piss, v. — Green’s Dictionary of Slang

piss v.

[? echoic]

1. to urinate .

c.1290		Early South Eng. Legendary I 45 381: ?wane he wolde pisse [OED].
1356		J. Mandeville Travels 242: The moste Synne that ony man may do is to pissen in thire Houses that thei dwellen in.
c.1367–86		Langland Piers Plowman (B) V line 341: He pissed a potel in a paternoster .
c.1386		Chaucer Reeve’s Tale ( 1979) line 360: The wyf hir rowting leet, And gan awake, and went hire out to pisse.
1508		Dunbar Tua Maryit Wemen and the Wedow in Laing (1834) I 68: He dois as dotit dog that damys on all biuffis, And liftis his leg apon loft, thoght he nought list pische.
1517		Skelton Elynour Rummynge line 373: She pyst where she stood.
1525		Tyndale trans. Bible 1 Sam. xviii 22: If I leave by the morning light any that pisseth against the wall [F&H].
1533		J. Heywood A Merry Play in Farmer Dramatic Writings (1905) 75: But, by Cock’s soul, here hath a dog pist.
1542		A. Boorde Introduction of Knowledge (1870) 149: Many of the men of the coutres wyll quaf tyl they ben dronk, & wyl pysse vnder the table where as they sit.
1568		U. Fulwell Like Will to Like 51: By the mass, I must go piss.
1576		G. Whetstone ‘Ortchard of Repentance’ Rocke of Regard 41: [This] haplesse sight, so nipt him at the hart, That loe for woe, hee pissed where he stoode.
1583		P. Stubbes Anatomie of Abuses 62: Some [...] pyssing under the boorde as they sitte, which is most horrible.
1592		Arden of Feversham line 768: I’ll stab him as he stands pissing against a wall, but I’ll kill him.
1600		J. Day Blind Beggar of Bednall-Green Act IV: Gentlemen! as God mend me, a couple of arrant Cony-catchers as e’re pist. [Ibid.] V: I’ll give you leave to stick me up at the Court-gate for a Pissing-post, so will I.
1611		L. Barry Ram-Alley III i: Take heed; Let me not catch thee in the widow’s house; If I do, I’ll pick they head upon my sword, And piss in thy very visnomy.
1612		N. Field Woman is a Weathercock III ii: She’ll be as drunk as a porter. I’ll tell you, my lord, I have seen her so be-piss the rushes, as she has danced at a wedding.
1620		Rowlands Night Raven 32: She layd my Fan where rats and mice did pisse.
1632		D. Lupton London and the Countrey Carbonadoed 35: Smithfield. You may haue a faire prospect of this square, Fellow, as you pisse from the streights of Pie-Corner.
1639		J. Taylor ‘This Summers Travels’ in Hindley Works (1872) 18: I will give my mare but a peck of malt, and she shall piss better drink that this.
1645		Recreation for Ingenious Head-peeces (3rd) Epigram No. 421: Oft in the night Salonus is inclin’d, To rise and pisse.
1654		Mercurius Fumigosus 26 22–30 Nov. 225: A man that cry’d Maribones pissing the other day against Hatton Wall, was very much eyed by a Cittizens Daughter.
1660		Wandring Whore I 9: The Italian Padlock, are made of Iron, Steel and silver, gilt over, sometimes covered with Plush or Velvet, which goes quite round their hips, a thin plate going between their Legs like a Cullinder or Grate to piss thorough.
1670		J. Ray Proverbs 18: He who but once a good name gets, / May piss a bed and say he sweats. [Ibid.] 93: Fire quoth the fox, when he pist on the ice. [Ibid.] 131: Piss not against the wind.
c.1670		Purgatorium Hibernicum 22: And there she drinke the Deel & all / Supeing and pishing.
1674		Head Canting Academy (2nd edn) 81: If I tell you amiss / Let me never piss.
1680		Merry Maid of Islington 2: If this prove true, may Cats piss out my eyes.
1690		‘Teague’ Teagueland Jests I 122: If a Man does but go to piss in any Corner of the Street, he is strait presented with [...] printed Quack-bills.
1698		N. Ward ‘The Cock-Pit Combat’ Writings (1704) 136: He Pis’d and he Growl’d, and he Growl’d and he Pis’d.
1709		N. Chorier (trans.) of Meursius ‘The Delights of Venus’ in Cabinet of Love (1739) 198: Weary with Toil, and spent, while Callus slept, / I from the Bed into the Chamber stept, / [...] I set the Piss Pot to my Cunt and piss’d.
1714		T. Lucas Lives of the Gamesters (1930) 159: The gentleman [...] did stab the negro, as he was pissing at Temple-Bar.
1720		in D’Urfey Pills to Purge Melancholy VI 201: We drink and piss, and piss and drink, and drink to piss again.
1733		Laugh and Be Fat 114: Since Piss-pots, I to Coin am run, / I shall no more be piss’d upon; / For he is of Republick Race, / That dares to piss in Monarch’s face.
1744		‘Nurse Lovechild’ Tommy Thumb’s Songbook II 34: Piss a Bed, / Piss a Bed, / Barley Butt, / Your Bum is so heavy / You cant get up.
1750		Hist. of Jack Horner 8: So then she pist upon his head, And put out both his eyes.
1761		Nancy Dawson’s Jests 14: He [...] pissed his breeches.
c.1775		Only True and Exact Calendar [title page] Miss Molly Laycock and Cock-eyed Nan, that pisses thro’ a Gold Ring.
1786		C. Morris ‘Jenny Sutton’ Collection of Songs (1788) 53: Yon pissing-corner was her stand, / Where, safe from Watchman’s danger, / She, undismay’d, stretched forth her Hand / To each unbutton’d Stranger [...] She bar’d the buttocks as they piss’d / To lure them with her notions.
1793		Bacchanalian Mag. 104: We drink and piss, and piss and drink, / And drink to piss again.
c.1800		Burns ‘The Reels o’ Bogie’ Merry Muses of Caledonia (1965) 153: The lads ne’er think it is amiss / To bang the holes whereout they piss.
1812		J. Bell Jr. (ed.) Rhymes of Northern Bards 252: He spews in the cistern of salt, / In our kale-pot and cogies he’s piss’d.
1812		Spirit of Irish Wit 9: The landlord, a pickled dog, said his wife had p—d, f—d, broke the pot, cut her a— , wetted the carpet, roared [...] all at the same moment.
1823		Hist. of Jack Horner 17: He indeed did want to piss, and to the pot must go.
1835		‘Peas, Beans, & Cabbages’ Knowing Chaunter 9: She cock’d up her left leg, / And pulled out the peg. / And p----d a mile high, or near.
1846		Swell’s Night Guide 62: These double meaning whidds, / Decency forbids. / But which, in truth, means this – / Here, you must not piss.
c.1850		Peeping Tom (London) 17 66/2: Muck schasio’s! [...] what a name for hair; why, there’s never a morning that I get up but I [p-ss] through a far better pair.
c.1864		in Randolph & Legman Ozark Folksongs and Folklore (1992) II 660: But you have put the pretty dears / To patriotic pissing.
c.1875		‘The Ball of Kirriemuir’ in Bold (1979) 14: The Undertaker he was there / All dressed up in a shroud / Swinging from the chandlier / And pissing on the crowd.
1888–94		‘Walter’ My Secret Life (1966) I 22: I had a vague idea, though not a belief, that a cock and cunt were not made for pissing only.
1902		D. St John Memoirs of Madge Buford 41: Why say: ‘Make water,’ why not ‘piss,’ right out?
c.1918		‘O Dear What Can the Matter Be’ in Bold (1979) 154: She came there to piss of superfluous water / And nobody knew she was there.
1922		Joyce Ulysses 46: He trotted forward and, lifting a hindleg, pissed quick short at an unsmelt rock.
1929		E. Dahlberg Bottom Dogs 137: A four year old pissing in the street on his shoes.
1930		(con. 1918) J. Hanley German Prisoner 19: ‘You lump of shite [...] When you’ve learned to piss in your cap, you sucker, you’ll have room to talk’.
1934		H. Roth Call It Sleep (1977) 155: Does he piss water as mortals do, or only the purest of vegetable oil?
1948		(con. 1944) N. Mailer Naked and Dead 33: If you were sitting on a fire, I guess you’d be too lazy to piss and put it out.
1955		J.P. Donleavy Ginger Man (1958) 165: Last night I caught an old bugger pissing into the drinking fountain.
1968		K. Amis letter 13 Oct. in Leader (2000) 173: The whole staircase smells as if someone has run up and down it pissing on everything having just eaten 8 or 9 lbs of aspragus.
1979		E. Torres After Hours 32: All I need is for a dog to piss on my leg.
1987		B. Chatwin Songlines 34: In the time I took to piss, she had already attached herself to a stringy little man.
1998		P. Cornwell Point of Origin (1999) 140: ‘Geez, who pissed in your cornflakes?’ Marino answered back.
2000		P. Beatty Tuff 10: Thank goodness those niggers didn’t have to piss.
2005		L. Theroux Call of the Weird (2006) 192: They would send a goon squad to piss on Banner’s couch, then shit in his fridge.
2005		P. Temple Broken Shore (2007) [ebook] He pissed from the verandah, onto the weeds.
2009		L. McIlvanney All the Colours 50: [H]e was waiting for someone to finish pissing.
2011		S. Kelman Pigeon English 6: Piss and slash and tinkle mean all the same (the same as greet the chief).
2020		D. Winslow ‘Sunset’ in Broken 209: ‘You don’t have to piss?’.

