Green’s Dictionary of Slang

piss n.

[piss v. (1)]

1. urine.

[UK]Chaucer Wife of Bath’s Prologue line 729: How Xantippa caste pisse up-on his heed.
[UK]Promptuarium Parvulorum 402/1: Pysse, or pysche, urina, minctura.
[UK]E. More Schole house of Women Biii: A pyspot they brake vpon his pate [...] The pysse ran downe, by hys chekes.
[UK]‘Misdiaboles’ Ulysses upon Ajax 42: In commendation of p——g, bringing out of Valerius the story of the Cretans who [...] drunk their own p—s.
[UK]Dekker Honest Whore Pt 1 II i: Fah, not I, makes your breath stinke, like the pisse of a Foxe.
[UK]Rowlands Knave of Hearts 45: You sent me to the Doctors with your pisse, And by the way, the Vrinall did breake [...] pray you leake againe, And Ile to morrow, take some further paine.
[UK]J. Harington Epigrams II No. 43: Found meanes to write his mind in excellent verse: / For want of Pen and Inke, with pisse and ordure.
[UK]R. Herrick ‘Upon Sudds a Laundresse’ Hesperides 109: Sudds Launders Bands in pisse; and starches them / Both with her Huband’s, and her own tough steame.
[UK]Marvell ‘Last Instructions to a Painter’ Poems and Satires (1892) 50: His patient piss he could hold longer than / An urinal.
[UK]A. Radcliffe ‘A Call to the Guard by a Drum’ Poems 64: From your crack’d Earthen Pisspots where no Piss can stay.
[UK] ‘The 2nd Part of St. George for England’ in Playford Pills to Purge Melancholy I 331: As birch is soaked first in Piss when Boys are to be whipt.
[UK]A great & famous scoldling-match 3: Out upon you, you old fulsom Punk you; your Breath stinks worse than the rank Piss of a hunted Bitch-Fox.
[UK]Humours of a Coffee-House 16 Jan. 91: Your Sal Volatile Oleosum Man, that makes such a Noise with crying old stinking Piss about the Town.
[Ire]A. Philips & H. Carey ‘Namby Pamby’ in A. Carpenter Verse in Eng. in 18C Ireland (1998) 141: Little Jingles, little Chimes, / [...] / Piddling Ponds of Pissy-Piss.
[Ire] ‘The Gentleman’s Study’ Dublin Mag. 18: Four different Stinks lay there together, Which were, Sweat, Turd, and Piss, and Leather.
[UK]Derby Mercury 10 July 2/2: They would only require us to believe that the Parings of a Cucumber are a Leg of Mutton, and that a Pot of Piss is a Mug of Strong Beer.
[UK]Hist. of Jack Horner 18: They caper’d high, the piss did fly.
[UK] ‘The Giblet Pye’ in Bold (1979) 227: Sly Darby, being enraged at this, / Resolved when next they met to seize / The lock that scatters Una’s piss.
[Scot]Bugger’s Alphabet in Bold (1979) 42: C is the cunt all covered in piss.
[UK] ‘The Racehorse’ Gentleman Steeple-Chaser 4: What stuff is that your munchin? / Drink water too that stinks like p-ss.
[Aus]Satirist & Sporting Chron. (Sydney) 1 Apr. 3/2: Mr. D—d P—s [...] has discontinued sending his mad-servant to his shipmate J—n H—s for half a pint of Ale for his supper; as D— discovered her in the dark making up the deficiency in p**s.
[US] ‘The Love Feast’ in T.P. Lowry Stories the Soldiers Wouldn’t Tell (1994) 58: When quite undressed, the bower of bliss / Dissolved in one warm rush of piss / Whose briny jet bedewed the nick.
[UK]‘Walter’ My Secret Life (1966) X 2083: As my sperm rises I love her, could drink her piss, her blood, so do I long to be incorporate with her.
[UK]Crissie 81: ‘I drink your pizz, I eat your bottham’.
[Ire]Joyce Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man 96: That is horse piss and rotted straw, he thought.
[US]Mencken letter 13 Sept. in Riggio Dreiser-Mencken Letters II (1986) 388: The story of the Irishman who dropped his sandwich in the gutter. ‘Mike,’ he said to his friend, ‘have you ever tasted horse-piss’.
[Ire]Joyce Ulysses 161: Spaton sawdust, sweetish warmish cigarette smoke, reek of plug, spilt beer, men’s beery piss, the stale of ferment.
[US]H. Miller Tropic of Cancer (1963) 56: The globe was sprayed with warm turtle piss.
[NZ]D. Davin For the Rest of Our Lives 52: The drunken back streets of Cairo where [...] the gutters stank of piss.
[US]‘William Lee’ Junkie (1966) 138: It stinks like piss in here.
[UK]N. Dunn Up the Junction 29: The toilet is aswim with piss.
[US]‘Iceberg Slim’ Mama Black Widow 82: A white haire black guy [...] sprawled drunkenly [...] in a puddle of piss.
[UK]A. Bleasdale Scully 174: Y’all shitbags an’ cack merchants [...] y’all stewin’ in y’own piss.
[UK]S. Berkoff Decadence in Decadence and Other Plays (1985) 34: He thinks his piss now tastes like wine.
[US]S. Morgan Homeboy 377: The youth convulsed grotesquely, squirting piss down his pantleg.
[Ire](con. 1970) G. Moxley Danti-Dan in McGuinness Dazzling Dark (1996) II v: My heart pumps piss for you.
[UK]Indep. on Sun. Culture 9 Jan. 2: His father [...] crashing drunkenly into the piss-bucket on the stairs of their hovel.
[Aus]T. Winton ‘Cockleshell’ Turning (2005) 123: The ointment’s active consituent is urea. He knows what that is. Piss!
[UK]J. Fagan Panopticon (2013) 131: A flood of pish darkens his crotchless breecks. Thick yellow snot drips off his glasses.
[WI]Alakaline ‘A Bagga Tings’ 🎵 Mi piss clean, mi batty clean / [...] / Mi hole clean / And mi mouth bloodcaat clean.
[US]S. King Finders Keepers (2016) 141: He rode down to the lobby in the piss-smelling elevator.
[Scot]A. Parks February’s Son 130: ‘Left a hotel room full of bottles of his own piss and shite’.
[Scot]G. Armstrong Young Team 38: [Y]ir typical Scottish pub, toilet stinkin ae pish, faded tartan carpets, dark wooden furnishings.
[US]S.A. Crosby Blacktop Wasteland 36: ‘I’ve pissed myself. [...] Do you understand that? I’m sitting here in a puddle of piss’.
[Aus]G. Disher Consolation 13: Piss and shit odours drilling into his sinuses.

