Green’s Dictionary of Slang

tit n.2

[SE tit is an archaic var. sp. of teat]

1. a breast, usu. a woman’s; usu. in pl.; thus titless adj.

[UK]Fast Man 10:1 n.p.: TIT BITS FOR GENTLEMEN. Eight racy plates, a la Francaise, price 1s. SPICE NUTS. A charming collection of eight delicious pictures, especially adapted for Bachelors' Parties, price 1s.
[US] in T.P. Lowry Stories the Soldiers Wouldn’t Tell (1994) 28: My scout party met up with four titless half-breed girls.
[UK] ‘The Queen & Louise’ in Bold (1979) 190: You may whimper a bit, but on no account shit / Though he mangles your tits to a jelly.
[US] in Randolph & Legman Ozark Folksongs and Folklore (1992) I 121: Tickle my tits and belly, / Smell my slimey slough.
[UK](con. 1916) F. Manning Her Privates We (1986) 45: Mademoiselle, she bought a cow, Parley-voo / To milk the brute she didn’t know how, Parley-voo, / She pulled the tail instead of the tit.
[Aus]D. Stivens Tramp and Other Stories 189: When she gets tits as big as Jo’s you won’t be able to keep her away.
[US](con. 1944) N. Mailer Naked and Dead 22: Little-tit librarian, he would spit on her now.
[Ire]J.P. Donleavy Ginger Man (1958) 165: I want a woman with awful big tits and arse. Biggest tits and arse in whoredom.
[UK]T. Keyes All Night Stand 25: I asked who Sue was. ‘The one with the big tits.’.
[UK]P. Theroux Family Arsenal 92: I’m not much to look at. My tits don’t stick out.
[UK]‘John le Carré’ Honourable Schoolboy 388: [of a man] ‘Take those Commie stars off your tits.’.
[Aus]R.G. Barrett Real Thing 162: He was all puffed-up tits and biceps squeezed into a white T-shirt.
[US]C. Hiaasen Skin Tight 32: I did a Penthouse tryout and the photog makes some crack about my tits.
[US](con. 1970s) G. Pelecanos King Suckerman (1998) 40: You ever see a Chinese broad with such a beautiful set of tits?
[UK]Indep. on Sun. Rev. 23 Jan. 5: If you’ve got tits, you’re not doing it right.
[UK]N. Griffiths Grits 148: [of a man] Ah can feel me tits jigglun abou’ undurr me shurrt an ah doan like ut.
[US]D. Winslow Winter of Frankie Machine (2007) 71: You’ve been looking at my tits all night, Frankie. They’re nice, aren’t they?
[Aus]L. Redhead Cherry Pie [ebook] ‘Grow some tits and I might be interested’.
[UK]K. Richards Life 68: Some lovely old fat Sidcup lady with her clothes off - oooh way hay tits!
[Aus]T. Spicer Good Girl Stripped Bare 18: Teenage boys are obsessed with tits.

2. (orig. milit.) anything considered to resemble a breast or, more often, the nipple, e.g. a button or a small switch etc.

[UK](con. WWI) R. Graves Goodbye to All That (1960) 164: A new gas-helmet, popularly known as ‘the goggle-eyed booger with the tit.’.
[UK]G. Gibson Enemy Coast Ahead (1955) 152: When you press the tit a flash-bomb goes off at the same time.
[UK]Galton & Simpson ‘Christmas 1973’ Steptoe and Son [TV script] I haven’t blown the balloons up [...] Me lungs aren’t what they used to be. I can’t even inflate the tit on the end of the sausage ones.
[UK]Guardian 25 Jan. 18: It’s just a big tit on the landscape built by wanky tossers.

3. (also nipple) in fig. use, something on which one ‘feeds’, e.g. a hand-out, a government grant [suggests the simplicity of a child’s finding its mother’s breast].

