Permium [sic], with the 2 Tassie Tigers on the label) .
2018		Canberra Times (ACT) 30 Mar. 🌐 The mainland, as Tasmanians patronisingly call their neighbouring island, should soon discover the culinary wonders of a scallop pie, just as, decades ago, mainlanders learned to savour Two Dogs (Cascade premium lager).

see separate entry.

(Aus. Und.) a punishment of 25 lashes.

1890

Bulletin (Sydney) 6 Sept. 24/1: The last man they sent me as a clerk was a swell mobsman, lagged for twisting a sparkler.* It gave him two-dozen** and sent him back. [...] [*‘Lagged for twisting a sparkler’ – transported for stealing diamond rings from a jeweller’s counter while inspecting other goods with a pretended view to purchase. ‘Twisting a fawnie’ is ‘flash’-slang for stealing wedding-rings under like conditions. **‘Two-dozen’ – 25 lashes].

(UK tramp) a two-shilling piece (10p).

1934

P. Allingham Cheapjack 38: A shilling is also a ‘hole,’ and a two-shilling piece is a ‘two-ender.’.

a kipper, a salted herring, bloater or cod.

1863		Bucks Herald 24 Oct. 4/6: He calls a bloater a ‘two-eyed steak‘ [...] and prides himself upon his insolence.
1873		Sl. Dict. 332: Two-eyed-steak a red-herring or bloater. Otherwise ‘Billingsgate pheasant.’.
1879		C.J. Kickham Knocknagow 279: ’Tis thinkin’ uv my two-eyed beefsteak I ought to be.
1881		Dundee Courier (Scot.) 18 Mar, 7/5: A ragged and dirty tramp [...] had cooked a two-eyed steak on the fire.
1889		Boston Globe 24 Feb. 18: Gimme a two-eyed beefsteak [...] A plate of boiled salt codfish.
1892		Albert Chevalier ‘Blue Ribbon Janet’ 🎵 Then she ’overed round a two-ey’d steak / Ate the bloater an’ the roe.
1894		Yorks. Eve. Post 4 Sept. 2/5: Mr Augustus Sala writes to a London contemporary to say ‘a two-eyed steak is a red herring or bloater cut open’.
1906		O.C. Malvery Soul Market 152: Now then, miss, ’arf of thick, three doorsteps, and a two-eyed steak.
1907		C. M’Govern By Bolo and Krag 42: I remembered how the soldiers in the 39th ust to turn up their noses when canned salmon was the menu for supper, and make all sorts of derisive remarks about ‘two-eyed beefsteak’ and ‘redmoke’ and ‘gold-fish.’.
1918		K.F. Purdon Dinny on the Doorstep 97: It consisted of what she called ‘two-eyed beef-steaks,’ that is, herrings, which were sizzling pleasantly in her old pan.
1925		Derby Dly Teleg. 6 Aug. 2/5: Mr Churchill can draw a red herring across a trail very skilfully [...] he skipped away merrily with his two-eyed steak.
1929		Advertiser (Adelaide) 25 Oct. 32/8: [He can] dine in luxury off a ‘two-eyed steak’ (a kipper) or a German duck or a sheep’s head.
1932		F. Jennings Tramping with Tramps 147: A two-eyed steak and onions, all hot please!
1937		E. Raymond Marsh 328: How could you do with a nice two-eyed steak, eh, and a couple ’a’ doorsteps, with a nice pint of thick to wash it all dahn with, eh?
1948		Hull Dly Mail 20 Jan. 3/5: The truth is, at this wage level, a penny egg or a two-eyed steak for one’s tea was a luxury.

1. (Can./US) to treat in a duplicitous manner; thus two-facing n.

1935		E. Anderson Hungry Men 89: I’m not going to stand for any two-facin’, and if they like him better than they do me, they can just tell me.
1986		Totally True Diaries of an Eighties Roller Queen 🌐 26 Jan. I trust Melissa. She’s one of my best friends and I don’t two face her because she’s nice.