2. an act of urination.

[UK]Proceedings at Sessions of Peace, and Oyer and Terminer (City of London) Jan. 19/1: He ask’d him, what Business he had at that Post? [...] Then the Prisoner said, he had been at Piss.
[UK] ‘Toasts And Sentiments’ Cuckold’s Nest 48: How very convenient are those corner places, / Which beside every gin shop one sees, / Wherein men may walk to the wall, turn their faces, / And have a good p--s at their ease.
[UK] ‘Sally May’ Nancy Dawson’s Cabinet of Songs 8: At p-ss one day I saw the lass.
[Ire]Joyce Ulysses 546: Was he insulting you while me and him was having a piss?
[US]H. Roth Call It Sleep (1977) 247: I godda take a piss.
[UK]K. Amis letter 15 May in Leader (2000) 66: To put a lump of sugar in his mouth or go for a piss.
[US]J. Jones From Here to Eternity (1998) 613: Every time I took a piss I thought I had the clap for sure.
[UK]T. Keyes All Night Stand 58: [I] tried to amuse myself by having a piss.
[UK]P. Larkin ‘Sad Steps’ Coll. Poems (1988) 169: Groping back to bed after a piss / I part thick curtains.
[WI]S. Baku ‘One Bad Casa’ Three Plays I iii: I’m dying to have a piss. Where’s the W.C.?
[UK]N. Barlay Curvy Lovebox 166: That was that most to-tahly smashing piss I evah have.
[UK]N. Griffiths Grits 170: When wih get back t’mih car ih gors off fer a piss.
[Aus]C. Hammer Scrublands [ebook] He [...] has a piss in the public toilet.
[US]D. Winslow Border [ebook] She can [...] sneak into the restroom at Larry & Gene’s gas station across the street to take a piss or a shit.
[US]S.A. Crosby Blacktop Wasteland 13: He was taking a piss.

3. as a drink.

(a) (also pee) any sort of weak or otherwise unpalatable drink, whether alcoholic or non-alcoholic.

[UK]‘George Orwell’ Down and Out in Complete Works I (1986) 153: Dat tay in de spike ain’t tay, it’s piss.
[UK]K. Amis letter 11 Mar. in Leader (2000) 694: Food excellent, wine awful piss.
[Aus]J. O’Grady It’s Your Shout, Mate! 19: He takes a couple of swallows. ‘Strewth,’ he says. ‘Piss,’ he says.
[US]R.D. Pharr Giveadamn Brown (1997) 24: [I]t was good wine. No the pee the winos guzzle.
[US]D. Waters Heathers [film script] What did you do, put a phlegm globber in it or something? I’m not gonna drink that piss.
[Aus]P. Temple Bad Debts (2012) [ebook] Legge took a sip of his coffee and pulled a face. ‘This stuff tastes like piss too’.
[UK]K. Sampson Powder 115: He took a gingerly sip of Mâcon Blanc and declared it piss.
[UK]N. Griffiths Sheepshagger 184: Whisky, not povo headfuck cheap piss like that.
[Aus]P. Temple Broken Shore (2007) [ebook] Life’s short, son, don’t drink any old piss.
[Aus]J.J. DeCeglie Drawing Dead [ebook] This wine is piss. It’ll taste like acid and fuck you up in two mouthfuls.
[US]C. Hiaasen Squeeze Me 109: ‘The dancing’s awful, the music sucks, the drinks are piss’.