2. to issue vaginal secretions.

c.1674

Rochester ‘Satyr’ n.p.: So Dildoe’s to faln Prick, when Cunt has pist on’t.

3. to rain heavily; usu. as piss down.

[1606		Return from Parnassus Pt II IV ii: The great protector of the thunder-bolts? He that is wont to pisse whole clouds of raine, Into the earth vast gaping vrinall].
1952		(con. 1920s) ‘Harry Grey’ Hoods (1953) 124: ‘It’s a pissen down worse than before,’ he reported.
1961		T. Taylor Baron’s Court All Change (2011) 63: [I]t was pissing down. The sort of rain that challenges you to put on your most rainproof raincoat.
1967		N. Dunn Poor Cow 76: The rain’s pissing down blowing in through the winder misting up his glasses.
1977		P. Reading ‘Travalogue’ Nothing For Anyone 30: Now it’s August and it’s pissing down.
1984		P. Barker Blow Your House Down 8: ‘It’s not still raining, is it?’ ‘Pissing.’.
1989		H. Leonard Out After Dark 92: I got pissed on.
1990		R.G. Barratt ‘TV Ads’ in What Do You Reckon (1997) [ebook] The rain [...] began pissing down.
1991		R. Doyle Van (1998) 427: It was pissing all day Tuesday.
1999		Guardian Guide 12–18 June 30: Pissin’ it down ‘like a bastard’ as some cockney sparra’ in the queue said.
2005		Guardian G2 5 May 12: It is really pissing down now.
2010		K. Richards Life 39: Unless it was pissing with rain [...] straight to the tennis club.
2010		(con. 1973) C. Stella Johnny Porno 10: Friday was supposed to piss down rain.
2018		R. O’Neill ‘Ocker’ in The Drover’s Wives (2019) 180: Anyway, it’s about to piss down.
2020		G. Disher Consolation 36: Pissing down with rain.