[US]M. Shulman Rally Round the Flag, Boys! (1959) 169: You got the right idea, boy: stay on the government tit.
[US]H.S. Thompson letter 25 Nov. in Proud Highway (1997) 423: My congratulations on your success with the Great Nipple [money].
[US]G.V. Higgins Friends of Eddie Coyle (1973) 53: But I’m on the government tit, too.
[US](con. c.1970) G. Hasford Phantom Blooper 27: You the little-boy king of Fat City in Viet Nam, you livin’ off the tit.
[US]R. Price Clockers 38: Whatever township, city or political tit that had been their point of origin.

4. something extremely simple and usu. rewarding, esp. a criminal scheme.

[US]Baker et al. CUSS 210: Tit [...] Easy course.
[US]J. Sayles Union Dues (1978) 380: You’re doin the right thing, Hunt. That steel, that’s a tit.
[UK](con. 1960) P. Theroux My Secret Hist. (1990) 116: I know where you can make an easy twenty-five [...] It’s a tit.

5. the nipple.

[UK]Oz 3 2/4: Swinging, separated breasts surmounted with ripe, red tits.
[US]D. Goines Street Players 35: Your tit is as hard as a rock.
[UK]J. Cameron Vinnie Got Blown Away 143: Undid my shirt kissed my chest, did it again stomach and shoulders, bit my tits.

6. (also bluetit) an English police helmet [resemblance].

OnLine Dict. of Playground Sl. [Internet] (blue...) tit n. Alternate name for a British Policeman’s helmet. f. pointy shape with nipple like protruberance on top.

In derivatives

titsy (adj.)

(US) featuring bare-breasted women; having attractive breasts.

[US]L. Heinemann Close Quarters (1987) 139: His nose in one of those titsy, he-man pulp magazines.
[US]L. Heinemann Paco’s Story (1987) 43: One of those waxy-looking, titsy little Kewpie-doll air freshners.

In compounds

tit-bag (n.) [SE bag. Note synon. naut. use tit-hammock]

1. a brassiere.

[US]Spears Sl. and Euph.
[Aus]G. Greer Madwoman’s Underclothes 102: On horseback, even I wear a tit-bag.

2. a term of abuse.

[UK]P. & I. Opie Lore and Lang. of Schoolchildren 189: In Liverpool [...] they name him a ‘tit-bag.’.
posting at groups.google.co.uk 1 Aug. [Internet] You complete and utter headfucked tit-bag.
tit fuck

see separate entries.

tithead (n.) [sense 1/sense 6]

1. a general term of abuse.

[UK]M. Amis London Fields 446: Just a kid. In a uniform. Fucking tithead.
[UK]K. Sampson Powder 5: Slipped up there, tithead.

2. a weakling.

[UK]K. Sampson Awaydays 107: Our damien. He’s only a little tithead. No threat to no one.

3. an English policeman.

[UK]J. Morton Lowspeak.
OnLine Dict. of Playground Sl. [Internet] tit-head n. derog. rude name for a policeman f. their hats which are a pointy shape with nipple like protruberance on top circa.
tit-kisser (n.)

(US) a womanizer.

[US]Maledicta 1 (Summer) 10: One was once insulted by being accused of [...] being [...] a chippy-chaser, a cunt-hound, [...] or even a tit-kisser, which really just means a seducer.
titless wonder (n.)

(orig. RAF) a flat-chested woman.

[UK]Partridge DSUE (8th edn) 1240: [...] since ca. 1930.
[Can]M. Atwood Cat’s Eye (1989) 347: A woman artist can get admired by them only as a sideline, a sort of freaky exception. ‘Titless wonders,’ says Jody.
tit man (n.) (also tits man)

a man who finds a woman’s breasts her most appealing feature; as opposed to an ass-man under ass n.