(b) (also pish) an alcoholic drink.

[UK](con. WWI) Fraser & Gibbons Soldier and Sailor Words 224: Pish: Whiskey. Any spirits.
[UK]A. Sillitoe Sat. Night and Sun. Morning 90: You can’t stand up to ’em with all that piss inside you.
[Aus]J. Wynnum I’m a Jack, All Right 47: I can stand anything but a nasty drunk [...] A man who gets a skinful of piss and then wants to take on the world, gets my back up.
[US]R.D. Pharr S.R.O. (1998) 116: ‘What’s the name of that slop you and Charlie were drinking? I’m going to [...] buy you a quart of the piss’.
[Oth]D. Marechera House of Hunger (2013) [ebook] ‘Dope? You take that – stuff?’ ‘Yes. The Lebanese variety is the best piss for me’.
[US]J. Wambaugh Glitter Dome (1982) 15: It’s this Glitter Dome piss you’re drinkin. Irish whiskey, my dick.
[Aus]R.G. Barrett You Wouldn’t Be Dead for Quids (1989) 38: ‘Jesus, how much piss did you drink last night?’ He gave the empty wine flagon a kick.
[Scot]I. Welsh Trainspotting 302: A couple of bottles of your best piss . . . and a table for four.
[Aus]R.G. Barrett Mud Crab Boogie (2013) [ebook] I liked to see the boys getting stuck into the piss.
[US]Simon & Burns ‘Straight and True’ Wire ser. 3 ep. 5 [TV script] I like my piss in bottles.
[Aus]D. McDonald Luck in the Greater West (2008) 5: The cunts come down an’ drank all my piss las’ month.
[Aus]D. Whish-Wilson Shore Leave 94: [T]hey’d spent the night around the fire ‘sinking piss’.
[UK]M. Herron Secret Hours 230: ‘[S]ome awful piss in a shot glass for the lout with the comedy tie’.

(c) beer.

[Aus]K. Gilbert Living Black 220: Got forty-four gallon drums of bloody metho ’n all the piss they want.
[NZ]G. Johnston Fish Factory 85: Do you blame me for letting him get full of piss?
[NZ]B. Stewart Broken Arse II i: What? Knocking off piss from the Breweries. Look who cares about a few beers off them?
[Aus]R.G. Barrett Goodoo Goodoo 7: Fuck piss, I need something stronger. A vodka.
[UK]A. O’Hagan Our Fathers 140: We’ll have two pints of yer best piss.
[Aus]R.G. Barrett Mystery Bay Blues 18: How much did you get out of her bag, Les? Enough for a slab of piss?
[Ire]P. Howard PS, I Scored the Bridesmaids 204: The local piss we’re drinking is called Toohey’s.

4. rubbish, nonsense, anything or anyone unappealing, worthless.

[UK]K. Amis letter 24 Mar. in Leader (2000) 123: They show us their pictures, which are UNRELIEVED BAD NINETEENTH CENTURY ANECDOTAL ACADEMY PISS.
[UK]K. Amis letter 27 Nov. in Leader (2000) 249: Have you read Eliz. Taylor’s A wreath of roses? Piss, but two or three sodding funny scenes.
[UK]K. Amis letter 2 Apr. in Leader (2000) 623: Bawled ‘piss’ and other unspeakables at a young British poet and globe-trotter, who I thought was a great piss-talker.
[US]Eble Campus Sl. Mar. 5: piss [...] Billy’s getting an A on that test was a real piss.
[Can]O.D. Brooks Legs 44: If you dump that swamp piss like I told you, I’ll fill that pot with the best alky you ever drank.
[UK]J. Niven Kill Your Friends (2009) 26: Finally we release your debut album. The NME expends a hundred words [...] to call it ‘undiluted piss’.
[Scot]I. Welsh Decent Ride 103: Ye git aw this pish aboot no overstepping boundaries.
Twitter 18 Mar. 🌐 This week in batshit deductions by an absolute helmet, we have Kelvin [McKenzie] talking utter piss.

5. in fig. use, high spirits.

[US]J. Thompson Pop. 1280 in Four Novels (1983) 381: Fellas would get all full of piss an’ high spirits and take right off after them.
[US]T. Willocks Green River Rising 161: His time in the infirmary had taken all the piss out of him.

In derivatives

pissless (adj.)

see separate entry.

In compounds

piss-ache (adj.)

appalling, unpleasant, distasteful.

[US]S. King Dreamcatcher 10: For a moment everything is all right again; as right as it can be in such a piss-ache world.
piss-all (n.) [var. on fuck all n.]

nothing at all.

[US]S. King Stand (1990) 1177: ‘The Great Western Desert!’ he cried. ‘The Big Piss-All!’.
piss and punk (n.) [punk n.3 ]

(orig. US prison) bread and water.