2. (N.Z. prison) a person with a full facial tattoo.

2001

D. Looser Boobslang [U. Canterbury D.Phil. thesis] 195/1: twoface n. a person with a full facial tattoo.

see separate entry.

see separate entry.

(US tramp) a pickpocket.

1915

Morn. Tulsa Dly World (OK) 13 June 19/3: Roller — a pickpocket; known also as a ‘dip,’ a ‘lush maker’ or ‘two-fingered gent’.

an obscene gesture of dismissal; a ‘V-sign’.

1962		T. Berger Reinhart in Love (1963) 157: He gave Reinhart the two-fingered bull’s-horns, bullshit salute.
1975		‘P.B. Yuill’ Hazell and the Three-card Trick (1977) 145: Desperate gave him a two-finger salute and sat back in the cab.
1980		T. Lewis GBH 108: ‘I notice she left the safe open. Two fingers and all that’.
1996		K. Lette Mad Cows 12: Mamma Joy added a two-fingered salute to her operatic range of gesture.

see separate entry.

see separate entry.

1. good at fist-fighting, thus tough, manly.

1774		P.V. Fithian Journal I 223: [He] appointed a sturdy two-fisted Gentleman to open the Ball with Mrs. Tayloe [DA].
1833		S. Smith Major Downing (1834) 160: I was a brave two-fisted chap.
1840		T. Haliburton Clockmaker III 76: Jist look at Blue-nose and see what a woppin’, great, big, two-fisted crittur he is.
1852		H.B. Stowe Uncle Tom 17: To tell the truth, Phineas had been a hearty, two-fisted backwoodsman, a vigorous hunter, and a dead shot at a buck.
1864, 1867, 1870		Hotten Sl. Dict.
1898		F.P. Dunne Mr Dooley in Peace and War 64: Gin’ral Shafter is a big, coorse, two-fisted man fr’m Mitchigan.
1908		S.E. White Riverman 197: I don’t bet those Saginaw river-pigs are any more two-fisted than the boys on this river. I’d go up and clean ’em out.
1927		H.C. Witwer Classics in Sl. 14: I want a real red-blooded, two-fisted woman which ain’t afraid to swap wallops with no man!
1932		J. Dixon Free To Love 25: He was raising a two-fisted man to carry on in his place some day.
1944		E.S. Gardner Case of the Crooked Candle (1958) 71: I know his type [...] Bullheaded, obstinate, cunning, two-fisted.
1957		(con. 1943) A. Myrer Big War 42: You’re a marine, a two-fisted, hard-drinking, steel-chewing, hell-roaring leatherneck of a devil-dog.
1968		J. Kramer Instant Replay 87: We’ve got a two-fisted coach.
1990		T. Pluto Loose Balls 166: Slick [Leonard] was a hard-driving, two-fisted guy who coddled no one.

2. clumsy.

1802		G. Colman Yngr Poor Gentleman III i: You have been my clumsy, two-fisted valet de chambre, these thirty years.
1859		‘George Eliot’ Adam Bede (1873) 62: As poor a two-fisted thing as ever I saw, you know you was.
1916		P. Kyne Cappy Ricks 245: ‘Florence, my love,’ said Cappy gently, ‘have you [...] talked with that big, two-fisted sailor of yours within the past twelve hours?’.

3. sense 1 extended to inanimate objects, e.g. two-fisted yarn, a tough, male-orientated story.

1922

S. Lewis Babbitt (1974) 99: You never hooked such double-decked, copper-riveted, two-fisted smoke enjoyment!

(Aus.) a person who drinks both rum and beer, one being a chaser.

1972

J. O’Grady It’s Your Shout, Mate! 78: There are many ‘two-gun’ men in this northern State, who drink rum with a beer chaser, or vice versa.

see bracelets n.

see separate entry.

see tympany n.

(N.Z. prison) a 200mg tablet of morphine sulphate.