[US](con. 1930s) R. Barber Night They Raided Minsky’s (1968) 260: ‘Why don’t she take off the top part and give a look at her knockers?’ ‘You got one track onna mind, Joe. Maybe everyone else ain’t such a big tit man as you.’.
[US]N. Thornburg Cutter and Bone (2001) 195: ‘Yeah, they’re pretty great [...] All thirty-four inches.’ ‘I’m not a tits man.’.
[US]S. King It (1987) 113: She had [...] the best set of tits he had ever seen. Tom Rogan was a tit-man, always had been.
[UK]Guardian 27 Nov. 25/8: Was not Rubens a Tit and Bum man?
[US]T. Jones Pugilist at Rest 131: J.Z. was a tit man and [...] his big bitch was the fact that my mother breast-fed me, causing hers to soften up.
[NZ]McGill Reed Dict. of N.Z. Sl. 213: tits and bums man One who trumpets the attractiveness of women with prominent breasts and buttocks.
tit-off (n.)

(Aus.) the caressing of a woman’s breasts.

[Aus]Lette & Carey Puberty Blues 23: He’d lead you outside for a pash on the front fence, or [...] a ‘tit-off’ down the other end of the hall.
tit-proud (adj.)

(N.Z.) of a woman, proud of one’s breasts.

Numbers five May 16: This is no question to obsess his heart while juke box melodies can graph a tit-proud blonde to tickle up desire.
tits and arse

see under tits and ass.

tits and ass

see separate entries.

tit show (n.)

a burlesque or striptease show.

[US]T. Wolfe Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test (1969) 11: Dentists here for the convention browsed in search of the beatniks between tit shows.
[UK]S. Berkoff East in Decadence and Other Plays (1985) 81: We’ll protect their bit of trade, / The hard porn and tit shows.
[US]W. Diehl Hooligans (2003) 45: You stand out like a blind man at a tit show.
tit spanners (n.) [the image of a man groping a woman’s breasts in an ungainly fashion]

(S.Afr.) the hands, not necessarily in a sexual context.

OnLine Dict. of Playground Sl. [Internet] tit spanners n. hands ‘Keep your tit spanners off my lunch!’.
tit-sucker (n.)

(US) a weak, babyish person.

[US]C. Willingham End as a Man (1952) 73: The reason is you’re a yellow tit-sucker.
tit-wank (n.) [wank n. (1)]

1. an act of intercourse in which the man rubs his penis between the woman’s breasts.

titwanker posting at Urban Dict. 10 Apr. 2003 [Internet] titwank The act of pleasuring oneself by thrusting the erect member between a generous pair of bristols. Typically concludes with the delivery of a pearl necklace. Phwoaar! She’s got a shirtfull. I’d love a good titwank in those.

2. a general term of abuse.

Shizzle Fo Real Urban Dict. [Internet] titwank a.k.a. Spud. Defining the utmost stupidity and worthlessness of someone, also used as a generic pronound [sic] to insult someone in the aforementionned known-as. Originally mentionned by ‘Banzai.’ You’re welcome titwank. Fuck off, titwank.

In phrases

all tits and teeth (adj.)

used to describe a woman who capitalizes on her physical charms, esp. her smile and (presumably) large breasts, to make up for the lack of more subtle attractions; sometimes expanded by ...like a third-row chorus-girl.

[UK]Sun. Mirror n.p.: I was sharing the slot with a very sexy looking black cabaret artiste. All tits and teeth and a lousy voice.
[UK]Partridge DSUE (8th edn) 15/1: since ca. 1910.
www.filethirteen.com [Internet] Denise Richards is all tits. And teeth. She has nothing else to offer here. Her performance is laughable.
[Aus]Sydney Morning Herald 18 Aug. n.p.: And then there is Rose, the ghastly Rose. I met her once, in a radio studio [...] She came at me all tits and teeth, like a Manila bar girl.
bit of tit (n.) [SE bit]

1. a woman regarded as a sex object.

[UK]D.S. Leslie Two Gentlemen Sharing 201: Nice bit of tit. Who is she?
[UK]A. Sinclair Magog 39: Nice bit of tit, her. Got it made, ain't you, cocko?
[UK]Partridge DSUE (8th edn) 84/2: since ca. 1920.
[UK]J. Cameron Vinnie Got Blown Away 30: That Noreen, not just the most beautiful bit of tit you ever saw, body like Whitney Houston.
[UK]I. Welsh Glue 33: Thir is a barry bit ay tit thair awright.