[US]J.L. Riordan ‘Some ‘G.I. Alphabet Soup’’ in AS XXII:2 Apr. 111: A bread-and-water diet may be called B. and W., though in the Navy and Marine Corps the more usual signification is the alliterative piss and punk.
[US]L.F. Cooley Run For Home (1959) 65: Maybe you done something wrong and they’re gonna give you piss and punk for thirty days!
[US](con. WWII) R. Leckie Marines! 59: I was in the bread-and-water cell starting to do my five days of piss-and-punk.
[US]D. Ponicsan Last Detail 18: It’s not like the brig. They take it easier on long termers. Christ, I was on piss ’n punk for three of the eight days.
[US]Bentley & Corbett Prison Sl. 11: Piss ’n’ Punk Rations of bread and water which are served in the hole or lockdown situations. This practice is not widespread today.
piss artist (n.) [-artist sfx]

1. a regular drunk.

[UK]F. Norman Guntz 17: Some of the less hardened piss artists started to fall a-kip on the floor.
[Ire]J. Ryan Remembering How We Stood 142: ‘Sports-king’ was an echo of Dublin small talk, nineteen-thirty vintage – the nearest contemporary expression would be ‘piss-artist’.
[UK](con. 1950s) D. Nobbs Second From Last in the Sack Race 266: They’re all piss-artists.
[UK](con. 1950s–60s) in G. Tremlett Little Legs 2: The old man was like me, a piss-artist.
[UK]Guardian 15 Oct. 25: Many, to my knowledge, the media’s thirstiest piss artists.
[UK]K. Sampson Outlaws (ms.) 23: It’s not the greatest ever time I’ve had in there. Too many piss artists.
[UK]K. Richards Life 435: My dad turned out to be a great piss artist.

2. a general term of abuse.

[UK]C. Logue Prince Charming 205: A bunch of Anglo-French geriatric piss-artists.
piss-bag (n.) [-bag sfx]

a despicable person.

Viz Comic: The Big Hard No. 2 81: Ya fuckin’ piss-bag!!!
pissballing (adj.)

see separate entry.

pissboil (n.)

(US) an unpleasant individual.

[UK]‘Aidan Truhen’ Price You Pay 8: [U]p comes this walking pissboil and shoves a knife in his face [and Mike] took the knife and threw it away and then unfortunately went ahead and amputated the pissboil’s patella with a .38.
piss britches (n.) [i.e. one who ‘wets their pants’]

(US black) a general term of abuse.

[US]‘Iceberg Slim’ Mama Black Widow 156: Shet up yu stoopid piss britches.
piss bucket (n.)

(US) a contemptible person.

[US]F. Kellerman Stalker (2001) 208: She thought he was a piss bucket, excuse my French.
piss-burned (adj.) (also piss-burnt)

discoloured, esp. of a grey wig which has turned yellow.

[UK]Behn Lucky Chance II i: A cloak to skulk in a-night, and a pair of piss-burned shammy breeches.
[UK]N. Ward ‘The Authors Lamentation’ Writings (1704) 23: My coat it is turn’d, with the Lappets Piss-Burn’d.
[Ire]M. Davys ‘The Modern Poet’ in A. Carpenter Verse in Eng. in 18C Ireland (1998) 135: On wooden Peg hung piss-burnt Perriwig.
[UK]Fielding Joseph Andrews (1954) III 274: A long piss-burnt beard served to retain the liquor of the stone-pot.
[UK]Grose Classical Dict. of the Vulgar Tongue ms. additions n.p.: Piss-burned, commonly applied to a Discoloured Grey Wig.
[UK]Grose Classical Dict. of the Vulgar Tongue (2nd, 3rd edn) n.p.:
[UK]Lex. Balatronicum.
[UK]Egan Grose’s Classical Dict. of the Vulgar Tongue.
pisscan (n.) [can n.1 (4c)]

(US prison) a prison.

[US]Goldin et al. DAUL 158/1: Piss-can. The station-house, or local jail. Any place where suspects or accused are held while awaiting hearing.
piss club (n.)

(US) a club for devotees of urolagnia.

[US]interview in Murray & Murrell Lang. Sadomasochism (1989) 106: Piss clubs are getting more and more common .
piss-cutter (n.) [? the sharpness, whether seen as positive or negative] (US)

1. a generally obnoxious person.

[US]L. Uris Battle Cry (1964) 144: Ain’t he a pisscutter?

2. an admirable or exceptional person.

[US]Goldin et al. DAUL 158/1: Piss-cutter [...] Any extraordinary person or thing; anything affording extreme satisfaction or dissatisfaction; an unusual occurrence or predicament. ‘That guy Solly is sure a pisser on the cannon’ (picking pockets).
[US]S. Ace Stand On It (1979) 94: He knew right away you’d grow up to be a regular piss-cutter.
[US]H. Rawson Dict. of Invective (1991) 302: pisscutter, a term of admiration for someone or something of excellence.
[Aus]B. Moore Lex. of Cadet Lang. 270: piss cutter a general term of praise or avowal of enthusiasm.