4. in ext. use, to exude liquid, other than urine; also in fig. use.

1934		H. Roth Call It Sleep (1977) 213: If you could read as easily as your eyes can piss, you were a fine scholar indeed!
1939		H. Miller Tropic of Capricorn (1964) 254: I knew very well I was pissing my time away.
1981		J. Wambaugh Glitter Dome (1982) 124: Buying her those Bloody Marys. I bet she’s in there pissing tomato juice right now!
1991		M.B. ‘Chopper’ Read Chopper From The Inside 128: He lived and ran screaming with blood pissing from the wound.
2000		J.J. Connolly Layer Cake 189: I’m already starting to piss sweat. I’m sure it smells of Irish whiskey.
2016		D. Whish-Wilson Old Scores [ebook] The old Datsun banger had a busted head gasket and a dud radiator, and pissed out steam every fifty k.

5. (orig. US) to complain, to whinge.

1947		(con. 1942) J.H. Burns Gallery (1948) 189: The focus of all the pissing and moaning was that Captain Motes was a spineless commanding officer.
1948		(con. 1944) N. Mailer Naked and Dead 10: Listen, trooper [...] you can just quit your pissing.
1974		(con. 1945) E. Thompson Tattoo (1977) 285: What’s the Muskrat pissin about now?
2017		S.M. Jones August Snow [ebook] ‘Listening to her bitch, moan, piss and groan about this, that and the other’.

6. in fig. use, to deride, to attack, to disdain.

[1611		L. Barry Ram-Alley III i: Let me not catch thee in the widdowes house If I doe Ile pick they head vpon my sword, And pisse in thy very visnomy, beware].
[1780		‘Grubstreticus’ Parody on the Rosciad 43: Bride, Bridegroom, guests, and servants – hiss’d, / The Bard – a common case – bep-ss’d].
1971		L.B. Johnson ref. to J. Edgar Hoover director of FBI, in J.K. Galbraith Guardian Weekly 18 Dec. n.p.: I’d much rather have that fellow inside my tent pissing out than outside my tent pissing in [R].
1999		Indep. Rev. 8 July 4: Yentob looks good for the number two deputy DG role because it’s ‘better to have him inside the tent pissing out than vice versa’.
2006		G. Iles Turning Angel 207: Come to think of it, you’re the enemy by constitution. But I’d rather have you inside the tent pisssing out.

7. to drink (alcohol).

1984

P. Corris ‘Marriages Are Made in Heaven’ in Heroin Annie [e-book] Where are you? In some pub at the Cross, I suppose? Pissing on?

8. see piss-test v. (1)

In derivatives

pissed (adj.)

urine-soaked.

1654

New Brawle 4: I have a husband good for nothing , but to be set in the Chimney-corner , to dry pist clothes on his horns.

pissery (n.)

a urinal, a privy.

1986

D. Barker (con. 1925) Life in Jazz 94: Pappy said, ‘Take this boy to the pissery back by the barn.’ [...]. We reached an ancient lopsided outhouse and he said, ‘Here’s the pissery’.

pissifying (adj.)

(US) depressing, frustrating.

2023

F. Bill Back to the Dirt 129: ‘Was pissifying, we were there to help them battle the threat of communism from the north’.

In derivatives

bepiss (v.)

to urinate on .

1566

W. Adlington (trans) Golden Asse 6: [T]hey stridde ouer me, and slapped their buttockes vpo [sic] my face, and all bepissed me, till I was wringing wet .

In compounds

piss-making (adj.) [it makes one want to piss]

(US black) infuriating.

1993

J. Mowry Six Out Seven (1994) 41: Only a real brother be such a piss-makin pain in my ass!

piss-parade (v.) [piss on someone’s parade under piss on v.]

(W.I.) to shatter illusions, to ruin an otherwise satisfactory situation.

1976

cited in Allsopp Dict. Carib. Eng. Usage (1996).

piss-quick (n.) [the colour, i.e. its resemblance to urine or ? the diuretic effects of the juinper berries, an ingredient of gin]

gin mixed with marmalade topped up with boiling water.

1823

‘Jon Bee’ Dict. of the Turf, the Ring, the Chase, etc.

In phrases

— as ever pissed

of a person, signifying some degree - pos. or neg. - of quality.

1598		Jonson Every Man in His Humour I:4: Guiliano: I am the rankest — that ever pissed!
1664		Cotton Virgil Travestie n.p.: I sing the man (read it who list, / A Trojan true as ever pissed) .
1781		Hicky’s Bengal Gaz. 4-11 Aug.n.p.: Nay tho he draws so droll a list, / Of merry Beaux as ever P—st.
1890–1904		Farmer & Henley Sl. and Its Analogues.

he looks like he wouldn’t piss if his pants were on fire

a phr. used of an especially dull, stupid-looking person.

1987		Red & Bigelow Near Dark [film script] Caleb jumps out. Has a casual look around him. Like he wouldn’t piss if his pants were on fire. He lights up a Marlboro. Deep heels it up to the window.
1991		M. Cormany Polaroid Man 52: This man is so dumb he wouldn’t piss if his pants were on fire.

I’ll be pissed

a phr. implying impossibility.

1970

San Diego Sailor n.p.: ‘Right now he’s plotting how to snatch you.’ [...] ‘I’ll be pissed if he ever does. What do I look like?’.

make someone piss (v.)

1. to annoy, to infuriate, to disgust.

1667

Pepys Diary 15 Nov. n.p.: cited in Partridge DSUE (1984).