2. sexual intercourse.

[UK]Partridge DSUE (8th edn) 84/2: since ca. 1920.
bushel of tits (n.)

(US) a woman with large breasts.

[US]C. Loken Come Monday Morning 63: If she didn’t show that bushel ’a tits down at the end would do.
full tit (n.) [i.e. the image of pressing hard on a button or switch]

(N.Z.) the greatest possible effort.

[NZ]McGill Dict. of Kiwi Sl. 47/1: full tit maximum effort, usually from a car; eg ‘I gave her full tit, man, and we were still only doin’ 70.’.
[NZ]McGill Reed Dict. of N.Z. Sl. [as cit. 1988].
get one’s tits in a twist (v.) (also …in a knot, ...in a tangle, …in a wringer)

(US) to be upset, to be in a frightening situation (cf. get one’s knickers in a twist under knickers n.).

[Aus]Tracks (Aus.) Oct. 3: We really got our tits in a twist when we read about you DY locals owning the point [Moore 1993].
[NZ]H. Beaton Outside In I i: Now don’t get your tits in a tangle.
[US](con. 1968) D.A. Dye Citadel (1989) 36: Figures them Doggies would get their tits in a wringer.
[US]Alt. Eng. Dict. [Internet] one’s tits in a knot be upset, used as a complement of ‘get’, ‘have’, ‘keep, etc.: ‘John got his tits in a knot and he kept them there.’.
[US](con. 1964–8) J. Ellroy Cold Six Thousand 20: Wait now — don’t get your tits in a twist.
[US]C. Stella Charlie Opera 3: You ever hear of getting your tit in a ringer [...] Because that’s what this could be like.
[US]W. Bell Easy Money 159: ‘No need to get your tits in a tangle.’ ‘You know I hate you calling him a wop,’ she snapped.
get one’s tits out (v.) [the image of a woman revealing her breasts both as a gesture of her own lack of inhibition and as a display for male delectation, esp. in phr. ‘get your tits out for the lads!’]

to act in an uninhibited manner; usu. of a woman, but not necessarily so.

[UK]N. Cohn Yes We have No 186: She [...] really taught me to get my tits out.
[UK]Indep. 21 June 3: We drank 16 bottles of champagne last year [...] And then a girl got her tits out for us.
get on someone’s tits (v.) (also …teats, … tit, …tit-ends)

to infuriate, to annoy.

[UK]M. Harrison Spring in Tartarus 327: It isn’t you, Holy Jesus, that I’m rorting at. But honestly, this sort of tommy just gets on my teats.
[Aus]D. Stivens Jimmy Brockett 121: Her mother picked on Sadie the whole time. [...] It got on my tit.
[UK]P. Wildeblood Way of Life 143: You fair get on my tits.
[UK]G.W. Target Teachers (1962) 188: They get on my tit-ends, they do, straight.
[UK]J. Mandelkau Buttons 47: I don’t mind the Old Testament so much [...] but the New Testament gets on my tits.
[UK]P. Theroux Family Arsenal 25: Now get off my tits.
[UK]W. Russell Educating Rita I iii: This Forster, honest to God he doesn’t half get on my tits.
[UK]Observer Mag. 31 Oct. 21: They’re always trying to make contact, and it gets on my tits.
[UK]J. Joso Soothing Music for Stray Cats 13: The whole thing had been getting on Trudy’s tits.
[UK](con. 1980s) I. Welsh Skagboys 336: I gotta say that he’s getting right on my farking tits.
have one’s tit in a tight crack (v.)

(Can.) to find oneself in trouble, in an unpleasant situation.

[UK]Partridge DSUE (8th edn) 1240: [...] low Can.: since ca. 1920.
have one’s tit in a wringer (v.) (also get one’s tit caught in a/the wringer)

(US) to be in difficulties, to be foolish.