2001

D. Looser Boobslang [U. Canterbury D.Phil. thesis] 195/1: two hundred n. a 200mg morphine sulphate tablet.

(US black) of a woman, given insufficient sexual gratification.

1994

C. Major Juba to Jive.

the number two.

a.1945

L. Payne private coll. n.p.: 2 Two Jews.

the vagina.

1594		Nashe Unfortunate Traveller in Wells (1964) 252: On the hard boards he threw her and used his knee as an iron ram to beat ope the two-leaved gate of her chastity.
1650		‘Madam Be Covered’ in Farmer Merry Songs and Ballads (1897) II 38: These bare signes do but bid us look / For unknown stuffe in your two leav’d book.
1670–83		‘The Mystery Discovered’ in Ebsworth Roxburghe Ballads (1891) VII:2 325: Blith bonny Frances comes the next, / To lye alone, alas! she’s grieved, / She’d have you comment on the text, / That’s written in her book two-leav’d.
1679–80		‘Jenny’s Answer to Sawney’ in Ebsworth Roxburghe Ballads (1893) VII:1 15: Guid faith! I’se keep close my two-leav’d Book, I’se will not trust him to gang between.

the gallows.

1568		U. Fulwell Like Will to Like 30: This piece of land, whereto you inheritors are, Is called the land of the two-legged mare.
1696		Motteux (trans.) Gargantua and Pantagruel (1927) II Bk V 514: Your gaol-birds, who, having done some rogue’s trick or other heinous villainy, and being sought up and down to be [...] made to ride the two or three-legged mare that groans for them.
1889		Shepton Mallet Jrnl 15 Mar. 8/4: To wear ‘St Johnstone’s tippet,’ to ‘ride the two-legged mare’ [...] refer to the same thing. A piece of rope with which a man had been hanged.
1890–1904		Farmer & Henley Sl. and Its Analogues.

the gallows.

1890–1904

Farmer & Henley Sl. and Its Analogues.

see separate entry.

(W.I.) two shillings (post-1969 value 20 cents).

1952

cited in Cassidy & LePage Dict. Jam. Eng. (1980).

(N.Z. prison) one who is serving a very short sentence.

2001

D. Looser Boobslang [U. Canterbury D.Phil. thesis] 195/1: two minute noodle n. an inmate serving a very short sentence.

(W.I.) a hypocrite.

1954

cited in Cassidy & LePage Dict. Jam. Eng. (1980).

see separate entries.

(Aus.) a florin, a two-shilling piece (10p).

1941

Baker Popular Dict. Aus. Sl.

see separate entries.

(US Und.) a double-barrelled shotgun.

1949

Monteleone Criminal Sl. (rev. edn).

see under screamer n.

see may your prick and purse never fail you under prick n.

one who earns two pounds per week, thus a member of the lower middle classes.

1883

‘’Arry on His Critics and Champions’ in Punch 14 Apr. 180/1: We might be gilded toffs or two-quidders, but Johnnies or ’Arries? No fear!

(US Und.) a two-year prison sentence.

1992

Bentley & Corbett Prison Sl. 19: Deuce A two-year prison sentence. (Archaic: two spaces, twospotter).

(US) a small town.

1950

Goldin et al. DAUL 230/2: Two-stemmer. A town with at least two principal thoroughfares, regarded as profitable area for panhandling or racketeering.

(US tramp) a chicken.

1927		C. Samolar ‘Argot of the Vagabond’ in AS II:9 389: A chicken is a gump or two-step.
1936		Mencken Amer. Lang. (4th edn) 582: A chicken is a gump or two-step.
1949		Monteleone Criminal Sl. (rev. edn).

see separate entries.

see separate entries.

(US black) enormous, outsize.

2008

‘Grandmaster Flash’ Adventures 134: A crew of b-boys is out on the playground, cardboard on the pavement, busting their moves and blasting a jam out of a two-ton boom box.

(US gay) sex between black and white men.

1988

(con. 1940s) C. Bram Hold Tight (1990) 204: A circus queen into twotone.

(N.Z. prison) a two-person cell.