2. (Aus.) to beat up, to defeat.

1981

A. Weller Day of the Dog 58: That new bloke she’s got now beat ’er black and blue. I’ll make ’im piss when I catch up with ’im.

piss about (v.)

see separate entry.

piss all over (v.)

see piss on v.

piss all over someone and tell them it’s raining (v.)

see piss in someone’s ear and tell them it’s raining

piss and moan (v.)

(orig. US) to complain, to whinge.

1951		J. Blake letter 30 Dec. in Joint (1972) 29: It’s no use to piss and moan about it.
1959		in E. Cray Erotic Muse (1992) 405: Now the first pass was made on the 497, / Colonel S-----s was up ahead, / And he pissed and he moaned, and he shit and he groaned, / For he thought he would surely be dead.
1972		G.V. Higgins Friends of Eddie Coyle 30: Six months ago you used to piss and moan something awful.
1981		G.V. Higgins Rat on Fire (1982) 77: Dannaher, when he got through pissing and moaning about going in the woods, shut up.
1997		Simon & Burns Corner (1998) 103: Every day, Gary pisses and moans over her crudball moves.
2001		N. Green Shooting Dr. Jack (2002) 119: He pissed and moaned about how much his life sucked.
2008		Simon & Mills ‘React Quotes’ Wire ser. 5 ep. 5 [TV script] He goes quietly. And now he’s making twelve a year more than when he was Commisioner [...] You think that happens if he does the piss and moan?
2010		(con. 1973) C. Stella Johnny Porno 14: Find new blood instead of pissing and moaning.
2024		C. Stella Joey Piss Pot 65: ‘It’s all he could talk about the other day. He pissed and moaned about it’.

piss around (v.)

see piss about v.

piss-arse about (v.) [ext. piss about v. (1)]

(orig. milit.) to mess about.

1984		Partridge DSUE (8th edn) 890: [...] since ca. 1920.
2001		P. Magrs All the Rage 47: ‘I don’t piss-arse about.’ ‘No, Roy’ .

piss away (v.) [fig. use of sense 2 above]

to waste.

[1700		T. Brown Amusements Serious and Comical in Works (1744) III 94: Thither [i.e. the tavern] libertines repair to drink away their brains, and piss away their estates].
[1707		N. Ward London Terraefilius II 37: The Fuddle Caps of the Town shall impair their Health, Piss away their Wealth, and waste their Time].
1933		J.T. Farrell Gas-House McGinty 3: I was p-----g my dough away.
1949		H. Miller Sexus (1969) 238: A guy had to be a sap to piss away his money on a gift for a whore.
1952		(con. 1920s) ‘Harry Grey’ Hoods (1953) 144: You got yourself a racket that should earn you about four hundred bucks a week [...] don’t go pissing it away.
1967		L. Bruce Essential Lenny Bruce 19: We piss away a million dollars on radio Free Europe.
1971		T. Lewis Plender [ebook] [P]issing her time away at university.
1975		E. Torres Carlito’s Way 58: When I think of the bread I’ve pissed away!
1981		G.V. Higgins Rat on Fire (1982) 58: I’m not pushing my luck like that, pissing away everything I got.
1993		T. Jones Pugilist at Rest 158: Are you still pissing your money away on lottery tickets?
1997		Simon & Burns Corner (1998) 59: They all do it not so much for the cash — which they piss away anyway — but for a brief sense of self.
1998		P. Doyle (con. late 1950s) Amaze Your Friends (2019) 85: I pissed the week away.
2004		T. Winton Turning (2005) 150: He [...] pissed his pay away at the pub.
2012		J.J. DeCeglie ‘Death Cannot Be Delegated’ in Crime Factory: Hard Labour [ebook] Money and me don’t go [...] You can imagine I guess. I piss it away.
2017		S.M. Jones August Snow [ebook] Even with the money I’d pissed away [...] I still had more money than I could ever imagine spending in three lifetimes.
2021		L. McInerney Rules of Revelation 208: My dad couldn’t keep a hold of money. He’d just piss it away.

piss-ball about (v.)

see separate entry.

piss blood (v.)

1. to work extremely hard.

1937–84		Partridge DSUE (1984) 890/1: late C.19–20.
1998		J. Charyn Death of a Tango King 46: We had to piss blood, but we got it. You’re our ‘man’ in Medellin.
[2008		Japan Close-Up 13 30: You once told the heads of your sales agents about working so hard that you ‘piss blood’].

2. to worry excessively, to make a great fuss.

1974

G.V. Higgins Cogan’s Trade (1975) 33: So everybody pisses blood for a while [...] the way they always do when the shit hits the fan.

3. to suffer a great deal.

1997		N. Barlay Curvy Lovebox 43: Blower [...] tells Isaacs he’s gonna make him piss blood.
2001		D. Jenkins Money-Whipped Steer-Job 121: I moaned to her about how I’d been taken hostage in Pebble Beach, and how Cheryl had found out about it and was making me piss blood.

piss bones (v.) (also piss children, ...hard) [note Welsh phrase for pregnancy: mae hi’n magu mân esgyrn ‘she’s rearing tiny bones’]

to go into labour, to give birth.

[1672		J. Phillips Maronides (1678) VI 19: Though they came out of Jove’s own Twist, / Or from a Goddess engine pist].
1890–1904		Farmer & Henley Sl. and Its Analogues.

piss broken glass (v.) (also piss razor blades) [the pain experienced when urinating during a bout of VD]

to have venereal disease, esp. gonorrhoea.