[US]J. Jones From Here to Eternity (1998) 859: I aint had so much fun since grandmaw got her tit caught in the wringer.
[US]J. Garrett And Save Them for Pallbearers 179: ’Don’t get your tit caught in a wringer.’ ‘Screw you; come back after chow’ .
[US]G.V. Higgins Friends of Eddie Coyle (1973) 63: He’s got this kind of a tense expression [...] like he thinks maybe he’s got his tit caught in the wringer.
[US]J. Mitchell to Carl Bernstein 31 May in Bernstein & Woodward All the President’s Men (1974) 105: All that crap, you’re putting it in the paper? It’s all been denied. Katie Graham’s gonna get her tit caught in a big fat wringer if that’s published.
[US]R. Campbell Wizard of La-La Land (1999) 194: You watch it or your tit’s going to be in the wringer.
[NZ]McGill Reed Dict. of N.Z. Sl. 99: haven’t laughed so much since Granny got her tit caught in the wringer Grossly amused.
keep one’s tits (tied) on (v.) [var. on keep one’s hair on v.]

(US) to be patient.

[SA]P. Hotz Muzukuru 28: ‘Hell, keep your tits tied on,’ I chune her.
[US]Alt. Eng. Dict. [Internet] one’s tits on (prepositional phrase, a small clause; idiom). be patient. Used as a complement of ‘keep, etc.: ‘John kept his tits on.’ .
[UK]Z. Smith White Teeth n.p.: ‘There’s shoes back here that need your attention,’ came a voice from the store room. ‘Keep your tits on,’ said Neena.
lick tits (v.)

(UK black) to run errands and perform small tasks.

[UK] in R. Graef Living Dangerously 169: Aged nine, my little nephew is lickin’ tits.
living off the tit

living in luxury, overly protected.

[US]T. Whitmore Memphis-Nam-Sweden (1997) 94: My buddies were getting shot up in the Nam while these dudes are living off the tit in Japan.
‘Unions Suck’ ‘Talk to the Station’ WNLI FM [Internet] Unfortunately there are too many people living off the tit of the government that if that were to happen would just resort to crime or die.
not give a fish’s tit (v.) (also not give a rat’s tit)

not to care in the slightest.

[Ire](con. 1940s) B. Behan Borstal Boy 22: Who would give a fish’s tit about you.
[US](con. 1950) E. Frankel Band of Brothers 31: I don’t give a rat’s tit that he’s black.
[Ire](con. 1940s) B. Behan Confessions 105: I don’t give a fish’s tit what she is.
[UK]Q. Jardine Fatal Last Words n.p.: If the bosses say that my investigation has effectively become part of yours [...] I do not give a fish’s tit.
[UK]R. Hudson Kilburn Social Club 382: You might not give a fish’s tit about football's preening layabouts.
off one’s tits (adj.) (also out of one’s tits)

1. intoxicated by drugs.

[US]L. Kramer Faggots 247: Winnie Heinz — in his half-naked Indian costume and further angel-dusted out of his tits.
[US]Spin Apr. 84/1: Cook— better known as Fatboy Slim— is also ‘off his tits,’ having knocked back a naughty pill of Ecstasy just before going onstage.
[Ire]P. Howard PS, I Scored the Bridesmaids 149: The dude was coked off his tits.
[SA]A. Lovejoy Acid Alex 164: The way to smoke a white pipe is to just hit it once as hard as possible and hold it. And hold it. And rush off your tits.
[UK]S. Portnoy Butcher, Baler, Candlestick Maker 43: A guy I met - cute but off his tits on coke - suggested group sex.
[Aus]L. Redhead Thrill City [ebook] Call back when you’ve straightened out. Yes you are, you’re off your tits.

2. very drunk.