3. an outstanding or excellent thing.

[US]J. Conroy World to Win 296: He kept himself busy figuring [...] the dimensions of a boat he planned, and it would surely be a jimdandy, a pisscutter.
[US]C. Odets Awake and Sing! II ii: myron: Now isn’t that funny, Big Boy?’ moe: It’s a pisscutter!

4. a drunken spree, a binge.

[US]L. Uris Battle Cry (1964) 191: Burnside and McQuade had gone on a real pisscutter the night before.

5. a major confrontation.

[US]L. Uris Battle Cry (1964) 471: The Japs are staging for a pisscutter.

see separate entries.

pissflaps (n.) (also piss-flappers)

1. the labia [flap n.1 (6)].

[US]J. Goodall ‘Massive Probl. Re-entry’ in Free Poetry Apr. n.p.: Cocks of coke squeezed like viscid buckshot and hate-crumbs from the piss-flaps of the Klan [OED].
[Aus]D. Ireland Glass Canoe (1982) 188: Watch it, boy, I’ve got very big piss flaps.
[UK]K. Lette Llama Parlour 91: I’d come from a country where the blokes called a vagina a ‘muckhole’ and the labia majora ‘piss flaps’.
[US]Alt. Eng. Dict. 🌐 piss flappers (compound noun, count) women’s labia. Very rude expression.
[UK](con. 1991) W. Self Dorian 115: He’s like some hideous old maid, who’s terrified a roach is going to crawl into her piss flaps.
[Scot]I. Welsh Dead Man’s Trousers 150: A twsited dark canopy [...] like a vagina wi open piss flaps.

2. a term of abuse.

[UK]D. Mitchell Black Swan Green 91: I says, ‘You’re gonna fuckin’ regret that, Piss Flaps.’.
piss freak (n.) [freak n.1 (5)]

a person who derives sexual satisfaction from being urinated on.

[US]Ebonics Primer at 🌐 piss freak Definition: a person who derives sexual satisfaction from the act of another person urinating on them. Example: Jermaine be a piss freak, he thank he a toilet stool!
piss hard-on (n.) (also piss-horn) [hard-on n. (1)/horn n.2 (1d)]

the erection with which a man awakes, due to the need to urinate as much as the desire for sex.

[US]C. Brown Manchild in the Promised Land (1969) 289: You know how if a guy wakes up in the morning, and he’s a young guy, he usually has a piss hard-on.
[US]R.A. Wilson Playboy’s Book of Forbidden Words.
[Aus]D. Ireland Glass Canoe (1982) 183: He hadn’t gone down yet, especially with half of him being a piss-horn.
[US]H. Stevens Incest daughter cap. 2: I just have to piss. That’s all. All I’ve got is a piss hard-on.
[US]S. King Finders Keepers (2016) 3: ‘Old fella’s got a woody. Must have been having one hell of a dream.’ ‘Just a piss hard on‘.
piss-head (n.)

see separate entry.


see separate entries.

pisshouse (n.) (also slash house)

1. a lavatory.

[US] Narr. Case John Porter, Jun. in Shurtleff Rec. Governor & Company of Mass. Bay in New Eng. (1853-54) IV 216: He called his mother Rambeggur, Gammar Shithouse, Gammar Pissehouse [...] & these abusive names he vsed frequently.
[US]Berrey & Van den Bark Amer. Thes. Sl.
[US]N. Cassady letter in Charters (1993) 191: Edith (her sister) and Patricia (my love) walked out of the pisshouse hand in hand.
[SA]A. La Guma Walk in the Night (1968) 4: Every time a man goes to the piss-house he starts moaning. [...] Well, he picked on me for going for a leak and I told him to go to hell.
[UK]C. Wood ‘Prisoner and Escort’ in Cockade (1965) I iii: Everywhere – the slash house even.
[US]C. Bukowski Erections, Ejaculations etc. 410: Nobody wants to lay on the floor of a pisshouse.
[US]M. Seide Common Wilderness 656: Just brand it on your pecker with a glowing butt the next time you sneak off to the pisshouse to do your little thing.
[UK](con. WW2) T. Jones Heart of Oak [ebook] The old cunt — he ought to be shot / And tied to the wall of a piss-house, a piss-house / And left there to fuckingwell rot!
[Aus]P. Temple Bad Debts (2012) [ebook] Danny come in, full of dough, drinking Jim Beam, in and out of the pisshouse.
[UK]A. Sillitoe Birthday 66: Better not, or I’ll be looking for a piss-house every five minutes.

2. (US Und.) a police station.

[US]D. Maurer ‘Argot of the Und.’ AS VII:2 112: Piss-house, n., The police station.
[US]Berrey & Van den Bark Amer. Thes. Sl.
[US]Monteleone Criminal Sl. (rev. edn).

3. an unpleasant place.

[US]Budd Schulberg Sanctuary V 249: [...] my seven months in this ambassadorial pisshouse.