2001

D. Looser Boobslang [U. Canterbury D.Phil. thesis] 195/2: two-up n. 1 a cell designed to accommodate two or more people.

see separate entry.

(US Und.) a two-dollar bill.

1949

Monteleone Criminal Sl. (rev. edn).

(UK Black/drugs) 2¼ oz / 63 grams of crack cocaine or marijuana.

2015		comment at genius.com 🌐 2 ounces (56 grams) and a quarter ounce (7 grams) commonly referred to as a ‘two and a Q’ make up 63 grams.
2016		67 ‘Money Afi Make’ 🎵 Smack down raw and some blades I just broke down a 28 / Threw a two and a Q and the pyrex came back looking like clay.
2020		G. Krauze What They Was 211: [of marijuana] We’re looking to pick up two-and-a-q.

(US) in craps dice, the roll of two.

2001		Word for the Wise 31 Aug. [US radio script] The low roll of two is dubbed two bad boys from Illinois, cat eyes, and perhaps the best known nickname in the world of dicing: snake eyes.
2002		‘The Lang. of Craps’ CasinoTips.org 🌐 TWO: ‘Craps,’ ‘two aces,’ ‘rats eyes,’ ‘snake eyes,’ ‘push the don’t,’ ‘eleven in a shoe store,’ ‘twice in the rice,’ ‘two craps two, two bad boys from Illinois.’.

(Aus./N.Z.) in the gambling game of two-up, a throw in which two coins come up ‘tails’.

2003

McGill Reed Dict. of N.Z. Sl.

(US) something excellent; an advantage.

1870

B. Harte Luck of Roaring Camp (1873) 2: Sandy Tipton thought it was ‘rough on Sal,’ and [...] for a moment rose superior to the fact that he had an ace and two bowers in his sleeve. [Ibid.] 59: ‘What have you got there? – I call,’ said Tennessee, quietly. ‘Two bowers and an ace,’ said the stranger, as quietly, showing two revolvers and a bowie-knife. ‘That takes me,’ returned Tennessee.

see one sandwich short of a picnic under ...short of... adj.

see under ...short of... adj.

see separate entries.

see two-by-four adj.

1. fried eggs and bacon.

1921		N&Q 12 Ser. IX 425: Two Dots and a Dash. Fried eggs and bacon.
1944		P. Kendall Dict. Service Sl. n.p.: two dots and a dash . . . fried eggs and bacon.

2. (US gay) the male genitals.

1965		Guild Dict. Homosexual Terms 46: two dots and a dash (n.): The male organ and its testicles.
1966		Trimble 5000 Adult Sex Words and Phrases.
1972		B. Rodgers Queens’ Vernacular.

see three draws and a spit under three adj.

see coffee and cakes under coffee n.

(US) duplicitous, deceitful, untrustworthy.

1959		M. Pugh Chancer 91: He was as two-faced as a cod, a proper chancer.
2004		Rob at depthmarker.blogspot.com 3 Jan. 🌐 Bush: Killer of man and woman...he’s proved this as gov. of texas and as president. [...] Corrupt . . . duplicitous . . . fake . . . coward . . . liar . . . a methodist axe (two faced).

double-dealing, cheating, duplicity; a deceitful person.

1578		Lyly Euphues (1916) 105: If thou be hot as the mount Aetna, feign thyself as cold as the hill Caucasus; carry two faces in one hood.
c.1698		B.E. Dict. Canting Crew n.p.: Two Faces under one Hood, a Double Dealer.
1725		New Canting Dict. [as cit. c.1698].
1823		‘Jon Bee’ Dict. of the Turf, the Ring, the Chase, etc.
1828		London Standard 24 Apr. 2/5: It may be very convenient for us to have ‘two faces under one hood’.
1838		Leeds Times 11 Aug. 4/3: Against ‘two faces under one hood’ there cannot in the abstract be any objection.
1841		Northern Star (W. Yorks) 7 Aug. 5/4: ‘wo Faces Under One Hood’. The Times has been busily engaged [etc.].
1852		Norfolk News 3 Apr. 2/6: Two Faces Under One Hood. The tory party is now playing a deceitful and dangerous game.
1864		Norfolk News 12 Nov. 4/6: About to make way for a diplomatist better able to carry ‘two faces under one hood’.
1886		Hull Dly Mail 26 Jan. 4/4: Yea, two faces under one hood and the body rotten.
1892		Newcastle Courant 21 May 2/6: When presently he asserted that his friend ‘carried two faces under one hood,’ Tom could return the compliment.