[UK]J. Poller Reach 18: Last night, I was absolutely off my tits at that awful cocktail thing at Clare.
[UK]J. Hawes Dead Long Enough 9: Samuel Pepys had, according to his diary, a quick Sherman during the sermon while off his tits on sherry.
[Ire]P. Howard PS, I Scored the Bridesmaids 26: It could have been anything [...] because I was off my tits.
[Aus]L. Redhead Peepshow [ebook] Chloe and me had been rampaging around, off our tits.
[Aus]J.J. Borg Deadly Friends 257: Two or three sips and he was off his tits, one glass and he was out cold.
[US]S. King Finders Keepers (2016) 75: He could see himself in a bar [...] drunk off his tits.

3. an intensifier, meaning extremely bored.

[Ire]J. O’Connor Salesman 309: I was bored outta me tits.
[Ire]P. Howard Miseducation of Ross O’Carroll-Kelly (2004) 98: I’m bored off my tits at this stage.
[Ire]P. Howard Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nightdress 25: I was bored off my tits.
…one’s tits off (adv.)

a general intensifer.

[UK]N. Griffiths Grits 437: Buzzin me tits off, legs fucked from dancin awl night, drums still bangin in me ears.
[SA]K. Cage Gayle 93/2: scream your tits off v. have a good time (It was the best party ever. We screamed our tits off).
[UK]J. Niven Kill Your Friends (2009) 47: ‘How’s the album coming?’ [...] ‘It’s gonna blow your fucking tits off’.
[Aus]T. Spicer Good Girl Stripped Bare 29: The previous week I’d frozen my tits off after she confisacted my only cardie.
on someone’s tit (adv.)

(US campus) pursuing, lit. or fig, thus being annoying.

[US]P. Munro Sl. U. 31: be on my tit to be persistently pursuing me (especially sexually; used by a female speaker).
on the hind tit (adj.)

feeling angry, aggrieved.

[US]H. McCoy Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye in Four Novels (1983) 136: How do you think those guys feel? I been on the hind tit myself.
on the tit (adj.)

(Aus.) dependent.

[Aus]P. Temple Broken Shore (2007) [ebook] I’m a late starter, still got two kids on the tit.
pull someone’s tit (v.)

(Aus./N.Z.) to tease.

[UK]D. Davin For the Rest of Our Lives 331: Don’t get knotted, Franky boy. I’m just pulling your tit.
[NZ]G. Slatter Gun in My Hand 194: Is Croxley going the same way? Or is he pulling my tit?
[UK](con. 1940s) G. Dutton Andy 42: By Saint Peter the Patron Saint of Service Police may the breath of hell reach up and smite me if I pull thy tit.
[NZ]McGill Dict. of Kiwi Sl. 88/2: pull someone’s tit to make a fool of or tease.
[NZ]McGill Reed Dict. of N.Z. Sl. [as cit. 1988].
put someone’s tits in a tangle (v.)

(Aus.) to discomfit, to embarrass, to irritate someone.

[NZ]McGill Reed Dict. of N.Z. Sl. 213: tits in a tangle In difficulty [...] Refers to the problems associated with the clothes mangle attached to washing machines in the days before spin-drying. ANZ.
set of tits (n.)

a sexually attractive woman.

[US]J. Wambaugh Choirboys (1976) 240: Take a look at the set of tits works the perfume counter [...] Dynamite!
suck (the) hind tit (v.) (also suck hind titty)(US)

1. to be inferior, to take a secondary role; thus hind tit n., bad, unfair treatment.