4. (N.Z. prison) that room in which urine tests are conducted.

[NZ]D. Looser Boobslang [U. Canterbury D.Phil. thesis] 141/2: piss house n. = pub.
piss-kitchen (n.) [SE kitchen, i.e. where she (fig.) urinates]

a kitchen maid.

[UK]Smollett Peregrine Pickle (1964) 20: He [...] did not scruple to damn her for a squinting, block-faced, chattering piss-kitchen; and immediately after drank despair to all old maids.
piss pig (n.) [pig n. (2d)]

(N.Z. prison) a urine tester.

[NZ]D. Looser Boobslang [U. Canterbury D.Phil. thesis] 141/2: piss squad n. (also piss test crew) n the prison officers who obtain inmates’ urine samples for testing for evidence of drug use.
piss pipe (n.) [SE pipe/pipe n.1 (2a)]

the male urinary tract.

ghost on Urban Dict. 🌐 piss pipe The penis. Back in a minute. I have to drain the piss pipe.
M. MacBride ‘Sounding’ in ThugLit Mar. [ebook] [H]e’d hidden that wire inside his piss pipe.

see separate entries.

piss prophet (n.) (also pisspot-peeper) [pisspot n. + SE prophet/peeper]

a physician who makes all their diagnoses on the basis of inspecting the patient’s urine.

E. Poeton ‘The Urinall crackt in the carriage’ in BL Sloane (1954) 144: Our country Corydons have caught it up for a custome, to carry their waters up and downe the country, to this or that cunning man, cunning woman, Quack, knave, or els to some potent Parson Pissprophet, from whom they expect no less than a Delphian oracle.
T. Brian [bk title] The Pisse-Prophet or, Certain Pisse-pot Lectures.
[UK]‘A medicine for the Quartan Ague’ in Ebsworth Merry Drollery Compleat (1875) 277: The Aphorisms of Galen I count but as straws, / Profound Pispot-peepers be you all mure.
[UK]Grose Classical Dict. of the Vulgar Tongue ms. additions n.p.: Piss Prophet, a Physician who judges by the Urine.
[UK]Grose Classical Dict. of the Vulgar Tongue (2nd, 3rd edn).
[UK]Lex. Balatronicum.
[UK]Egan Grose’s Classical Dict. of the Vulgar Tongue.
piss-proud (adj.)

of a man, having an erection on waking.

[UK]Grose Classical Dict. of the Vulgar Tongue ms. additions n.p.: Piss-Proud. Having a false erection of the Penis. That old fellow thought he had an erection, but his — was only piss-proud.
[UK]Grose Classical Dict. of the Vulgar Tongue (2nd, 3rd edn) n.p.: Piss-proud. Having a false erection. That old fellow thought he had an erection, but his — was only piss-proud; said of any old fellow who marries a young wife.
[UK]Lex. Balatronicum.
[UK]Egan Grose’s Classical Dict. of the Vulgar Tongue.
[US]H. Rawson Dict. of Invective (1991) 302: piss proud. A priapism, esp. upon awakening.
[UK]Roger’s Profanisaurus 3 in Viz 98 Oct. 22: piss-proud adj. To be the owner of a dawn horn; morning glory.
piss stop (n.) [pun on SE pit stop, motor-racing jargon]

a visit to the lavatory, esp. during a drive or drinking session.

[Aus]M. Coleman Fatty 239: ‘What’s going on, Alex?’ he asked, ‘piss stop?’‘No lud,’ came the reply, ‘lunch’.
‘Shitter’ ‘Drinking Tales’ 🌐 Before making the trek up to the field we decided to make a piss stop in the school. The closest bathroom to the entrance we went in had 2 urinals and 1 toilet.

see separate entries.

piss test

see separate entries.

piss-walloper (n.)

(US) something remarkable, impressive.

[US](con. c.1900) J. Thompson King Blood (1989) 79: A real piss-walloper, ain’t she? A rip-roarin’ son-of-a-bitch!
piss-water (n.)

(US) a weak drink.

[US]G. Pelecanos Night Gardener 121: Johnson had been drinking something other than this pisswater.
P. Temple ‘High Art’ in The Red Hand 44: ‘Got any non-craft beer? Perhaps Scandi pisswater?’.
piss-weasel (n.)

general term of abuse.

Twitter 5 July 🌐 You and your dirty mates fucked it up, you Pob-faced pissweasel .
piss-willie (n.)

(US) a coward, an insignificant person; also attrib.

[US]T. Berger Sneaky People (1980) 161: She took to going about in her kimono, bare-ass underneath [...] and also sparkled the eyes of the little piss-willie who delivered groceries.
[SA]P. Slabolepszy ‘Boo to the Moon’ in Mooi Street (1994) 133: You know when Napoleon sent a piss-willy little telegram to Bismarck, but I bet you know stuff-all about what happened.

Pertaining to (weak) drink

In phrases

buffalo piss (n.)

(US) weak beer.