the posterior, the buttocks.

1889–90

Barrère & Leland Dict. of Sl., Jargon and Cant.

(bingo) the number 88.

1981		P. Wright Cockney Dialect and Sl. 110: 88 = two fat women.
2002		(con. 1960s) M. McGrath Silvertown 223: The Walters fall to their cards, frantically marking the numbers as they’re called: two fat ladies, eighty-eight.
2003		Observer 6 July 16: Old favourites such as ‘two fat ladies’, 88.

see two shakes of a lamb’s tail phr.

(US) cheap, second-rate.

1928		J. Callahan Man’s Grim Justice 130: Detective stories [...] and other two for a nickel periodicals were my speed.
1930		(con. 1910s) L. Nason A Corporal Once 53: That blank-dashed, cross-cut, blanket-branded, tinhorn, two-for-a-nickel, son of a mangy coyote.
1935		C. Odets Awake and Sing! Act III: One thing I won’t forget – how you left me crying on the bed like I was two for a cent!
1968		K. Brasselle Cannibals 431: I don’t want any help from you or any of your two-for-a-nickel friends.

see two shakes of a lamb’s tail phr.

(Aus./N.Z.) in the gambling game of two-up, a throw in which two coins come up ‘tails’.

1938		Press (Canterbury) 2 Apr. 18: [T]wo-up, a game supplying the phrase ‘two ladies on bicycles,’ two pennies showing Britannia.
2003		McGill Reed Dict. of N.Z. Sl.

(bingo) the number 77.

1981		P. Wright Cockney Dialect and Sl. 110: 77 = two little crutches.
2001		J. Burkardt ‘The Bingo Code’ Wordplay 🌐 77: two little crutches.

(bingo) the number 22.

1943		M. Harrison Reported Safe Arrival 85: ‘Twenty-two’ is more often ‘Two Little Ducks.’.
1960		A. Burgess Doctor Is Sick (1972) 197: The flop-tied man dismissed two little ducks, legs eleven, doctor’s chum, Dowing Street, Kelly’s eye, and various others.
1980		T. McClenaghan Submariners I ii: tannoy (with everyone in unison): Two little ducks. Two and six. Half a crown.
1981		P. Wright Cockney Dialect and Sl. 110: 22 = two ducks.
2001		J. Burkardt ‘The Bingo Code’ Wordplay 🌐 22: two ducks.
2002		www.ildado.com 🌐 Bingo Nicknames [...] 22.. Two little ducks (suggesting the necks of two swans), Ducks on a pond, Dinky doo, All the twos.

see under ...short of... adj.

a brief act of intercourse with a prostitute, either vaginal, i.e. wet, or anal, i.e. dry, or masturbation.

1706		Answer to the Fifteen Comforts of Whoring 7: Some prick-louse Taylor, strutting up will come / With whom for want we’re forc’d to comp’y, / for one poor two pence wet, and two pence dry.
1713		W. King York Spy 43: Scarce one appeared above the Degree of an Alderman’s Pimp, nor one Strum, that cou’d demand above Two pence Wet and Two pence Dry, for a Nights Occupation.
[c.1758		John F---g Epistle of a Reformed Rake 9: Street-walkers and Bulk-mongers sometimes take a Youth’s own Handkerchief, instead of Three-half-pence, (half-wet-half-dry) for a Manual-abortion].
1772		Bridges Burlesque Homer (3rd edn) 123: Then you’ll with aldermen be willing / To earn a sixpence or a shilling, / Or else in midnight cellars ply, / For two pence wet and twopence dry.

see one sandwich short of a picnic under ...short of... adj.

see two shakes of a lamb’s tail phr.

see separate entry.

see two shakes of a lamb’s tail phr.