1977		D. Powis Signs of Crime 196: Piss (broken) glass, to Descriptive phrase referring to gonorrhoea or any urinary infection.
1985		Tracks (Aus.) June 45: Dear Doctor, Recently I fucked the brains out of a northern bushpig. Two weeks later my cock has been stinging after I have a piss, I feel like I have just urinated a pack of razor blades [Moore 1993].

piss bullets (v.)

see shit (hot) bullets under shit v.

piss down someone’s back (v.) (also piss up someone’s back)

to flatter someone.

c.1786		Grose Classical Dict. of the Vulgar Tongue ms. additions n.p.: Pissing down any ones Back, to Flatter him or her.
1796		Grose Classical Dict. of the Vulgar Tongue (3rd edn) n.p.: PIssing down any one’s Back. Flattering him.
1811		Lex. Balatronicum [as cit. 1796].
1823		Egan Grose’s Classical Dict. of the Vulgar Tongue.

piss-fart (v.) [var. on piss about v.]

to waste time.

2012

L. Jose ‘Underhooks’ in Crime Factory: Hard Labour [ebook] Wee-wee in the fucking cup and stop wasting my time [...] save the piss-farting about.

piss for it (v.)

to leave at speed, to run away.

1989

C. Jennings Mouthful of Rocks 167: I was up and moving away, pulling my shoes on as I leant out of the tent to move off [...] I pissed for it up the slope towards the road.

piss in (v.)

see separate entry.

piss in a quill (v.) [the narrowness of a quill and the need to bend the flow of urine to achieve the feat]

to agree on a plan.

a.1678		Marvell Poetical Works in Murray (1870) 188: I’ll have a council shall sit always still, And give me a license to do what I will; and two secretaries shall piss through a quill .
1740		R. North Examen 78: So strangely did Papist and Fanatic, or the Anticourt Party, p—s in a Quill; agreeing in all Things that tended to create Troubles and Disturbances .
1953		Randolph & Wilson Down in the Holler 117: When two persons are very intimate and have no secrets from each other, the hillman says that they piss through the same quill.

piss (in) one’s pants (v.)

see separate entry.

piss in someone’s ear and tell them it’s raining (v.) (also pee on someone’s leg, piss all over someone and..., ...down someone’s back..., ...in somone’s face...)

to deceive.

1991		D. Simon Homicide (1993) 580: This motherfucker’s pissing all over us and calling it rain.
1997		J. Sheindlin [bk title] Don't Pee on My Leg and Tell Me It's Raining.
2000		W.T. Vollmann Royal Family 490: Oh, quit pissin’ in my ear and tellin’ me it’s rainin’.
2006		B. Matthews Intractable [ebook] ‘Why don’t you piss down my back and tell me it’s raining, you fucking imbeciles!’.
2012		D. Whish-Wilson ‘In Savage Freedom’ in Crime Factory: Hard Labour [ebook] Don’t piss on my back and tell me it’s raining.
2013		T. Perry [bk title] Piss In My Face and Tell Me It's Raining.

piss in someone’s pocket (v.) (also piss in the same pot, pee...)

1. (Aus.) to curry favour, to be extremely close to someone, to ingratiate oneself.

c.1943		S.J. Baker Aus. Vulgarisms [t/s] 12: piss in someone’s pocket: To crawl or lickspittle.
1967		K. Tennant Tell Morning This 283: Soon’s they knew you was in with Numismata, they all want to piss in your pocket.
1967		K. Tennant Tell Morning This 336: ‘I know how thick you always was with Harold Lish, always pissing in the same pot’.
1970		London Mag. 7-12 40: I’m a dynamic you-piss-in-my-pocket-and-I'll-piss-in-yours personality, taking care of the Mediterranean prawn guzzlings at The Mirabelle.
1971		F.J. Hardy Outcasts of Foolgarah (1975) 83: If we piss in his pocket, he’s just as apt to come our way.
1986		R. Beckett Dinkum Aussie Dict. 41: Piss in the same pot: The same as ‘pee in the same pot’ which is very nearly the same as the Americanism to whit, ‘to piss in someone’s pocket’ [...] In general terms to be a crawler or to suck up to someone.
1986		R.G. Barrett Godson 120: [A] chance to fill Heather full of Dom Perignon and piss in her pocket at the same time.
1988		McGill Dict. of Kiwi Sl. 84/2: piss in someone’s pocket attempt to ingratiate; eg ‘If you want to get in the team you’ll just have to piss in his pocket.’.
1992		R.G. Barrett White Shoes 64: For the amount of pissing in each other’s pockets, they should both have been wearing neoprene suits.
1996		S. Maloney Brush-Off (1998) 154: He’s also engaging in a bit of mutual pocket pissing with Max Karlin.
2001		(con. 1945–6) P. Doyle Devil’s Jump (2008) 184: If this is just another day of glad-handing and pissing in pockets, then, with respect, I don’t [...] want to tag along.
2003		McGill Reed Dict. of N.Z. Sl.
2018		M. Walden [bk title] Don't Piss in My Pockets and Tell Me It's Raining.

2. to deceive, to tell lies; in phr, piss in your pocket and tell you it was raining, to deceive by flattery or ingratiation.

1988		J. Westermann High Crimes 186: Would you like me to piss in your pocket and tell you it's raining?
1989		R.G. Barrett Boys from Binjiwunyawunya 12: Come on. Don’t piss in our pockets.
1998		P. Doyle (con. late 1950s) Amaze Your Friends (2019) 158: ‘The friends were all up front with me.’ [...] ‘They were pissing in your pocket, Bill’.
2008		S. Pollock Coll. Works 109: mrs. farley He’s a good man, Sergeant Windsor. johnny He’d piss in your pocket and swear it was rainin'.

piss in(to) the wind (v.) (also piss against the wind) [the futility thereof]

to waste one’s efforts or time.