[US](con. 1968) D.A. Dye Citadel (1989) 25: I wisht I could [...] see some of that shit instead of serving buffalo piss to these guys at the club. [Ibid.] 181: You fuckers [...] wouldn’t know fine champagne from water buffalo piss.
(con. 1973) Ted’s Trip Through the Ether 🌐 Anyway to come to a conclusion we decided that the Brit Rep did not want his boys ‘drinking our buffalo piss and barking at the moon’.
Kai’s Komic Kaptions 🌐 Gah! This tastes like buffalo piss! Psst, hey buddy! Would you go get me a REAL drink?
bull piss (n.)

(US) very low quality, cheap liquor.

[US](con. WWI) Dos Passos One Man’s Initiation: 1917 (1969) 11: Everybody is soused on the strong red [i.e. French] army wine — nicknamed Pinard (bull piss).
[US]S. King Stand (1990) 824: If it came down to a choice between drinking Za-Rex and bullpiss, I’d have to sit down and think.
dogpiss (n.)

any weak or diluted drink. 🌐 As the watch commander put it, this dogpiss is for pussies!
gnat’s piss (n.)

see separate entry.

horse piss (n.)

see separate entry.

monkey piss (n.)

(US) weak beer or bad wine.

[US]N. De Mille Smack Man (1991) 97: Bring us three mugs of that monkey piss you call beer.
[Aus]J. Birmingham Tasmanian Babes Fiasco (1998) 209: He’s brought [...] two big boxes of wine.’ ‘Monkey piss?’.
on the piss

out drinking, usu. with friends; usu. in phr. go/get on the piss; thus off the piss, at the end of a drinking session.

[UK](con. 1916) F. Manning Her Privates We (1986) 33: If any of you chaps go on the piss with Bourne, and he offers you a stirrup-cup, you can take it from me he has got you beat.
[UK]P. Larkin letter 31 Oct. in Thwaite Sel. Letters (1992) 110: Your letter found me last night when I came in off the piss: in point of fact I had spewed out of a train window and farted in the presence of ladies.
[Aus]B. Humphries Barry McKenzie [comic strip] in Complete Barry McKenzie (1988) 28: Don’t you believe a word of it, Phil — he’s on the piss with his mates!
[Aus]D. Ireland Glass Canoe (1982) 48: That finished Bob. He got on the piss every day.
[UK]P. Reading ‘Duologues’ in Prison Cell and Barrel Mystery 50: See, er bloke (im as ad that motorbike crack comin ome off the piss that time).
[UK]F. Taylor Auf Wiedersehen Pet Two 79: He didn’t have to go on the piss all night like the others, did he?
[Scot]I. Welsh Filth 171: I scored some good gum-numbing cocaine [...] Then I was back out on the piss.
[Aus]Bug (Aus.) Apr. 🌐 He and some other club lackeys then spent the next two minutes saying how much they enjoyed getting on the piss together.
[UK]R. Milward Ten Storey Love Song 196: Alan’s been on the piss all aftrnoon.
[Scot]T. Black Artefacts of the Dead [ebook] [Did they] play cards on a Saturday night or go out on the pish?
panther piss (n.)

see separate entry.

shark’s piss (n.)

weak beer or other alcohol.

[UK](con. 1900s) F. Richards Old Soldier Sahib (1965) 87: Soldiers of the old John Company drank rum and not shark’s p—s.

General uses

all piss and wind (like the barber’s cat) (also all piddle and wind like the barber’s cat, all wind and piss)

1. a phr. describing a loudmouth, a braggart, all talk and no action; also euphs.

[US]Sat. Eve. Post 187:5 6/2: I’m [...] full o’ ginger an’ conceit, like a barber’s cat.
Our Navy (USN) vol. 15 25/1: ‘We're full of wind and pep like a barber's cat’.
[Ire]Joyce Ulysses 314: And he took the last swig out of the pint, Moya. All wind and piss like a tanyard cat.
(con. 1880 ) G.H.A Willis Royal Navy as I Saw It 17: Nine hundred men tumbled out [...] each man, as it was explained to me, ‘very much like a barber’s cat,’ though the application of this simile passed my understanding.
[UK]J. Maclaren-Ross Of Love And Hunger 113: Full of piss and wind. Called on us to give three cheers for Major Drummond.
[US](con. 1920s) ‘Harry Grey’ Hoods (1953) 211: You’re – full – of – wind – and – piss – like – a – barber’s – cat.
[UK]G. Kersh Fowlers End (2001) 202: These Mediterranean races are all wind, old thing. Just you call their bluff.
[Aus](con. 1944) L. Glassop Rats in New Guinea 115: Don’t pay no attention to that mug aleck [...] He’s all — and wind like the barber’s cat. He’s a no-hoper.
[UK]D. Powis Signs of Crime 207: Wind and piss, all Bragging: ‘He’s all wind and piss’ or, more politely, ‘He’s all wind and water’.
[UK]Barltrop & Wolveridge Muvver Tongue 42: A person who shows off is described as ‘all wind and piss’.
[Aus]N. Keesing Lily on the Dustbin 52: They would explain that ‘he’ was ‘full as a tick (or boot)’ or came home ‘all piddle and wind like the barber’s cat’.
[Ire](con. 1930s) L. Redmond Emerald Square 260: I thought Lanagan all piss and wind, like the Barber’s cat, and I was in no way afraid of him.
[Aus]G. Seal Lingo 125: One who is full of piss and wind is indeed void of content.
[Aus]Age (Melbourne) 6 Jan. 🌐 Na, don’t you boys go listening to the stock agent too much neither. He’s all piss and wind, that fella.
[Aus]C. Hammer Opal Country 360: ‘Tuppence might be full of piss and wind, but his assessment [...] looks to be on the money’.
[UK]R. Milward Man-Eating Typewriter 125: The Chief Steward was probably all wind and piss anyhow.