(US campus) an expression of approval.

1990		Eble Campus Sl. Nov.
1996–2003		ur92knowthyself Amazon.com 🌐 Listmania! Two snaps up! Films featuring gay characters of color.

castrated, thus a eunuch.

1785, 1788, 1796		Grose Classical Dict. of the Vulgar Tongue n.p.: Two stone under weight, or wanting; an eunuch.
1811		Lex. Balatronicum [as cit. 1785].
1823		Egan Grose’s Classical Dict. of the Vulgar Tongue.
1890–1904		Farmer & Henley Sl. and Its Analogues.

see under ...short of... adj.

a phr. said of a person beating their hands against their sides to get warm on a cold day.

c.1786		Grose Classical Dict. of the Vulgar Tongue ms. additions n.p.: two thieves beating a rogue A man beating his Body with his two hands in order to warm himself in cold weather; called also Beating the Booby.
1788, 1796		Grose Classical Dict. of the Vulgar Tongue (2nd, 3rd edn) n.p.: two thieves beating a rogue A man beating his hands against his sides to warm himself in cold weather; called also Beating the Booby, and Cuffing Jonas.
1811		Lex. Balatronicum.
1823		Egan Grose’s Classical Dict. of the Vulgar Tongue.

(US) a pawnbroker.

1786		Mr Thompson Female Amazon 4: She was [...] constantly attending the pawnbroker’s office and the gin-shop [...] and was able [...] to outwit both Mr Two to One, and Mr Boniface.
1838		Paul Pry 30 Sept. 182/4: When the lad took the watch up he discovered the glass was broken; when showing it, two-to-one said it was so when left.
1859		Matsell Vocabulum.
1873		Sl. Dict. 332: Two to one the pawnbroker’s sign of three balls. So called because it is supposed by calculating humourists to be two to one against the redemption of a pledged article.
1895		Crowe Aus. Sl. Dict. 90: Two to One, the pawnbrokers sign.

a pawnbroker’s shop.

1785, 1788, 1796		Grose Classical Dict. of the Vulgar Tongue n.p.: two to one shop a pawn-broker’s, alluding to the three blue balls, the sign of that trade, or perhaps to its being two to one that the goods pledged are never redeemed.
1811		Lex. Balatronicum.
1823		Egan Grose’s Classical Dict. of the Vulgar Tongue.
1871		Hants. Advertiser 21 Oct.7/6: Who keeps the shop whose 'Two-to-One' / Denotes that you shall not be done? / ...] My Uncle.

see two shakes of a lamb’s tail phr.

(orig. US) an instant, a very short time, usu. as in two twos, immediately.

1838		T.C. Haliburton Clockmaker 315: They’d soon set these matters right in two twos.
1884		Ally Sloper’s Half Holiday 14 June 50/3: Sloper [...] chained him up in about two twos.
1886		S. Watson Wops the Waif 2/2: Why, I’d knock yer into the middle of next week, in about two twos.
1961		V.S. Naipaul House For Mr Biswas 164: Seebaran woulda fix you up in two twos.
1979		T. Rhone Old Story Time I i: A tell you, give him a bottle of whites, an two twos him was slap bang in the mood.
2020		G. Krauze What They Was 185: Two twos some man comes along and gets involved.

see under ...short of... adj.

see forty ways from the jack under forty adj.¹

see two shakes of a lamb’s tail phr.

you have no hope, the odds are stacked against you.

1909

J. Ware Passing Eng. of the Victorian Era 253/1: Two to one against you (Peoples’). Very much against you. Refers to the pawnbroker’s golden sign ‘ the three balls’ – two above one, implying that it is two to one that you will never get your pledge back.