1680		M. Stevenson Wits Paraphras’d 8: Peace, Sapho, cease thy idle gabble, / [...] /Thou may (since thou are left behind) / As well go piss against the wind.
1957		G.A. Wagner Rage on the Bar 225: Telling that crummy chum [...] would be about as much use as pissing in the wind.
1966		P. Boyle At Night All Cats Are Grey 249: ‘You’re wrong, Mac,’ I say. ‘As well you might piss against the wind and start calling down Heaven to witness the spatters.’.
1970		E. Pace Saberlegs (1971) 58: Putting words on newspaper pages was, if anything, even more ephemeral than intelligence-gathering. As they used to say at Dartmouth, it was all ‘pissing in the wind’ [OED].
1987		R. Campbell Alice in La-La Land (1999) 60: You can’t be normal to good in certain professions [...] otherwise you’re pissin’ in the wind.
1997		M. Walters Echo 210: He realised that Lawrence’s advice about keeping one step ahead was about as useful as pissing in the wind.
2000		Guardian 17 Sept. 🌐 Rosenthal is pissing in the wind.
2002		Simon & Burns ‘The Target’ Wire ep. 1 [TV script] He’s going to fuck this Barksdale thing up. Buy-busts? It’s pissing in the wind .
2013		K. Koke ‘Fire in the Booth’ 🎵 Your pissing in the wind if you think I'm gonna back down.
2021		Breen & Conlon Hitmen 245: ‘We might as well be [...] pissing into the wind with the information we have’.

piss it (in) (v.) [fig. use of sense 2 above]

to succeed with no difficulty whatsoever, to win very easily.

1982		Barr & York Sloane Ranger Hbk 159: pissed it v. ‘It pissed it’ equals won the horse-race easily.
2001		N. Barlay Hooky Gear 52: I mean, you . . . alright an everything? I mean— Yeah yeah course. Pissed it.
2012		(con. 1943) G.S. Manson Irish Fandango [ebook] ‘Mate, it’s a breeze, you’ll piss it in’.

piss it up (v.) [pissed adj.¹]

to drink.

1963–74		B. Humphries Barry McKenzie [comic strip] in Complete Barry McKenzie (1988) 52: Is that bastard still pissing it up down at the O’Shaughnessys?
1965		L. Dunne Goodbye to The Hill (1966) 185: The fact that she never mentioned drink left me thinking that he was pissing it up.
1998		I. Welsh Filth 29: I’m with that auld cunt Gus who won’t piss it up on duty.
2000		J.J. Connolly Layer Cake 91: They spend their lives pissin it up and greetin in their beer.
2012		M. Lacher On the Bro’d 27: [T]hey fistbumped with everybody. ‘Piss it up, bros!’.
2018		C. Hammer Scrublands [ebook] ‘I was packed off to Geelong, back sometimes on holidays to ride horses and, when I was older, to piss it up at the pub’.

piss it up the wall (v.) (also piss it against the wall, ...on the wall, ...out of the window, piss money...) [the cost of a drink lost through urinating afterwards]

to waste money, usu. on drink.

1471		G. Ripley Compound of Alchymy V xxxi in Ashmole Theatrum Chemicum Britannicum (1652) 155: But as for Mony yt ys pyssyd on the walls [OED].
1592		Nashe Strange Newes in Works (1904–10) 287: A good fellowe hee was, and would have drunke with thee for more angels then the Lord thou libeldst on gave thee in Christs Colledge; and in one yeare pist as much against the walls, as thou and thy two brothers spent in three.
1788, 1796		Grose Classical Dict. of the Vulgar Tongue (2nd, 3rd edn) n.p.: He shall not piss my money against the wall; he shall not have my money to spend in liquor.
1811		Lex. Balatronicum.
1823		Egan Grose’s Classical Dict. of the Vulgar Tongue.
1963		D. Robert Look at Me Now 114: They only go an’ piss it up against a wall when they've got it.
1965		G. Melly Owning Up (1974) 146: He didn’t drink. ‘Don’t see no point in it,’ he explained. ‘Pissing all you get up against a wall.’.
1980		Barltrop & Wolveridge Muvver Tongue 92: A habitually boozy married man is judged severely. He is a ‘piss-tank’ – more explicitly, ‘he pisses his money up against the wall’.
1986–7		Maledicta IX 161: In the U.K. one may hear of [...] piss money against the wall (squander), piss pins and needles (from the sting of gonorrheal infection), pisser (vagina, or anything unpleasant), pissing while (a moment), etc.
1989		J. Morton Lowspeak 113: Piss it out of the window – to waste money.
2000		Indep. on Sun. Culture 19 Mar. 14: I mean to say, if all we can sing about is pissing loads of money up the wall, the whole genre should go under the Hammerstein.
2017		T. Spicer Good Girl Stripped Bare 122: If you give [money] to men, they’ll piss it up the wall on gambing and drinking.

piss off

see separate entries.

piss on (v.)

1. see separate entry.

2. (Aus.) to drink heavily.

2021

C. Hammer Opal Country 42: ‘[S]omeone who’s had a strike [...] made some money—bought a new car, or is pissing on at the pub’.

piss one’s breeches (v.)

see piss (in) one’s pants v. (1)

piss oneself (v.)

see separate entry.

piss one’s juice (v.)

of a man, to ejaculate, to achieve orgasm.

c.1900

‘Ramrod’ Nocturnal Meeting 62: Your cunt [...] doesn’t seem so bad and I daresay it will do as well to piss my juice in as another.

piss one’s tallow (v.) [SE piss one’s grease/tallow, said of a deer becoming lean in rutting-time]

of a man, to be sufficiently sexually excited as to ejaculate (without actual intercourse).

c.1597		Shakespeare Merry Wives of Windsor V iii: Send me a cool rut-time, Jove or who can blame me to piss my tallow?
1678		J. Ray Proverbs (2nd edn) 78: He has pist his tallow. This is spoken of bucks who grow lean after rutting time, and may be applied to men.

piss on ice (v.)