2. empty talk.

[UK]A. Sillitoe Start in Life (1979) 328: All his rhetoric about loyalty and standing by people [...] was nothing more than wind and piss.
boil one’s piss (v.)

to drive to intense anger.

[UK]R. Banks The Big Blind 54: The more I think about that, the more it boils my piss.
[UK]R. Banks No More Heroes [ebook] The thing that really boils my piss, though, is that he didn't even have the balls to tell me he'd fucked up.
[UK]L. Dounaeva Cold Bath Lane [ebook] It really boils my piss, the way he lives up there in his swanky house, eating his dinner off a silver platter.
[UK]Twitter Mar. 1 🌐 My piss is boiling so much that my bladder’s practically whistling.
feel one’s piss (v.)

to become infatuated with one’s own importance.

[US]N. Mailer Naked and Dead 94: Ol’ Stanley is really feelin’ his piss now that he’s in for corporal.
hang a piss (v.)

(Aus.) to urinate.

[Aus]L. Redhead Rubdown [ebook] I hung a quick piss to avoid any future funnel action.
hit the piss (v.)

to get drunk.

[Aus]D. Ireland Burn 24: They used to call him Fisho years ago when he hit the piss a lot. Drank like a fish.
[Aus]R.G. Barrett Between the Devlin 21: ‘[T]hey all gave you the arse as well, so you hit the piss’.
make a piss stop (v.) [pun on SE pit stop, motor-racing jargon]

to visit the lavatory, esp. to stop drinking in order to do so.

‘Shitter’ ‘Drinking Tales’ 🌐 Before making the trek up to the field we decided to make a piss stop in the school. The closest bathroom to the entrance we went in had 2 urinals and 1 toilet.
not enough sense to pour piss out of a boot

(US) a phr. used of one who is very stupid.

[US]Maledicta 1 (Summer) 13: He is so dumb he couldn’t pour piss out of a boot–with the directions printed on the heel.
piss and vinegar (n.)

energy , ‘get-up-and-go’, aggressiveness.

Partisan Rev. 59: Little Billie was full of piss and vinegar / And full of sap as a maple tree .
C. & J. West Witch Diggers 381: Same old gism, same old piss and vinegar.
H. Miller Big Sur 180: A three-year-old boy full of piss and vinegar.
[US]H. Selby Jr. Last Exit to Brooklyn 87: He [. . . .] was all fulla piss and vinegar ta go.
[US]J.A. Juarez Brotherhood of Corruption 38: ‘[T]hey get all full of piss and vinegar when they don’t get their way’.
[US]D.B. Flowers Bangs 101: Most cops would go soft on someone who was in a situation they could relate to [...] but this kind of piss and vinegar stuck in Bangs’ craw.
[US]F. Bill Back to the Dirt 70: ‘[J]ust ’cause you’re bigger than a Texas long horn don’t mean I can’t slap the piss and vinegar outta you’.
piss-funny (adj.) [so funny as to make one ‘piss themself’]

(Aus.) hilariously funny.

[Aus]Aus. Word Map 🌐 piss funny. To be exceptionally hilarious. Maybe originated from when people laugh so hard they nearly wet themselves.
Tharunka (Kensington, NSW) 1 Oct. 7/1: We received more verbal responses to this article than Philthy Ruddock received at the Scientia. The most frequent comment: ‘That was piss-funny’.
piss in the wind (n.) [piss in(to) the wind under piss v.]

a waste of time.

P. Anderson ‘A Vote for Nader is a Vote for Bush’ on Dubya Debates 🌐 I would much rather have Nader. I understand that the cards are stacked against him, and that a vote for him is a piss in the wind.
piss-in-the-wind (adj.)

pointless, time-wasting.

[US]Simon & Burns Corner (1998) 474: The politicians and professionals are still offering up the kind of piss-in-the-wind optimism that compels any rational mind to recall another, comparable disaster.
puddle of piss (n.)

a contemptible person, object or circumstance.

[US](con. 1948) G. Mandel Flee the Angry Strangers 145: And I’m a puddle of piss if anyone is going to make things rough for them while I’m still breathing.