[US] ‘Fifth Ozark Word List’ in AS XIII:4 Dec. 314/2: suck the hind tit v.phr. To get the worst of everything.
[US]H. McCoy Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye in Four Novels (1983) 130: ‘What’s going on, Ray?’ he asked. ‘The same thing that’s been going on for years. We’re still sucking the hind tit.’.
[US]J. Jones From Here to Eternity (1998) 218: That sort of leaves you suckin hind tit [...] Don’t it?
[US]S. Bellow Augie March (1996) 158: I seen she’s been trying to make you suck hind titty. But the thing is why you let her.
[US]W. Murray Sweet Ride 170: Go suck hind tit.
[US]H. Selby Jr Demon (1979) 100: I [...] aint to be sucking hind tit around here. Im on my way.
[US](con. 1970) S. Wright Meditations in Green (1985) 155: ‘I don’t know,’ said Captain Miller to Claypool. ‘This was where you were supposed to strut your stuff [...] And us sucking hind tit on body count.’.
[US]A.D. Brown News-Daze 27: If you get any more crap from the agencies, tell them they'll be sucking hind tit when it comes to preferential buys this fall.
[US]D. Wright Blood on the Bluegrass 93: As raw recruits, they would be left sucking hind tit.

2. to curry favour.

[US](con. 1920s) J. Thompson South of Heaven (1994) 204: I told him he could go suck hind titty from a tumblebug.
[US]G.V. Higgins Rat on Fire (1982) 3: He is sucking every minority and majority hind tit he can find.
sugar tit (n.) (also sugar titty)

(US) something comforting, someone desirable.

[UK]E. Pound letter 14 Feb. in Read Letters to James Joyce (1968) 25: Also, as you see, the S.S. is disposed in your favour IF you have any sugar tits for ’em.
[US]N. Algren Somebody in Boots 118: I’ll give you a nice job. Easy. Soft. You know? Soft as sugar-titty. You like sugar-titty, sonny?
[US]W. Guthrie Seeds of Man (1995) 270: I’m a-itcherin’ my pants off ta chew chaw on that there little ole sugar tit Rinny.
[US](con. 1940s) I. Freeman Out of the Burning (1961) 28: ’Bout time you got off your mother’s sugar tit. Anybody socks you, sock him back twice as hard.
[US]E. Thompson Garden of Sand (1981) 319: She’ll give you some sugar-tit and tell you what a great big boy you are.
sweet tits (n.)

a male-to-female term of affection.

[UK]Roger’s Profanisaurus in Viz 98 Oct. 27: sweet tits n. Affectionate male term of endearment for females. ‘Good-night, good-night! / Parting is such sweet sorrow / That I shall say good-night until it be morrow, sweet tits’, (from ‘Romeo and Juliet’ by William Shakespeare).
tit off (v.) [on the model of jerk off v. (1)]

(Aus.) to caress a woman’s breasts.

[Aus]Lette & Carey Puberty Blues 24: At South Cronulla we’d let the boys ‘tit-us-off’ and occasionally get a hand down our pants.
tits and zits (adj.) [zit n.2 (1)]

(US) pertaining to teenage love and sex.

[US]H. Rawson Dict. of Invective (1991) 388: Since added to with such common phrases as [...] tits and zits, having to do with the passion of teenagers.
tits on a bull (also …boar (hog), …canary)

something utterly useless; usu. in phr. no more use than tits on a bull etc (cf. useless as tits on a nun ).

[US]B.A. Botkin Folk-Say 107: You’re just as useless as tits on a boar hog.
[US]B. Field Piper Tomkins 119: By God, neither of them ever done me any more good than the tits on a boar hog!
[US]C. Carlile As I Was Young and Easy 78: The Doc saying how dogs was as worthless as tits on a boar hog. The Doc didn’t like dogs.
[US]J.E. Bassett Harm’s Way 191: When my class at Harvard got together at a reunion, you’d be surprised how many fellows felt the same way. Useless as tits on a boar hog.
[US]J. Baumbach Reruns 55: The Champ don’t think you’re worth tits on a boar hog, Kid.
[US](con. 1969) M. Herr Dispatches 6: ‘Didn’t you ever meet a reporter before?’ I asked him. ‘Tits on a bull,’ he said. ‘Nothing personal.’.
[US](con. 1970) J.M. Del Vecchio 13th Valley (1983) 83: ‘Thaht weapon goan get so heavy you’re goan cuss it like tits on a bull.’.
[Aus]R.G. Barrett You Wouldn’t Be Dead for Quids (1989) That german shepherd was about as much use as tits on a bull: .
[US]P. Benchley Q Clearance 39: Son, that’s about as much use to me as tits on a canary.
[US]J.C. Hale Jailing of Cecelia Capture 47: ‘Useless as tits on a boar!’ And if she tried to get away she would be grabbed and pulled back.
[US]S. Cunningham et al. Red Dust and Broadsides 186: And don’t stand there useless as the tits on a boar hog.
[Aus]L. Redhead Cherry Pie [ebook] ‘He was clueless, useless as tits on a bull’.
[US]R.J. Dewar Savage Factory 22: These types of people are as useless as tits on a boar hog.
[US] M. McBride Frank Sinatra in a Blender [ebook] Johnny No Nuts was as useless as tits on a fish.
[US]Mother Jones July/Aug. [Internet] He is a reader of old westerns and an aficionado of Civil War reenactments. He uses words like ‘gadzooks’ and phrases like ‘useful as tits on a boar hog’.
tits on toast (n.) [the belly-pork often has nipples still attached]