(US) to live well, esp. to visit an upmarket restaurant (where blocks of ice are placed in the urinals).

1993

(ref. to 1920s) I.L. Allen City in Sl. (1995) 70: To visit such an elegant establishment, it was said among men by the 1920s, was to piss on ice, because of the old practice of fine places to put blocks of ice in the urinals to give continuous flush and keep down the odor.

piss on one’s chips (and tell them it’s vinegar) (v.)

to annoy, irritate; to undermine, to destroy.

1976		P. Callow Story of My Desire 48: The bastards who run this country [...] I’d like to piss on their chips once and for all.
2000		Zoetrope: Short Stories 71/1: Do you understand? [...] You didn’t just piss on my chips, Fred, you pissed on my steak and I’m the kind of person to whom steak is [...] very important.
2011		L. Daley Faking It [ebook] ‘You have the face of an angel’ [...] ‘Yes, well, I look great, please don’t piss on my chips’.
2012		J. Harvey All She Wants [ebook] ‘Don’t piss on my chips, Jodie! We’ll discuss it tomorrow’.
2013		R. Banks Cal Innes Omnibus 379: ‘We might not get on [...] but that doesn’t mean I need to piss on his chips and tell him it’s vinegar, know what I mean?’.
2024		X 30 June 🌐 Calling all decent people in NW Essex and Fareham .... please piss on their [i.e. the Conservatives] chips and vote tactically.

piss on someone’s grave (v.)

to exhibit complete contempt for.

1950		V.R. Garfias Garf from Mexico 119: I’d piss on his grave if it was on fire.
1956		(con. pre-1948) H.L. Mencken q. in AngoffA Portrait from Memory 232: [Mencken] luaghed again. ‘I suggested that we all poiss on his grave’.
1959		(con. WW2) G. Hendryx Semper Fi! 182: I’ll live to see the day that I’ll piss on your grave.
1967		H. Travers Voyage Sixty-Nine 318: I’m as strong as a n ox [...] I’ll live to piss on your grave.
1975		E. Torres Carlito’s Way 88: ‘Reggie? I know you’d piss on his grave in a minute, Lloyd’.

piss on someone’s parade (v.)

see under piss on v.

piss or get off the pot

(orig. US) either make a decision or let someone else do it; note euph. var. in cit. 1982.

1951		R.M. Nixon comment to Dwight Eisenhower [oral record] General—there comes a time when you have to piss or get off the pot!
1951		G. Kersh Thousand Deaths of Mr Small 334: Mister — either piss or get off the pot!
1953		L. Uris Battle Cry (1964) 26: Aw, piss or get off the pot.
1961		G. Allen Forbidden Man 26: What I say, they ought to piss or get off the pot. Ain’t — isn’t — that what you say, Professor?
1974		(con. 1960s) R. Price Wanderers 105: When it looked like piss or get off the pot, he would insult the girl [...] and she would get mad and split.
1982		J. Sullivan ‘A Losing Streak’ Only Fools and Horses [TV script] Well, Del, do something or get off the pot.
1999		G. Seal Lingo 125: The Lingo is continually inventing new convolutions and permutations and as more than enough has been said on this piss-ant subject it is clearly time to piss or get off the pot.
2002		R. Globerman Say Uncle 172: You wanna learn about sex? Get yourself a woman. How the hell else ya gonna learn? I mean, piss or get off the pot!
2009		L. McIlvanney All the Colours 12: I hit ‘delete’ [...] Piss or get off the pot, Mr Neil.
2019		Guardian 22 Mar. 🌐 The terms of the extension [...] contain a message from the EU direct to the House of Commons. In crude terms: piss or get off the pot.
2021		P Howard Braywatch 32: ‘I didn’t mean to piss on your parade’.

piss on the fire (and call [in/off] the dogs) (v.)

(US) to bring something to a close.

1952		T. Lea Wonderful Country 100: It’s time for the old Charco Mail Stage, Joe Wakefield, Proprietor, to piss on the fire and call the dogs.
1969		J. Kimbrough Defender of the Angels 71: ‘Baby,’ she purred [...] ‘You can piss on the fire and call off the dogs ’cause we’ve hunted the woods all night’.
1972		D. Jenkins Semi-Tough 127: We probably won’t even look at any more film [...] because Shoat Cooper has already said, ‘The hunt’s over. It’s time to piss on the fire and call in the dogs’.
1982		S. Toperoff in Inside Sports June 51: When I knew the game was won, I’d say to myself, ‘Piss on the fire and call in the dogs, the hunt's over’.
1999		G.F. Will Bunts 318: As Whitey Herzog memorably put it, ‘If you don’t have outstanding relief pitching, you might as well piss on the fire and call in the dogs’.

piss out of a dozen holes (v.) [i.e. the rotting of one’s penis]

of a man, to be infected with syphilis.

1984

Partridge DSUE (8th edn) 890/2: [...] late C.19–20.

piss pins and needles (v.) [pain during urination can be one of the symptoms of venereal disease]

to have venereal disease, esp. gonorrhoea.

c.1786		Grose Classical Dict. of the Vulgar Tongue ms. additions n.p.: To Piss Pins & Needles, to have a Gonorrhoea.
1788, 1796		Grose Classical Dict. of the Vulgar Tongue (2nd, 3rd edn) n.p.: Pissing Pins and Needles. To have a gonorrhea.
1811		Lex. Balatronicum.
1823		Egan Grose’s Classical Dict. of the Vulgar Tongue.
1986–7		Maledicta IX 161: In the U.K. one may hear of [...] piss money against the wall (squander), piss pins and needles (from the sting of gonorrheal infection), pisser (vagina, or anything unpleasant), pissing while (a moment), etc.

piss razor blades (v.)

see piss broken glass

piss through (v.) [fig. use of sense 2 above]

1. to do something with no difficulty.

