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(con. c.1970) Phantom Blooper 203: Donlon says, grinning, ‘So did you ever meet the Phantom Blooper face to face?’ I say, ‘Does a teddy bear have cotton balls? Does Superman fly in his underwear?’. (con. c.1970) Phantom Blooper 22: Down in the French Quarter they scored about one ton of Acapulco Gold from some black jazz musicians. (con. c.1970) Phantom Blooper 5: North of Hue City the Phantom Blooper is a salt and pepper team of snuffy grunts who guide the Marine patrols into L-shaped ambushes set by the Viet Cong. (con. c.1970) Phantom Blooper 47: The only people I’ve ever understood and the only people who ever understood me are these hard-headed raggedy-assed grunts. (con. c.1970) Phantom Blooper 15: We are as happy as pigs in shit because killing is our business and business is good. (con. c.1970) Phantom Blooper 46: But Marines are not construction workers. [...] We are stone-hard kickers of enemy ass. (con. c.1970) Phantom Blooper 15: In Viet Nam nice guys do not finish at all and monsters live forever. You got to bring ass to get ass. (con. c.1970) Phantom Blooper 38: I feel proud to be attacked by these brass-balled little hardasses, and proud to be killing them. (con. c.1970) Phantom Blooper 13: Inside the only guard bunker still standing in our area, our New Guy is busy choking his lizard [...] polishing his bayonet, just a little early-morning organ practice to cut the edge off the cold. (con. c.1970) Phantom Blooper 185: The beach bunnies were like pink frisky seals and promised to take off their bikinis if the Eskimo Commandoes would denounce Karl Marx. (con. c.1970) Phantom Blooper 32: He leans down into the Beaver’s face and grunts. ‘The Joker knows that you the beast because the Joker is a blue-eyed soul brother.’. (con. c.1970) Phantom Blooper 9: He took the bullet train to Kyoto, scarfed up beaucoup sake. (con. c.1970) Phantom Blooper 45: Skinny gooks [...] and fireteams of teenaged whores who flashed bee-sting tits at us. (con. c.1970) Phantom Blooper 126: The last two are both over forty, [...] both of them too pale and too beefy to be lifer light colonels. (con. c.1970) Phantom Blooper 9: He took the bullet train to Kyoto, scarfed up beaucoup sake and Japanese bennies, and took long hot baths with slant-eyed naked jailbait. (con. c.1970) Phantom Blooper 63: Then the NVA gooks would think we were bigshot civilian news reporters from New York City and wouldn’t shoot us in the back of the head. (con. c.1970) Phantom Blooper 14: Half of my people are salty black grunts, but Black John Wayne has ordered the bloods to stand down and to stand by for mutiny. (con. c.1970) Phantom Blooper 181: Every guy in the ward with legs wants to jump her bones and every guy with hands tries to cop a feel. (con. c.1970) Phantom Blooper 147: One of the Seabees says, ‘Hey, baby-san, you souvenir me one boom-boom?’. (con. c.1970) Phantom Blooper 48: We said, ‘Baby-san, you boom-boom?’ And she giggled, remember? She said, ‘You give me beaucoup money.’. (con. c.1970) Phantom Blooper 147: This steam-and-cream is the most famous and most popular boom-boom parlor in Eye-Corps because it features only round-eyed whores, none over the age of fifteen. (con. c.1970) Phantom Blooper 170: A cheerful medic in a skuzzy boonie hat kneels down and whips out a morphine Syrette. (con. c.1970) Phantom Blooper 7: Down in the kill zone, the Kid From Brooklyn dittybops through budding gardens of metal planted thick with deadly antipersonnel mines. (con. c.1970) Phantom Blooper 234: Hey, I got me a job in Istanbul polishing brass-topped buildings, if that’s all right with you, and even if it’s not all right with you, shit-for-brains. (con. c.1970) Phantom Blooper 23: Hey, man, don’t even talk to Black John Wayne about no Mickey Mouse listening posts and none of that other gung ho Audie Murphy whitebread shit. (con. c.1970) Phantom Blooper 28: This area is off limits to that fucking pogue lifer and his brown-nosers until we give him a First Platoon passport. (con. c.1970) Phantom Blooper 171: A skinhead Lieutenant leans down and looks at my face. He’s a pudgy little guy, another wild-eyed butter-bar bucking for tracks. (con. c.1970) Phantom Blooper 26: So if we be here to fight, why we bugging out? (con. c.1970) Phantom Blooper 189: Man, you are so out of date, even your bullshit is bullshit. (con. c.1970) Phantom Blooper 12: Every twenty meters I stoop down and tug at the barbed wire [...] The tugging scares up bunker rats big enough to stand flat-footed and butt-fuck a six-by.