(N.Z.) belly-pickled pork on toast.

[NZ] (ref. to c.1916) in C. Hunt I’m Ninety-five 29: We’d make dumplings, too, fried up in the camp oven. Buggers afloat we called them... And what did we call the poached eggs? A pair of bastards on a raft, and we’d have tits on toast – belly pickled pork on toast. I still use those old names; everyone laughs at me.
[NZ]McGill Reed Dict. of N.Z. Sl. 214: tits on toast A serving on toast of bellypork, which usually has the nipples attached.
tits-up (adj.)

(orig. Can. prison) dead, i.e. laid out on one’s back; thus in fig. use, ruined, destroyed; esp. in phr. go/gone tits-up.

[US]J. Wambaugh Finnegan’s Week 146: Croaked. All the ants went tits-up.
[UK]N. Griffiths Stump 226: I’m talkin about when a job goes tits up. When [...] yeh can’t get the fuckin thing sorted.
[UK]Indep. 16 May 30/6: Whose arse is it on the line if the whole thing goes tits up?
[UK]M. Williams [blog] 3 Dec. But culturally nourishing as though this may sound, just recently it’s all started to go tits-up.
[UK](con. 1980s) I. Welsh Skagboys 190: That sort ay unselective breedin dilutes the fortitude ay a race. The morals go tits up.
[US]S. King Finders Keepers (2016) 114: The investments [...] had gone tits-up.
[UK]Times 11 June [Internet] ‘From the manifesto on, it [i.e. the Tory campaign] was all tits up,’ said a seasoned Tory operative.
[Aus]T. Spicer Good Girl Stripped Bare 23: Worrying whether I’ll go tits-up on the slippery studio floor.
useless as tits on a nun (adj.) (also …a tit on a hand, …tits on a boar (hog), …on a bull, worthless as tits on a hog)

(US/Aus.) utterly useless (cf. tits on a bull ).

[US]D.M. Garrison ‘Song of the Pipeline’ in Botkin Folk-Say 107: You’re just as useless as tits on a boar hog.
[US] ‘The Castration of the Strawberry Roan’ in G. Logsdon Whorehouse Bells Were Ringing (1995) 95: When all of a sudden he lands on all four, / That bastard’s as useless as tits on a boar.
[US]Randolph & Wilson Down in the Holler 175: Useless as tits on a boar hog is another common expression of futility.
[US]R.A. Wilson Playboy’s Book of Forbidden Words 73: Something useless or superfluous [...] worthless as tits on a hog.
[NZ]McGill Dict. of Kiwi Sl. 118/1: useless as a tit on a hand / as a gumdigger’s dog very useless.
[Aus]G. Seal Lingo 88: Bodily and mental afflictions, real, imagined or fervently wished, also feature strongly in Lingo. One can [...] have a face like a busted sandshoe; be useless as tits on a nun.
[Ire]G. Coughlan Everyday Eng. and Sl. [Internet] As useless as tits on a bull.

In exclamations