1934		H. Roth Call It Sleep (1977) 411: I could piss troo a beer-bottle then.
1977		(con. 1940s) O. Manning Danger Tree 131: For Marshal Timoshenko’s men / Are pissing through von Bock.

2. to use up (wastefully).

2014

D.B. Flowers Bangs 271: Not surprisingly, Brother had pissed through most of his Depositors Trust earnings.

piss up

see separate entries.

piss up a rope (v.)

(US) to be engaged in a futile exercise.

1985		(con. 1968) D.A. Dye Citadel (1989) 82: What did it all mean in the end? Fart in a whirlwind. Pissing up a picket rope. Hopeless.
2023		F. Bill Back to the Dirt 242: ‘Knox, you’re pissing up a rope’.

piss up a storm (v.)

(US) to complain strongly, to make a major fuss.

2002		Journal on SomeLittleWing.net 8 Jun. 🌐 A friend came over and helped me take D to see Star Wars: Attack of the Clones. D was going to piss up a storm if he weren’t able to see it in the theatre.
2012		N. Baker Delusions 80: She could still piss up a storm, she could still be frightened.

piss up someone’s back (v.)

see piss down someone’s back

piss up someone’s leg (v.)

(US) to lie, to deceive.

1991

D. Simon Homicide (1993) 614: You’re a lying piece of shit [...] You’re pissing up my leg here.

piss when one cannot whistle (v.) [the loss of bladder control that results from being hanged]

to be hanged.

1785, 1788, 1796		Grose Classical Dict. of the Vulgar Tongue n.p.: Piss. He will piss when he can’t whistle; he will be hanged.
1811		Lex. Balatronicum [as cit. 1785].
1823		Egan Grose’s Classical Dict. of the Vulgar Tongue.

think it’s just to piss through (v.)

see think it’s just to pee through under pee v.

wouldn’t piss on someone if they were on fire

a phr. implying the speaker’s absolute contempt or loathing for the person thus decried.

1984		in Maledicta VIII 238: I wouldn’t piss in his ass if his guts were on fire.
1992		R.G. Barrett White Shoes 258: The press hated her [...] and wouldn’t piss on her if she was on fire.
1998		B. Glikin Slinger Sanchez Running Gun 40: I wouldn’t piss on them motherfuckers’ teeth if their mouths was on fire.
2003		C. Dixon Behind Closed Doors 58: I wouldn’t piss on their asses if they were both on fire.
2010		D. Mason Marching With the Devil 20: Have you looked around at the kind of people who are here? I’m telling you that we wouldn’t piss on 90 per cent of them if they were on fire.
2017		T. Pluck Bad Boy Boogie [ebook] ‘Mine, I wouldn’t piss on ’em if they were on fire, not unless I was pissing gasoline’.
2020		A. Parks Bobby March Will Live Forever 27: ‘I wouldn’t cross the street to piss on him if he was on fire’.

In exclamations

go (and) piss up a rope! (also go piss up a flagpole! ...pipe! ...shutter! one’s kilt! ...your leg!)

1. (orig. US) a general excl. of dismissal.

1939		H. Miller Tropic of Capricorn (1964) 153: He would give her a clout and tell her to go piss up the end of a rope.
1959		C. MacInnes Absolute Beginners 145: Ed [...] you can go and p—s up your leg.
1961		(con. early 1950s) J. Peacock Valhalla 21: That’s about as useless as pissin’ up a rope.
1966		F. Elli Riot (1967) 218: He told me to go piss up a rope.
1971		(con. WWII) B. Aldiss Soldier Erect 270: Away and piss up your kilt, Jock!
1972		K. Bonfiglioli Don’t Point That Thing at Me (1991) 53: The Foreign Office told me to go and piss up my kilt.
1978		S. Longstreet Straw Boss (1979) 296: Go piss up a rope, mister.
1980		G. Liddy Will 134: When the United States and Mexico met [. . .] the Mexicans, using diplomatic language of course, told us to go piss up a rope.
1996		Dean Ween ‘Piss Up a Rope’ 🎵 Now you’re up shits creek with a turd for a paddle / [...] / You can piss up a rope.
1999		Observer Rev. 20 June 4: I told him to sling his hook and piss up a rope.
2000		A. Sloley ‘Tapers Revenge’ at DigitalExperience.com 🌐 If a librarian asks you what the hell you’re doing, tell her to go piss up a flagpole and continue your task.
2002		I. Duff ‘The Solaris X86 Mailing List’ on Yahoo! Groups 🌐 Virtually any other vendor would have essentially told us to go piss up a pipe, and moved on.
2005		posting at thinkprogress.org 11 Oct. 🌐 Until the DONK LOSERS who run that shit-hole we call Louisiana asks him for the extension you might as well piss up a rope.
2013		T. Robinson Hard Bounce [ebook] ‘So you can cut the shit and talk to me straight or you can go piss up a rope’.

2. attrib. use of sense 1.

1986

S. King It (1987) 42: He was in a real piss-up-a-rope mood because he took this pill, you know?

piss around a pretzel!

(US) a dismissive excl.

1970

D. Ponicsan Last Detail 168: ‘Piss around a pretzel!’ yells Mule and slams the door behind him.